


Play By Heart

by StormTales



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Divorce, Drama, F/M, M/M, Mental Disorders/Illnesses, Music, Romance, Sexual Assault, Softporn, parenting struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:57:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 81,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3119312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormTales/pseuds/StormTales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino is an autistic savant and a brilliant violinist. The only hard part for him and his sister, who takes care of him, is keeping a consistent and patient piano accompanist for Nino's performances. One day, Nino's sister finds Sakurai Sho, a man with a mysterious past but gifted in music. Together, the two musicians must learn to communicate with each other, live with each other, and possibly love each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Da Capo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! i'm back with a new series! this has been on my mind for a long time, and i can finally share it with you all. just to keep in mind, this story will have quite a few different character POVs. but sakumiya is the main story. you'll see what i mean.  
> And seeing as this story is centered around music, i'll provide music videos for you to listen while reading. they will all be classical music, mostly violin and piano sonatas/concertos to set the mood. they are completely optional, but i hope you try to listen to them :3  
> for this chapter, here's the music reference: Mozart Violin Sonata No18 in G Major, K 301 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7xPIyePmNk  
> Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Da Capo  
  
Sachi sat in the balcony seats while her sweaty palms twisting the program brochure until it shredded like wet tissue paper. Her younger brother played elegantly on stage with his violin; the auditorium rang with sweet melodic music. Sachi saw Nino shut his eyes tight as his fingers frantically danced across the fingerboard, and his bow arm continued to swing with fierce velocity. But Sachi wasn't worried about her brother. He was perfect.  
  
It was the piano accompaniment that made her sitting on the edge of her seat.  
  
She watched the fat bald man sweating from his brow, and he gazed frequently back at Nino as if trying to telepathically tell the violinist to slow down. Sachi hoped the accompanist would keep up with Nino instead. For once the genius violinist started, there was no stopping him. So many pianists have tried to play along with Nino, but after only a month of practicing and performing, they would quit. It wasn't because of conflicting time schedules or money issues. It was because none had the patience to work with Nino and his autism.  
  
At last, Nino played out the long final note on his violin until his bow lifted off the string. Sachi let out a shaky sigh of relief as the audience exploded with cheers and whistles. Nino had his eyes glued to his violin in a calm demeanor before he lowered his violin. The bald pianist, however, dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief before standing up to bow with Nino. Together, they walked off stage and the curtains closed. The concert was over.  
  
Sachi quickly made her way backstage to find her brother sitting by himself with his head down and cleaning his instrument. Sachi sat next to him and smiled.  
  
"You played beautifully, Nino," she complimented. "You were great."  
  
Nino didn't replied back and kept wiping his strings with a red cloth, but Sachi knew her brother well enough. His lips perked up into a proudful smirk and faint wrinkles appeared at the corner of his eyes. He was happy as well.  
  
"Sachi!" A voice boomed at her from across the room.  
  
The older sister rolled her eyes before standing up. She left her brother to his violin and faced the beet-colored pianist alone.  
  
"Dimitri," Sachi greeted.  
  
"Can you explain to me why your brother decided to change tempo...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PERFORMANCE?!" The man roared in English.  
  
Sachi took a deep breath and kept her arms at her side. "You have practiced with Nino long enough to know how he behaves-"  
  
"WE HAVE DRILLED FOR WEEKS!" The man continued to shout. A vein pulsated dangerously on his forehead. "THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME HE CHANGED THE PACE!"  
  
"Dimitri, may I remind you that-"  
  
"THE MAN NEVER LISTENS TO THE PIANO!" Dimitri shouted, now flecks of spit flew out of his mouth. "HE WANTED TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME! BUT YOU KNOW WHO'S THE FOOL? YOUR BROTHER! A MAN WHO CAN'T SO MUCH AS LOOK AT SOMEONE IN THE EYE WITH RESPECT! CONSIDER OUR CONTRACT OVER!"  
  
And the fat bald man stormed out the backstage. Sachi couldn't have been more glad to get rid of the man. He had been nothing but a nuisance to her and made Nino extremely uncomfortable. She had only hired him because they needed a new pianist after the last one dropped out during the middle of Nino's Europe tour. But both pianists had no respect and no knowledge about Nino's needs. Only a few individuals understood Nino, and Sachi could count those people with only one hand. Ever since Nino started professionally performing and touring, not a single piano accompanist could communicate and collaborate effectively with him. How Sachi wished she could play the piano as good to save them the hassle, but she never had the musical gift as her brother.  
  
Sachi glanced over her shoulder and watched Nino packing away his violin as if nothing happened. His Europe tour was finally over, and Sachi shoulders relaxed now that they're finally going back home to Japan. She walked back to Nino and touched his shoulder. He's only comfortable around her, and he only allowed Sachi to touch him. No one else could understand him like his sister. It's been like this since their parents died.  
  
Sachi smiled. "Let's go home, Nino."  
  
Nino glanced up at his sister at last. "Okay."  
  
*****  
  
Kiko sat on the toilet seat cover in her pink and white pajamas. She heard the front door open, indicating her husband was back from work at his restaurant. She heard him calling out to her, but Kiko's main concern was the plastic tube laying flat on the counter top. She kept twitching her leg up and down while waiting for the results to show up.  
  
After three minutes—she precisely counted with her phone—she grabbed the thin plastic tube and stared down at the small screen with an eager grin. Kiko glanced back at the box it came with and carefully read the instructions.  
  
"One blue strip means...not pregnant," Kiko slouched, her grin fading away.  
  
She flung the stupid pregnancy test tube back into the box and threw the whole thing in the trash bin. She swung the door wide open and retreated to the couch in the living room with her lips pouted. Her husband was in the kitchen grabbing himself a bottled drink when he saw Kiko pulling her legs up to hug them.  
  
Jun sighed and closed the refrigerator door before walking over to Kiko. He set his drink down on the coffee table before sitting down next to her and draping his arm around her. Reluctantly, she leaned her head against his shoulder. Lips still pouting.  
  
"What's wrong?" Jun asked softly.  
  
"You know what's wrong," Kiko moaned. "I've bought three different kinds of pregnancy tests and they all showed up negative." She sat up and gazed at Jun with doubt. "We've tried for six months and nothing is working."  
  
Jun glanced away and rubbed his face slowly. There were bags under his eyes, and Kiko noticed his hair looked thinner. They were both stressed out. When Kiko and Jun got married, they didn't put much thought about the trouble of making kids. Kiko wanted them, but the road has been crueler than she thought. Originally, their first assumption was that they weren't doing it at the right time, so they would only do it when she was ovulating. Then, she thought it was because she was too skinny. Kiko had worked as a model until she retired to be a magazine editor. Her body was still fairly thin, so she tried eating more to increase her body fat for regular ovulation. But she still looked the same and not pregnant. Then, Kiko tried taking fertility pills. At yet, the pregnancy tests still turned up with only one blue strip.  
  
"Kiko," Jun said quietly, "I think...we should do what the doctors suggested and-"  
  
"No!" Kiko frowned. "No, please don't say that. I don't like the idea of having our child fertilized outside of my body. And I don't want you to think this is your fault."  
  
"But what if it is?" Jun insisted. "I can't stand to see you depressed like this." He held her hand and lowered his head to be at the same eye-level. "I'm not ashamed to admit if this is my problem. We have tried everything, and I know how much you're against surrogacy."  
  
Kiko swallowed down a tight lump in her throat, but it was still there. "But...what if something goes wrong?"  
  
"It will still be our child," Jun said, his smile reaching his eyes. "Isn't that what we both want the most?"  
  
Kiko glanced up at her loving husband. They have reached their wits' end with no other options open for them. But if there was a glimmer of hope, she'll grasp for it. Kiko let out a weak smile and nodded before Jun pulled her close for a tight hug and a kiss on the top of her head. They have lived a steady life with steady income and held a wonderful home, but it was lonely with just the two of them. Kiko wanted a family of her own more than anything, and she wanted to share it with the love of her life. If her husband is with her, Kiko can overcome. She'll always have his support.  
  
"Tomorrow, we'll call the clinic and submit our IVF request," Jun patted her head.  
  
*****  
  
Three weeks passed since Sachi and Nino returned to Japan. Nino finally appeared more relaxed since their two-month summer Europe tour started back in June. But almost as soon as they returned home, Sachi received a request letter for Nino to hold another concert in Japan. Sachi almost ripped the envelope, but then she read through the letter. The collected money will be donated to the local hospital's pediatrics department, and it won't be held until next year. She pinched the bridge of her nose before she went to ask Nino.  
  
But Nino always says yes to any concert, performance, or tour. So long as he gets to play his violin, Nino will be happy. The loud acoustics of a stadium never bothered him so long as he's the one playing the music. However, Nino doesn't like playing in an orchestra. They once tried to work with a symphony with Nino as the main soloist, but the rehearsals were a living nightmare. Nino got confused with so many instruments playing at once. He began to panic and tried to copy the other players with his violin instead of playing his part. In the end, Sachi only accepted (on behalf of her brother) solo concerts. But violins cannot professionally play by themselves. A piano accompaniment must be present as well. At least with a piano, Nino could play his violin in peace. But that still left them with one problem: they had no pianist.  
  
But the fundraisers scheduled the concert until the fall of next year, so there was plenty of time until Sachi could hire a new pianist. However, calling the music college professors for requests almost always ended with short-lived partnerships. Most likely they'll recommend her another old piano player, and Sachi knew almost all of their tolerance levels. Low.  
  
A loud banging came from the front door. Sachi walked towards the entrance and saw through the eyehole a stern-faced woman waiting outside. Sachi's lips curled grimly before they quickly retracted to kind smile, and she opened the door.  
  
"Hello, Landlady," Sachi greeted. "How are you to-"  
  
"Will you tell your brother to stop playing the violin?!" The stern woman fumed. "I have guests next door, and they're looking for a  _quiet_  place to live. Be quick about it!"  
  
"...yes, Ma'am," Sachi mumbled and closed the door as kindly as she could.  
  
Their other problem: they need to move out of their apartment.  
  
Thanks to Nino's fame, they have more than enough money to buy a new house for themselves. Sachi has been saving and searching for a new home for a long time, but the only available slot for them was a new plot of land ready to be built on. It was the only option Sachi had that was in their price range and within close proximity to the city.  
  
So Sachi bought the land and hired contractors more than four months ago, and it was finally near completion. Hopefully within the next few weeks, they can finally move out. Today happens to be the last overview she'll get to see until she moves in.  
  
"Nino?" Sachi called out to her brother. "Nino, stop playing the violin."  
  
She entered his bedroom just as Nino lowered his violin. He always looked attentive to her when she talks to him. He hardly does that with others. Socializing was never Nino's strong point, and neither was cleaning his room. Piles upon piles of books, music sheets, and CD cases filled almost every inch of the tiny room. Sachi barely had enough walking space, but she was used to it. Thank god they'll be moving to a bigger home.  
  
"Today, I'm going to check our new house again. Do you want to come with me?"  
  
Nino slowly packed his violin away before he replied. "Is it finished?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"I want to stay at home," Nino said, laying down on his bed. "I'll wait. It'll be too loud there with the construction workers."  
  
Sachi nodded. "Alright then. I'll be back soon, but don't play your violin. The landlady will come back and yell again."  
  
"...fine. I won't play the violin, or the landlady will yell again," Nino repeated, sounding a little saddened.  
  
Sachi felt a tinge of guilt. "How about on Friday we can go to the park?" Sachi said, trying to cheer him up. "I'll buy you ice cream like I always do."  
  
Nino sat up with his lips pursed to hide his smile. "Yeah, okay."  
  
Sachi watched her younger brother pulled out his sticker collection and headed towards his special calendar on the wall. Colorful stickers marked important dates: concert day, new song day, favorite meal day, park day. With an ice cream sticker, he carefully placed it on the following Friday as a promise for a fun day. When Nino was little, Sachi would worry about leaving him alone at home. But the man was already in his thirties and preferred staying indoors. But she couldn't help but continue to dote on him as if he was still a six-year-old.  
  
The drive to the new house wasn't that long, but the winding road was a lot narrower than the main highway, slowing down Sachi's driving speed. Forest paths intercepted with the narrow road every so often for jogglers, but not many people lived in this neighborhood. The quietness was key; it will help Nino feel at peace. It was as if she entered a new fantasy land until the house greeted her around a bend of trees. It looked lovely already. The walls and roofings were in place as well as the windows, but the doors were still not attached. They saved that later so they could fit in the larger furniture and utilities.  
  
When she pulled up to the driveway, she saw a truck with a music logo printed on the side parked at the curb.  
  
"Oh, that's right," Sachi mumbled to herself. "They're moving in the piano."  
  
Sachi made her way inside and spotted a few men busy at work. She wanted to see the practice room, but the head contractor approached her and started talking about their progress. The house looked good and was ahead of schedule. Outside, the house looked like a traditional Japanese house with clay roof tiles and the illusion of a second floor, but Sachi requested a single-floored Western interior design with a modern kitchen, partially carpeted and wooden floors, and open rooms except for the bedrooms and bathroom that had regular doorknobs.  
  
If they keep up this pace with perfect weather, they could finish within a week. Sachi took the time to explore around her new home. It was cozy with everything they needed, and the high ceilings were perfect for acoustic soundings. Sachi also requested to have a third bedroom in case they ever have guests over. Even though Nino never liked guests...  
  
"It's truly been an honor working for you, Ninomiya-san," the contractor said. "My daughters are in junior high, and they admire your brother's performances."  
  
"Oh, thank you," Sachi bowed her head. "Do they play instruments as well?" But she immediately regretted asking.  
  
"Yes!" The father grinned enthusiastically. "Ai plays the flute, and Mai plays the clarinet. I attended to all their concerts and bring my camera-"  
  
A piano melody echoed down the hall. The contractor continued to chat, but Sachi's ears focused on the music coming from the practice room. It was soft and euphonic...but also sad. She had heard of that piece before. Nino played it the first time he picked up a violin after hearing it on TV. Sachi excused herself from the contractor (who continued chatting about his prized daughters to a nearby worker) and followed the sound.  
  
She entered the practice room and saw her ordered studio piano placed against the wall. The man playing had his back towards her. He wore his construction helmet, jeans, and a dirty white T-shirt dabbled with drywall dust. He was alone in the room and completely absorbed into the piano; he didn't hear her enter. Soon, the sad melody changed to a cheerful tempo. His fingers moved deftly across the keys, and he shook his head with the music.  
  
Sachi stood there and continued to watch, completely captivated. It was like watching Nino play. There was no sense of holding back, restriction, or forced concentration. The man played naturally as if he was one with the piano. The music seemed to flood the room. None of the workers that walked by didn't stop to pay attention, but Sachi caught them smiling in their direction. It wasn't the first time this man played while on the job, but no one complained about it. Sachi closed her eyes and pictured raindrops softly pattering on glass windows. There were dark clouds on the horizon, but occasionally a few streaks of sunlight with peek through. Even within a dark setting, there was still hope...  
  
When the man stopped, Sachi applauded to him. The man jolted in his seat and turned around with wide eyes. He was young, or at least, he looked around Nino's age. Some dirt and grease covered his cheeks and forehead, and sweat matted down his thick hair. But he was handsome.  
  
"That was beautiful," Sachi approached him. "What is your name?"  
  
The man hastily stood up. "...Sakurai Sho."  
  
She held out her hand. "I'm Ninomiya Sachi. Sister to the violinist Ninomiya Kazunari."  
  
"Oh, of course," Sho shook hands with her. "The boss never stopped talking about how we're building for the great Ninomiya. It is a pleasure to meet you."  
  
"Tell me, young man, where did you learn to play like that?"  
  
"What...that?" Sho glanced back at the piano. "I, uh, used to be a part-time piano teacher. But I needed this job...and now I'm working as a construction worker."  
  
Sachi shook her head, pouting, and her eyebrows turned up. "Such talent is wasted. Believe me, I know talent. Are you interested in resuming back to playing the piano?"  
  
The man chuckled and bent over to pick up a large white cloth to cover it over the piano. "I can't go back to teaching. I'm situated where I am, and I'm fine with it." He left the practice room.  
  
"I don't mean teaching," Sachi persisted after Sho. "Clearly, you are skilled in music. How would you like to meet my brother? He is looking for a new piano accompanist, and I'm sure he would love to have you as his-"  
  
"I know about your brother," Sho said, not making eye contact and turning away from her whenever she tried to step in front of him. "He's a genius violin player with autism and has done tours since he was sixteen. I think a professional like him should have a professional pianist. I actually haven't played in nearly three years." Sachi was hot on his tail until he finally turned to face her. "I'm sorry, but I'll pass." And he walked out the front door.  
  
Sachi shadowed him. "How about I invite you over for dinner?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"When our house is finished, come meet my brother. I know you two will talk the same language. Music. You don't have to be his accompanist, but just...hear him play."  
  
"I don't think-"  
  
Sachi cut right in front of him again and glared hard. "I make a  _mean_  pot stew."  
  
As if food was a deciding factor, Sho folded his arms and frowned deeply. He had his eyes closed while groaning and humming to himself for long seconds until he relaxed his shoulders. His expression softened, and he focused back on the older woman in front of him.  
  
"One dinner," he held up his index finger.  
  
She reached for his hands and shook them vigorously. "Thank you, Sakurai! You won't regret it!"  
  
*****  
  
There was a loud banging at Ohno's door that stirred him out of his sleep. His sleepy eyes gazed at the clock and read five minutes after five in the morning. Ohno thought he might have heard things, so his head planted back into his sunken couch pillow.  
  
Someone was now hammering at his door.  
  
Grumbling and cursing under his breath, Ohno forced himself to get up to see who would disturb his sleep. He almost tripped on the paintbrushes littered on the tatami floor, but he regained himself with a blank canvas board. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. When he was about to open the door, he heard a baby crying outside.  
  
Ohno became more awake, and his heart sank as his brain started jogging what that noise meant.  
  
He flung the door open and saw no one outside but a small boy crying inside a large shopping bag.  
  
"No..." Ohno sighed, leaning over to see if he could spot someone exiting down the metal staircase. "No...please...no..."  
  
The boy started crying even louder when his eyes met Ohno's. The child looked to be around two years of age, but his cries still sounded like a baby to the struggling artist. There was no way Ohno could leave him outside or the child will wake up the neighbors. Ohno quickly scooped up the boy into his arms and lifted the shopping bag as well. Ohno closed the door behind him with his foot and carefully made his way into the living room. The child screamed at his ear with eyes rosy red and snot dripping from the nose. Ohno laid the child down on his couch/bed and tried to calm the boy down. But the boy only rolled onto his belly and soaked the cushions with his tears.  
  
"Shhh!" Ohno hushed. "Shhh! Don't cry! Don't cry...please."  
  
"Mama!" The child wailed. "Mama! MAMAAAA!"  
  
Ohno searched through the shopping bag and saw a small amount of baby supplies, but his eyes drew towards a single Post-it note on a bottle. Ohno brought the note close to his face to read it despite the lack of light in the room.  
  
_"Take care of your son.  
\- Minami."_  
  
"Shit!" Ohno hissed and crushed the note in his palm.  
  
The boy's crying sounded painful to Ohno's ears as if he cried over a broken heart. Ohno frantically dug through the bag. There was one toy car, and Ohno brought it out. He made a tired smile at the child and waved the toy car, but the boy knocked the plastic toy out of Ohno's hands and continued to scream.  
  
"Please don't cry," Ohno begged, rubbing the child's back. "Please! Stop crying..."  
  
After an hour, the boy calmed down thanks to Ohno's back rubs, or possibly because he exhausted himself from crying too much. When Ohno was sure the boy cried himself to sleep, Ohno stood up and called his ex-wife.  
  
_"We're sorry. The number you have dialed is unavailable-"_  
  
"What?" Ohno frowned and punched in the numbers again.  
  
_"We're sorry. The number you have dialed-"_  
  
"Why not?!" Ohno murmured angrily.  
  
She had truly abandoned her son to him. Ohno had never met the boy. He left his wife while she was still into her pregnancy. A friend told him she took care of the child even after the incident. Ohno's only knowledge about raising a child was feeding it when it's hungry. But he didn't know what's the right foods for them, how much they eat, how to change diapers, or what to do with them during the rest of their waking hours. Why now did she decided to dump him at Ohno's doorstep?  
  
Ohno slowly walked back to the couch and slumped down on the floor, gazing at the sleeping child. The boy didn't had any resemblance to him, and Ohno had his doubts...  
  
*****  
  
The house was absolutely perfect. They finally had more space, and with their furniture in place, Sachi felt really cozy. Nino didn't show much expression, but she saw how much Nino was enjoying himself as well. He would spend longer minutes in their new shower, and he played his violin even longer in the new practice room. He even took precious time to organize all of his music collection on his new bookshelf. No landlady was there to yell at him to stop, and Sachi didn't have to deal with annoying fans stalking them at night.  
  
But Nino never touched their new piano.  
  
A week passed since they settled in, and Sachi made the call to Sho to invite him for dinner. She told Nino they'll be having a guest over, but her younger brother didn't reply. She hoped it wouldn't be an awkward night. Nino doesn't mind eating out with famous composers, musicians, or other pianists from around the world. And he would maintain conversation when he needed to, but Nino complained to Sachi how he doesn't want to do it again. He generally behaves like a proper gentleman around others. But when visitors come to their home, things could get ugly.  
  
The last time Sachi invited a friend over for dinner, Nino threw a fit and ran to his room. He can not stand new people coming into his space. He hates change to the most minuscule things. Every day, Nino starts his practice at one in the afternoon. Whatever it may be, he'll drop what he's doing and find his violin. His internal clock screams to him to play at precisely one o'clock. One time when they were shopping, Sachi forgot his one o'clock schedule, and he moaned and begged and whined all day like a spoiled child until they got back home.  
  
Sachi prayed that Nino grew out of his fits and will behave tonight.  
  
The doorbell rang.  
  
When Sachi opened the door, her eyebrows jumped up at the sight of a freshly dressed Sho. The image of him dirty and in construction clothes had burned into her mind. Now seeing him in a clean pair of jeans, a polo shirt, combed hair, and boat shoes made him appear like a new person. Sachi could have mistaken him for a scholarly man instead of a construction worker.  
  
"Hello, Sakurai! Come on in," Sachi greeted.  
  
"It's perfectly fine to call me Sho," the man bowed his way in.  
  
"Then you may call me Sachi," she replied. "Let me introduce you to my brother. He's in the living room."  
  
Nino slouched in his seat while watching the television. He didn't look up even as they entered the room. Sachi held her breath for a few seconds until he cleared her throat loudly.  
  
"Nino, our guest is here," Sachi said.  
  
Her brother finally glanced up, but his eyes quickly veered away when he saw Sho. After a while, the young man stood up and approached them with his gaze looking away from Sho.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ninomiya," Sho greeted and held out his hand. "My name is Sakurai Sho."  
  
"...I am Nino."  
  
Sachi nearly gasped as she watched her brother reached out and shook hands. She had never seen her brother shake hands with anyone on their first meet...  
  
No one said a word for a long time. The only sounds came from the TV and game show that continuously played a jingle. Sachi glanced back and forth between Sho and Nino, wondering what was on either of the minds. She spotted Sho glancing at the television for a brief second before he puffed up his chest.  
  
"So," Sho spoke up at last and rubbing his hands, "where's that  _mean_  pot stew you mentioned?"  
  
Throughout dinner, Nino never spoke a word. He would nibble at his rice, occasionally look off to the side and be fixated at the pepper shaker, then resume back to eating. Sho, on the other hand, spoke softly and never raised his voice. It must be why Nino didn't seem as jittery as before whenever Sachi brought over a guest. When they had dinner with Dimitri for the first time, he was loud and obnoxious. Nino frowned throughout that time. But now, Nino looked calm and comfortable but bored. Sho would even try to bring Nino into the conversation.  
  
"I'm glad the house turned out the way you wanted it," Sho smiled. "I took a certain liking to the practice room. How has it been doing for you, Nino?"  
  
Nino didn't make eye contact as he answered bluntly. "It's fine."  
  
"I see," Sho nodded, not looking offended at all.  
  
_"How gentle,"_  Sachi thought.  
  
Her eyes continued to flick back and forth between the two. In all her years caring for her brother, she had never seen Nino looked so relaxed since meeting a new stranger in their home. Usually after five minutes, Nino would rush to his room and drown them out with his violin. Or if they were at a public gathering, Nino would start frowning deeply. But this time he stayed at the dinner table as if the change didn't bother him at all.  
  
"So...N-nino," Sho spoke again, "...uh, it is really alright if I call you Nino?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay...Nino...may I ask what made you to decide to play the violin?"  
  
Nino chewed his piece of meat slowly before answering. "I like string music. I can play any set."  
  
"Set?"  
  
Sachi interrupted. "He means the music pieces. Like the combination of notes. Nino is left-handed. So he's able to move his fingers faster on the violin."  
  
The former piano player nodded. "Oh."  
  
"He was six when he first played the violin," Sachi continued, her stomach now fluttering with pride. "He listened to one of my Beethoven CDs once, and he already memorized it."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"I was so shocked when I found out he could do that," Sachi grinned. "Since then, I've been managing all of his performances."  
  
"You two are especially close, huh?" Sho said, turning his gaze back at Nino. "If you don't mind, I would like to see Nino's gift in action."  
  
"Ah, sure! Why not?" Sachi said, standing up. "I'll take your plates away."  
  
Nino immediately stood up as well and walked down the hall towards the practice room. Sachi quickly placed the dirty dishes in the sink before following them. Nino already had his violin out as if he couldn't wait to start playing. Sachi leaned against the wall and watched her brother carefully wipe down his instrument. Sho sat down on the piano bench and watched; his brows slightly raised with fascination. Nino placed the violin on his shoulder and began fine tuning as part of his routine.  
  
Finally, Nino started playing. It was a cheerful and carefree tone, light and airy. That's when Sachi recognized it as the jingle from the television. Sho's eyes widen and his mouth was slightly slack-jawed in awe. Nino continued to play the same tune over and over until it changed. Nino started adding new notes into the jingle. The song became more complicated and tricky, yet it still maintained its cheerful melody. There were no hiccups, no fumbling of his fingers, and not once was it practiced prior. Nino created his own rendition of the jingle right before their very eyes.  
  
When Nino stopped, and Sachi was about to applaud when she heard a note rang from the piano. Sho turned to face the studio piano and played with his right hand. Sho echoed the jingle in its simplest form. Nino lowered his violin and watched Sho. Sachi was sure she saw dog ears pricked up on her brother's head; she covered her mouth to hide her amusement. The pianist continued to play the same melody with his right hand. He also had the gift of playing by ear, but the jingle was so simple, even Sachi was sure she could get it after a few tries.  
  
Then, Nino approached Sho and sat down next to him on the bench. Sachi's heart pounded against her chest as she watched her brother lean close to watch Sho's hand. The older man didn't seem to mind Nino's closeness, but he pointed at Nino to place his hand on the piano as well.  
  
"Watch how my fingers move," Sho said gently.  
  
Sho plucked the same notes, and Nino watched intensely. For years, Nino had never touched any instrument other than the violin. Even though Nino collected music books of other instruments, he was completely bias to his violin. Sachi bought the new piano so she could hire a pianist to visit them instead of having to commute Nino frequently to a studio. Her brother had always made a fuss about not wanting to leave the house to meet with his accompanist. And no doubt, the trouble to travel back and forth everyday gave Sachi headaches.  
  
She could see this was a good investment. Nino instantly taken an interest in Sho's playing. With his right hand, Nino copied Sho's movements until he played faster and faster. Nino leaned down so close to the keys, Sachi worried he'll have back and neck pains the next morning. Then, Sho lifted his left hand and played a new set of notes. Nino immediately stopped and watched Sho play with both hands. It wasn't as intricate as Nino's solo creation, but the simple harmony chord worked just as well to the main melody.  
  
Nino shook his head and grabbed his hair, groaning. Playing music notes with two hands was something he never done before. With his violin, his left hand controlled the notes. His bow arm was only a means of articulation and amplification to resonate his music. For Nino, it wasn't the same. Sho backed his hands away from the piano when he sensed Nino's distress.  
  
"I'm sorry," Sho said. "Do you want me to play slower?"  
  
"Yes, play slower."  
  
Sho lowered his left hand and played the harmony part. Nino spend a longer time watching and listening to the harmony than the melody. Sachi was absolutely fascinated with Sho's patience and sensitivity. He never touched Nino, only pointed where Nino should place his fingers on the keys. He never raised his voice when Nino struggled to play three notes at a time for the harmony. Sachi saw a wonderful piano instructor.  
  
_"Why did he quit?"_  
  
After a couple of tries, Nino finally played with two hands. But he still played the melody hand a lot faster than his harmony hand. Nino groaned even louder as soon as he heard the music beginning to sound mismatched.  
  
"I can't play this," Nino dropped his hands to his lap. "I hear it, but why can't I play it?"  
  
"You're focusing too much on your violin part," Sho spoke at last. "Your right hand is like your violin. The left hand is me...the piano part."  
  
Nino made eye contact with Sho for the first time. "You're playing the piano part?"  
  
"Think of it like your concerts," Sho explained. "Your piano accompanist is your harmony. If you don't listen to the harmony, the melody will sound distorted." Sho placed his hands on the keys again. "The right hand is the melody. The violin part. The left hand is the harmony or the piano part." Sho played the jingle one last time and smiled at Nino. "Only when they work together, do they sound right."  
  
"I...I understand," Nino nodded to himself. "I mean, I know because I play the violin. It makes sense to me, and I do understand the importance of harmony. But I'm more focused on my violin that I don't always listen to the piano. That's why I couldn't do it...will you help me?"  
  
Sho blinked a few times, and his smile slowly faded. "Help you play the piano?"  
  
"Help me understand the harmony better," Nino said. "I need to know these sets."  
  
"Yes, please," Sachi approached them. "Please be Nino's piano accompanist." And she bowed.  
  
Sho stood up, shaking his head and hands at them. "I'm sorry, I-I can't. I mean, uh, it's just-"  
  
"I'm willing to pay more than your construction job," Sachi raised her head. "If you want, I'll even cook for you to come and spend more time with Nino."  
  
The man still didn't look convinced. "No, I-I'm sorry."  
  
Sho hurried his way out the practice room, but Sachi went after him. Nino remained behind and staring down at the piano. Sho was already outside, but Sachi called out to him at the front door.  
  
"Wait! Please reconsider. Nino has never been open to strangers but you! He's not bothered by you, and neither am I. Will you think about it at least?"  
  
The man's shoulders seemed more droopy than usual. Sho sighed heavily and turned to face her. There was such sadness in his eyes, Sachi could almost feel his pain.  
  
"I can't go back to teaching," Sho murmured. "I shouldn't be playing the piano again."  
  
"Sho? What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean...you wouldn't want me around if you knew about me."  
  
"Why?" Sachi narrowed her eyes. "Have you...commit some crime? Are you a robber?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Did you killed someone?"  
  
"Of course, not!"  
  
Sachi placed her hands on her hips. "Sho, when I said I'm willing to pay you more than your construction job, I meant it. I am serious about this. I want you to work with Nino. I am hiring you, so at least tell me the reason why won't you accept my offer?"  
  
Sho sighed, dropping his gaze and twiddling with his wristwatch. "I...I'm a sex offender."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, so much for mysterious past XD
> 
> so you see what i mean when i said that sakumiya is the main story even though there a multiple stories happening. for now, it may seem like the other characters are having their own separate stories. but later on, they will all mingle and come together more or less. i got inspired by the game of thrones books and how the author character hops each chapter. (though i won't do as many characters as martin does XD). aiba will make his appearance in the next update
> 
> also, you might have figured it out, but ninomiya sachi is my own fictional character. since i know next to nothing to nino's real sister, i'm making up my own. she's a good 10 years older than nino. (instead of rl sister. i think she's 2 years older). also, why is sachi, a ninomiya, calling her brother nino? i read somewhere that nino said even his family calls him nino? frankly it's easier to write this way XD
> 
> so about nino. i made him a savant with autism. and because autism has such a broad range of behaviors, i'm not really going to specify his abilities and limits here. i'll let the story unfold all that :3
> 
> so i hope you'll enjoy it!


	2. Allegro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! a new chapter here! i should have mentioned this in the first chapter, but there will be mentions of depression and anxiety (as part of mental illnesses tag, so please keep this in mind). i'm posting earlier than i expected, i thought i make it in the weekend. turns out i updated earlier. yay!  
> For this chapter, i recommend listen to this piece >> Mozart: Violin Concerto No. 5 in A Major, I. Adagio - Allegro aperto - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN5dJwYuY30  
> Enjoy!

Aiba heard the children playing outside from his open window. It was a crisp beautiful day for September, and Aiba wished he could join them in their fun. His office space smelled too much of prescription forms and rubbing alcohol. Obnoxious health charts plastered the white walls and made Aiba itching to have a breather outside, but he had appointments scheduled. The facility hardly lets Aiba have a day off since he was one of the few doctors who works closely with the pediatrics ward. At least today, he'll be seeing an old friend...  
  
He heard a knock on his door. "Come in."  
  
Sachi and her brother, Nino, entered the room. "Hello, Aiba! Long time no see."  
  
"Hello, Sachi," Aiba grinned standing up from his chair. "And Nino! So good to see you."  
  
After the older sister gave him a hug, Aiba waited for Nino to extend his hand out before Aiba shook it. They were Aiba's first patients when he got his degree in neurology. Their beginnings were shaky since Nino was busy with his touring. Back then, Nino wouldn't respond back to Aiba's speech exercises until finally Nino grew comfortable around Aiba's smile. Now, they were good friends, and Aiba found Sachi to be a sweet woman. He almost considered her like an older sister of his own.  
  
"Back from Europe, I see," Aiba said as he sat back down. "How was it, Nino?"  
  
"It was cramped," Nino commented. "It always rained, and most of the food was terrible. It was filthy and still chilly despite being summer. It was really crummy and cramped. I didn't like the food. But lots of famous musicians though."  
  
"Well, that's good," Aiba smiled, leaning forward in his chair. "Did you enjoy their performance?"  
  
Nino made a smug face. "Of course not! They call themselves musicians, but they're more like elementary students. The concerts I attended were awful! That Pierre-whoever couldn't get to the fifth position to save his life. He was completely out of tune. I had to cover my ears just to get through the concert because Sachi wouldn't let me go." Aiba couldn't hold back his giggle as he watched Nino shake his head in utter disappointment from the memory. "You should have heard it, Aiba. The man had no business in music. I could've played it way better, and I did!"  
  
"Now, let's not start bragging," Sachi said, rolling her eyes with a smirk.  
  
Aiba knew that look. Whenever Nino gets heated in a topic, there could be no stopping the man. Music was Nino's passion. His life. His art. And Nino loved nothing more than to talk about music and play the violin. Ever since Aiba became good friends with the autisic savant, he realized Nino was quite the chatter bug.  
  
"It's the truth," Nino continued ranting. "I'm telling you, Aiba. There is a significant difference between a harmonic and just playing a high note. And this guy is so blatantly stupid in thinking he could get away with just playing a higher note instead of the needed harmonic. It's infuriating! It sounded so terrible, even a three-year-old could notice! But that's not the only problem. The technicalities are only part of playing the violin, and I couldn't believe the amount of deaf-tone musicians who claimed themselves to be famous musicians as the best of Europe. There is only one deaf musician whom I'll accept and that's Beethoven. I was  _so_  mad, I ended up eating a lot of bread back at my hotel."  
  
"You need to eat more vegetables," Aiba teased. "Remember the last time I told you? A healthy diet will help you make better music."  
  
"I eat my vegetables. I make new music everyday," Nino pouted playfully once he finished his rant.  
  
"Oh, I would love to hear it again," Aiba grinned before turning his attention to Sachi. "Have you received the concert request? The administrators really want to push this forward to raise funds for the pediatrics department. It even got my vote."  
  
"I have," Sachi nodded, "but we're short a pianist."  
  
"Sho is playing the piano," Nino said, matter-of-factly. "He plays the piano very well, so he'll play for me."  
  
"He didn't say yes, Nino," Sachi reminded him.  
  
"Sho will play the piano," Nino repeated but more heatedly. "He knows how to play the piano like how I play the violin, and I don't want anyone else."  
  
"He doesn't want to play."  
  
"Sho  _will_  play!"  
  
Aiba remained silent throughout the harmless family banter, but his focus was on Nino. Even though his arguments were the same, Nino projected his voice louder than usual. Sachi has clearly been through the same debate with him before, but Aiba found Nino's behavior interesting. The autistic savant hardly talked so passionately about someone other than failed musicians, which eventually turned into the topic about music again. It was the first time Aiba heard Nino talking about something other than music...  
  
At that moment, a nurse walked in.  
  
"Hi, Yuka," Sachi looked up to ignore Nino's rants.  
  
"Hello, Sachi. It's good to see you," Yuka smiled warmly at them. "If you don't mind, I would like to take Nino for his therapy."  
  
"I don't need it," Nino complained, but he still stood up.  
  
"We're working on management skills, remember?" Yuka continued to smile and escorted Nino out of the office. Aiba could faintly hear Nino telling Yuka about Sho the piano player.  
  
Sachi left out her breath and gazed back at Aiba. "I need this new pianist."  
  
"I sensed that," Aiba said, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his chin. "Who is this person that Nino is so interested in?"  
  
"I met him as a construction worker. Sho used to play the piano until..." Sachi paused. Her brows slightly scrunched up from a bitter memory. "Well...he has his reasons about not wanting to be around others, but I want to trust him. I have tried calling him and offered better payment to come on board, but the man is dead set on leaving my sights." Sachi shook her head in pity. "He's perfect, Aiba. He's completely considerate around Nino. I don't know what to do."  
  
"It sounds like the man won't be motivated by money," Aiba said critically, tapping his temple to stimulate his thinking process. "And I can't help but notice the way Nino chatted with you about him. Did you detected it?"  
  
"Yes, I have," Sachi said. "They've played together once, and something just...clicked for them. I don't know why Sho wouldn't want to work with Nino. They have so much potential."  
  
Aiba stopped tapping his head when a new idea came to mind. "Perhaps you should let Nino approach Sho. If they already understand each other musically, surely Nino can convince him."  
  
"Nino?" Sachi frowned. "But he doesn't know how to do negotiations. I've always handle the arrangements. He can barely calculate the amount of change to give to a cashier."  
  
Aiba leaned forward again with his elbows resting on his knees. "But think how this can affect Nino positively. No doubt, Nino prefers a life of peace and solitude. But he needs to develop more relationships with others. The more he is around others, the more he'll grow used to interacting."  
  
Sachi shook her head in disagreement. "Nino never wants to interact with others unless they know music as much as he does. When we were on the Europe tour, he never spoke a word to anyone."  
  
"You need to trust Nino more," Aiba sighed. "He can't grow if you are there to hold his hand."  
  
"But...but he needs me!"  
  
"He needs Sho," Aiba said firmly. "He needs other people."  
  
Sachi had her mouth opened ready for another comeback, but nothing came out. Aiba hasn't been their neurologist and counselor for a long time, but according to the records, Sachi has taken Nino for social therapy on a daily basis. She wanted Nino to be more independent, but Sachi was being too protective. And as Nino's doctor, Aiba hoped to see the day when Nino would visit his office alone instead of being escorted by Sachi.  
  
Whoever this Sho is, the man is key to Nino's development.  
  
Aiba reached for his pen and notepad. "I have another suggestion," Aiba started scribbling an address. "Aside from our main concert next year, the administrators are also planning seasonal recitals for other participants wanting to help our cause." Aiba handed her the note. "If Nino wants to participate as well, you can invite Sho to visit."  
  
Sachi glanced at the note before staring back at the doctor. "But the pianist-"  
  
"A college student will be provided for the recitals," Aiba reassured her. "Nino can play Beethoven pitch perfect, right? Just one piece. Let Sho watch Nino perform and see if that doesn't convince him to work with Nino."  
  
"I'll...I'll try," Sachi said and pocketed the note in her bag. "Thank you, Aiba. I can always count on you to know what is the best course for Nino. He must be a very special patient for you."  
  
Aiba chuckled. "I've come to see Nino more as a friend now."  
  
Sachi smiled at him and excused herself to find Nino. Aiba set his pen down and glanced back out the window. Out of all his patients, Aiba was especially fond of Nino and his special gift. He had a fascination towards savants while he was in medical school. Even through all the agonizing studying and painstaking hours put into his work, it was a miracle that Nino became his patient. But it took them great lengths to be on talking terms. They had so little in common to talk about. Aiba had tried everything he learned from the books, but Nino never responded back.  
  
Until he found the answer to Nino's mind.  
  
Aiba pulled the handle of his desk drawers. Stashed away in the corner under stacks of papers, Aiba kept his trusty harmonica. He picked up the silver instrument and brought it to his lips. When Nino first heard him play a tune, Nino went nuts. He immediately took the instrument into his own hands, but coordinating his breaths while covering the finger holes was a difficult challenge for him. Nino wasn't the wind instrumentalist type. So in the end, he asked Aiba to play for him. He later played the notes perfectly on his violin, and they carried on through the rest of that session with melodic sounds. Aiba would never forget that day. Music was the language Nino understood best. And if Sho is gifted in music as well, then they'll grow an even deeper bond. Aiba just knew it.  
  
The clock continued to tick on Aiba's wall, and he made his daily rounds and appointments. The sky slowly turned into a warm shade of orange, and the sounds of the children from the yard slowly disappeared. As he sat down at his desk to finish up the last of his reports, the atmosphere in his office became lonely. Aiba glanced at the clock and stretched long enough to feel the sweet soreness in his muscles. Outside in the distance, he heard a bird cawing at the final hour of sunset. His shift was over.  
  
Yuka came back to his office wearing her outdoor jacket.  
  
"Shall we go?" Yuka asked, her voice soft and melancholy.  
  
Aiba nodded and stood up to change out of his white coat. A bundle of white flowers waited for him on his spare table, and he picked them up to admire them one last time. He purposely got up early in the morning to buy the bouquet because the flower shop would have been closed by the time their shift ended. And the white flowers symbolized the ideal setting and message.  
  
Aiba glanced at his calendar before leaving with his wife and the flowers. Today was the anniversary...  
  
*****  
  
Sho chewed on his slightly-burnt-self-made omelet when his boss sat down across from him at the table.  
  
"Is it true?!" He exclaimed. "You ate dinner at Ninomiya's house?!"  
  
Sho swallowed loudly before speaking. "Uh, yeah. I did."  
  
"And you didn't invite me or my daughters?!" His boss roared out louder. His eyes grew round, and his brows rose up into a high upside V. "You always keep your best secrets."  
  
"Sorry, Boss," Sho snickered behind his hands while his silly manager flailed about on the table. The man continued to praise his offsprings while Sho resumed back to his poorly made lunch.  
  
The night at Ninomiya's place ended on an awkward note. The absolute shock and horrified expression on Sachi's face made Sho regret the words he said back then. Of all the things he had to say before he left, he had to confess about his criminal status. Anything would have been better, but he hated lying to himself. If anyone ever came close to him, they should know the truth. He started working at the construction job less than six months ago, and only his boss and the HR staff knew about his criminal record. Sho was grateful none of his co-workers asked any questions; remembering the past always brought up a foul taste to his mouth.  
  
Sho coughed. "Damn..."  
  
He only ate two-thirds of his lousy lunch before he closed the lid. His break wasn't over for another thirty minutes. With no appetite and feeling downhearted because of old memories, he retreated to the locker room.  
  
Sho reached for his cell phone before walking outside and finding a private place to sit down. He scrolled through his phone book and skimming through all his old contacts. Majority of them either never picked up his calls or even answered back from his messages. Finally, he found the one person who was willing to listen to him. Sho pressed the call button and waited for the other person to pick up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mom? It's me."  
  
"Ah, Sho," his mother said. He heard her smiling through the phone. "This is a surprise. Shouldn't you be working?"  
  
"I'm on break," Sho said. "I didn't felt hungry, so I called you."  
  
"Not hungry? That doesn't sound like you? Is everythi-" she coughed. "Is everything alright?"  
  
"I'm just...uh..." Sho wiped the inner corner of his eye, "I'm just tired." He heard her coughing some more. "But you don't sound so well."

"Oh, it's just dust caught in my lungs," she wheezed before clearing her throat. "If you want, I can cook dinner for you since you hardly come ove-"  
  
She started hacking deep throaty coughs, and Sho began to frown. "Mom, are you really alright?"  
  
"I'm...I'm fine," she gasped. "That was a surprise. I really need to clean this place up."  
  
But Sho wasn't buying it. "I'll come over to check."  
  
"Sho, I am fine," she said a little firmer. "What you need to worry about is yourself. I am very worried about you. That construction job won't last you for long. And when will you get married?"  
  
He chuckled quietly. "Not this again, Mom. I told you already. There is no way I'll ever get married after everything that's happened."  
  
"You'll find the right person, I know it," she said. "Just remember that you are a good person who wants to be loved. There is someone out there who needs you, and they will love you for it. When you do find that person, be sure to call me, okay?"  
  
"Mom, I work at a place that is ninety-nine percent male. I won't find someone any time soon."  
  
"No? Do you remember when you where in second grade? You came back home, jumping up and down, telling me how you were in love with a boy."  
  
Sho felt himself blushing. "Mom, that was years ago!"  
  
"Well, I thought it was cute. And you can't hide things from your mother," she snickered before letting out a wicked laugh. "Just so you know, if you find a sweet girl or boy, I will still love you."  
  
"Mom, please!" Sho glanced over his shoulder. "I called you so I could feel better, but you're making me feel even worse!"  
  
She laughed harder. "I'm embarrassing you? Well then, I'm not sorry! But I'm serious. No matter what happens to you, or what you do, I love you."  
  
Sho sucked in his lips to prevent himself from grinning idiotically. The guilty feelings of his past slowly faded away...  
  
"Sho!" Someone called out to him. "We're called back!"  
  
"Sorry, Mom. I gotta go. Love you too."  
  
*****

Kenta cried again, and he turned his head away from the spoonful of curry. Ohno groaned out loud and put the plate away. More than a month have passed since Kenta was left at Ohno's doorstep, and Ohno has not found a way to stop his son from crying all day and night. Ohno hasn't slept a good night's rest in weeks. His son wouldn't stop crying about his mother, the lousy food, spoiled diapers, loud neighbors, and overall being around a stranger. And the poor two-year-old only knew a few words to express his pain.  
  
"Please eat, Kenta," Ohno begged as he brought the spoon back to the child's mouth. "You haven't eaten lunch or breakfast."  
  
"NO!" Kenta screamed, and knocked the spoon clear off Ohno's hand.  
  
"Hey!" Ohno shouted back. "Stop it! Now!"  
  
Kenta continued to babble out more gibberish words—snot and spit dripped from his nose and lips—and cried some more until his eyelids turned bright red. Ohno sighed heavily and bent over to pick up the spoon. Ohno pushed his poor uneaten curry aside and went back into the kitchen. He opened the cabinet and pulled out a box of rice crackers and a jar of peanut butter. Kenta saw the cracker box, and his wails slowly subsided. With a butter knife, Ohno smeared a thin amount of peanut butter on the thick rice cracker and handed it to his son.  
  
The small child greedily reached out for the only food he'll eat and munched on the cracker.  
  
"This is no good," Ohno mumbled to himself. "How am I going to feed you?"  
  
Ohno kept handing the child peanut butter covered rice crackers until Kenta got bored. After Ohno gave Kenta a drink of water, Ohno carried him back to the living space and turned on the television. Kenta's eyes immediately glued to the anime set at a low volume, and Ohno returned to the kitchen to clean up. Before, Ohno's living room was clustered with his art supplies but that was when he lived a single life. Now, the paintbrushes were replaced with children clothes, specks of baby powder, and crumbled up tissue paper. Ohno put away all his paints, canvases, and brushes in fear that Kenta might eat them.  
  
But aside from taking care of his son, Ohno has tried reaching to Minami non-stop. He tried calling her parents to see if they knew anything, but they were just as clueless.  
  
"She left on us too," Minami's mother answered him. "The last I've heard of her was when she told us she was going to have her divorce."  
  
Her parents lived too far away for Ohno to drop off Kenta, and Ohno didn't have the heart to leave Kenta at an orphanage. So he contacted his mother who helped him with all the necessary supplies.  
  
"Satoshi, you must take responsibility for this child," his mother told him. "That woman has caused you nothing but trouble. Kenta is now relying on you to be his family. Don't ever abandoned him. Do you understand? You are all he has left!"  
  
It didn't help lift the burden off his shoulders. Ohno had never changed diapers before, and he found it revolting. When his mother came over, she yelled at him for not properly cleaning Kenta. At one point, Ohno got so tired of Kenta's night screaming, he wanted to slap him. Instead, Ohno cradled him all night long until the sun came up. But during the day, Ohno barely had the energy to make food for them. At least his landlord understood Ohno's troubles, but that didn't meant the neighbors appreciated the child's night cries.  
  
In the month since they've been together, Ohno bought Kenta new toy cars. However, Ohno noticed the why Kenta held the toy cars close to his eyes and shook them repetitively. Ohno frowned and watched his son shake his head and wave the car in a particular movement. It didn't look right. Ohno assumed it was only that one time, but Kenta would continue playing the same form every time. He wanted to ignore it, but his mother told him otherwise.  
  
Suddenly, Ohno heard a loud crashing noise behind him, and he whirled around. Kenta returned to the kitchen and tried to get more rice crackers from the box. But in his attempt to grab it, the box fell over and the crackers scattered across the kitchen floor and on the tatami.  
  
"Kenta!" Ohno yelled. "What are you doing?!"  
  
The boy continued to munch on his cracker before running back to the television. Ohno groaned out loud and picked up the crackers. He'll have to buy a new box anyway. He cleared away the bigger pieces, but there were still tiny crumbs everywhere. Ohno dug through his closet found his old vacuum cleaner. It took a couple of angry shakes before the machine finally turned on.  
  
At the instant the vacuum made its loud noise, Kenta started crying. Ohno glanced back and saw Kenta's red face. He dropped his rice cracker and covered his ears tightly.  
  
"Kenta, it's not that bad," Ohno spoke over the vacuum noise and continued to clean up the mess.  
  
But the boy cried desperately as if it was the worst noise in the world. Ohno admitted the vacuum was outdated and noisy. Ohno glanced back at his son just in time to see him running away into the bathroom: the farthest place from where the noise could be heard. Kenta closed the door behind him and continued to scream in the bathroom. Ohno's frown deepened as he continued to finish the job.  
  
That was new. Kenta never behaved like that before. And even as Ohno turned off the machine, he could still hear Kenta's screams as if the little boy hoped he could drown out the noise himself. Ohno opened the bathroom door and found Kenta crouching inside the tub with his hands still covering his ears. The boy had pure fear in his eyes.  
  
Ohno kneeled down. "It's okay, Kenta. It's over. The vacuum is turned off."  
  
But Kenta still cried out nonsense words until more snot ran down his nose. Ohno wished he knew what the boy was saying, but Ohno assumed his son had a fear of vacuums.  
  
Ohno picked up Kenta. "Come on. I'll show you it's-"  
  
Suddenly, Kenta put all his strength to get out of Ohno's arms.  
  
"K-kenta! Stop!"  
  
"No! Noooo!"  
  
Ohno held him tighter and carried him back into the living room. "See! The vacuum is off."  
  
But the little escapist slithered his way down from Ohno's grip and ran back into the bathroom. His hand still covered his ears. Ohno shook his head and placed his hands on hips, speculating the scene. He decided to put away the vacuum and bring out Kenta's toy cars. Maybe the sight of the machine also scared the boy.  
  
Ohno returned to the bathroom and picked up the crying child again. Kenta tried to escape, but Ohno managed to hold him tighter and brought him back to his toys.  
  
"Look, Kenta," Ohno sighed. "The vacuum is gone now. Your toys are here."  
  
Kenta's crying gradually subsided, but his face was a wet mess. Ohno reached for a towel resting on the couch arm, and he wiped around the Kenta's face. The boy still kept his hands to his ears.  
  
_"What is wrong with him?"_  Ohno thought.  
  
Kenta was different. And Ohno couldn't help but feel this might be the real reason Minami left her son to him...  
  
*****  
  
"It's only one session," Sachi said through the phone one October afternoon. "I would like for you to hear Nino perform."  
  
"I've seen it," Sho replied. "That time in the practice room was more than enough to tell me that Nino is talented. I don't need anymore persuasion of that fact."  
  
"That was without a piano accompaniment," Sachi pointed out. "Nino will be performing a piece for the closing hour. I want you to see how Nino plays in front of a live audience. It is completely different than the practice room."  
  
She could hear Sho groaning annoyingly at the other end. "I don't understand why you're so persistent in hiring me, Sachi! Aren't you afraid what...what I'm capable of or what I might do?! Did you forget what I told you that night?"  
  
"I remember," she uttered, her brow furrowed slightly. "Let me ask you this...do you still want to commit the same crime?"  
  
"...even if I said no, you still wouldn't trust me."  
  
Sachi rolled her eyes. "Yes, I would!" She shouted over the phone. "What I saw in that room were two men who both have a passion for music! Not some sex predator that was ready to pounce on anyone in that room! You were even playing the piano when you were supposed to be dry walling the room! You love to play, Sho! I can hear it in your music! That is what you want to do again. Not another sex crime!"  
  
"...."  
  
"Please come to Nino's recital. I'll wait for your answer," and she hung up.  
  
Her hand was still on the receiver as she replayed her own words in her head. She wanted to ask questions about what happened, but she was afraid the information will only cloud her judgement for turning away a talented pianist. Sachi truly wanted Sho to work with her brother. If Sho finally decides to come on board, Sachi can ask for a full background check then. But if he doesn't take their offer, Sachi wouldn't hold it against him anymore.

  
Nino, on the other hand, was convinced that Sho would play his piano every day. Sachi reminded him that the pianist for the recital will be played by another person. Nino nodded but continued to speak only of Sho's music.  
  
Two weeks passed since Sachi took Aiba's advice. The first recital was packed with children health advocates, locals, musical students, and fans of Nino. When word got out that Nino will attend for the first recital, Sachi received a wave of calls requesting Nino to perform at other hospitals and schools. Fortunately, Sachi was used to this behavior and turned them down. She made up the excuse that Nino will perform this one time as a kickstarter before the main concert. Nino doesn't say it, but the Europe tour took a toll on him. And Sachi made sure he'll be well-rested before he takes on another concert.  
  
She waited in the back with Nino until someone would call them. Earlier, Sachi spotted the audience from behind the curtains and saw the whole auditorium packed, but it was hard to tell Sho from the crowd. She wanted to know if he had arrived yet, but she couldn't leave Nino until he was next to perform.  
  
Finally, someone with a headset and a tablet entered their room. "Ninomiya Kazunari? You're up next."  
  
Nino knew what to do from here. Sachi gave him a pat on the shoulder and headed for the seats. As the curtains pulled down, and the audience began to buzz. This was the last song, and the anticipation spread throughout the theater. Sachi searched for a seat when she saw someone standing up and waving enthusiastically at her. At first, she thought it was Sho, but when she came closer, she recognize the face.  
  
"Kiko!" Sachi whispered excitedly.  
  
The young retired model kept her arms up to greet Sachi with a hug. "I saved you a seat."  
  
"I shouldn't be surprised to see you here," Sachi said. "You have always been following Nino's performances. Oh, hello Jun."  
  
As Sachi sat down, Jun reached over to shake hands. "Kiko wouldn't stop pestering me about coming to see Nino perform. She's still upset she couldn't go to the Europe tour."  
  
Kiko pouted. "I've made a solemn vow as a fan to attend Nino's concerts whenever I can." She rubbed her belly. "And I will make sure my child will be properly educated with good music."  
  
But Sachi's jaw drop at the word "child."  
  
"Kiko, you're pregnant?!"  
  
"Two months," Jun replied with a grin.  
  
"Congratulations!"  
  
"Shh! It's starting," Kiko interrupted them both and clapped loudly as the curtains rose.  
  
Nino walked out on stage and took place next to the grand piano. The fans cheered and applauded—Kiko might have been the loudest. When he bowed, the audience grew quiet. Nino raised his violin to his chin, and the air was thick in its silence. Nino inhaled sharply and played the first note. Out of all the other performers, Nino's music rang out the clearest. Sachi could hear the audience gasp at the sudden energy, but then Nino played softly and the audience leaned forward.  
  
This was Nino's magic: captivating the listeners. Whether it was through CDs, on the radio, or live, everyone would almost always stop to listen. Next to her, Sachi could see Kiko clasping her hands together, sitting on the edge of her seat, and smiling with admiration. Sachi wanted to tip her hat to Jun for having so much patience for his wife. Kiko had been to every Nino concert in Japan, and her presence caught Sachi's attention. In the end, Kiko was one of the few lucky people to be friends with Nino.  
  
Suddenly, Sachi heard someone open the exit doors behind them. Thankfully, the hallway light didn't disturb the performance, but it annoyed Sachi that they would allow someone to walk in right in the middle of a recital. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Sho standing in the back while still wearing his construction clothes. Sachi's heart leaped with joy, and she quickly turned back to Nino.  
  
_"He came!"_  
  
And right when Nino reached the climax of the piece. Sachi watched the female pianist struggling to keep up with Nino's tempo, but everyone's eyes were on the violinist. The lights were too bright and a light damp of sweat shined on Nino's forehead, but the man continued to play with all his heart. His eyes were always closed, and he turned his left ear towards his violin. Then, his fingers became a frantic blur. His gelled hair bounced to the rapid movements of his bow arm. The music swelled and swelled. Suddenly, Nino stopped and everyone held their breath.  
  
At long last, he played the final note in a long, slow, somber vibrato. A single pin drop could be heard, but soon the audience exploded and gave a standing ovation. Kiko was the fastest to stand up; her hands looked like they were about to fall off from clapping together so hard. The pianist stood up with Nino, and they bowed before the curtains came to a close.  
  
"Oh, it was everything I imagined it would be!" Kiko expressed with glee. "Even though it was only a recital, he truly captured the essence of that one single piece. A true genius!"  
  
"You should marry him," Jun teased. Kiko lightly punched his shoulder.  
  
Sachi glanced back at Sho and saw him still standing in the same place. She excused herself through the row of seats and met Sho at the back.  
  
"S-sachi," Sho gasped. "I...that...Nino-"  
  
"Come with me," Sachi said and showed him to the backstage where Nino waited for her.  
  
As usual, Nino had his head down and cleaned his violin from the build up rosin.  
  
"Nino, there's someone here to see you."  
  
The violinist still didn't look up. He inclined his head to the side a bit with his eyes were still on his violin. Sachi and Sho both waited until Nino packed away his instrument. When the genius savant finally raised his eyes to them, he focused on the former pianist.  
  
"Sho," Nino greeted. "You'll play the piano now, right?"  
  
The construction worker only swallowed.  
  
"You have to," Nino continued. "Because you're good at it like I am with my violin. You'll play the piano, and I'll play the violin."  
  
"Y-yes, that's right. I know how to play," Sho said, rubbing the back of his neck and his eyes cast down.  
  
"Did you hear me perform?" Nino asked, looking eager to talking about music again. "While I was playing, the piano part sounded different. It was obvious because you weren't playing the accompaniment."  
  
"N-no...I wasn't."  
  
"But Sho could play it better. You're really good at it."  
  
"...Nino, I'm...I'm not-"  
  
"Play the piano this time," Nino said, plainly as if the matter was already decided by himself. "Sho will play the piano for my next performance."  
  
Nino's lack of expression gave Sachi the urge to step up and put in her words for more persuasion, but she held her tongue. At this point, it was truly up to Sho if he wanted to join him. But Sachi could see Nino was struggling to find the right words to convince Sho to stay. Sachi always knew Nino had a hard time socializing unless it was about music. Negotiation was a difficult task for him.  
  
Then, Sho turned around and passed Sachi without a second glance. Her once tensed shoulders slowly sagged just as her heart did.  
  
Nino spoke. "You're my left hand."  
  
Sho stilled his hand at the doorknob.  
  
"You are the harmony," Nino continued, scratching his head and forcing the words out of himself. "You are the left hand, and I am...I'm the right. I need both hands...the piano and violin...I need both. I need to know these sets. Teach me to play the piano. Please stay!"  
  
Sachi heard a quiet sob from the former pianist, and Sho glanced back with a sympathetic look. At that moment, Sachi knew the answer. Aiba was right. The man wouldn't be convinced by the amount of money she offered him. Whatever Sho had gone through, he lost the one thing he loved most. Music. Because of his crime, he couldn't go back to being around others. He couldn't teach or play the piano around others ever again. No one trusted him.  
  
But Nino trusted Sho. They can understand each other through their music.  
  
Sho turned away from the door and glanced back at Sachi. Neither of them said a word, but Sachi could read it on his face. He will accept their offer. Sho approached Nino and nervously wiped his hands against the back of his jeans.  
  
"Well then, I guess I'll play the piano," Sho nodded, "for you...Nino."  
  
Sho reached his hand out and they both shook hands.  
  
Sachi could almost cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you see! the other characters do have connection with each other :3  
> see you in the next update!


	3. Decrescendo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ack! i'm so sorry AO3 readers. i keep forgetting to update here as well (i update my fics on LJ. the chapter was up since two days ago). So for these music videos, they are optional to listen. But i defintely try to find a piece that sets or is similar to the mood of the chapter i wrote out. however, sometimes the music i pick doesn't always set the tone i want on certain minutes. mainly because it's super long and gets weird near the middle, and there's nothing i can do about it because the particular pieces, majority of the time, has the mood that i want. but i hope they won't be a bother :3
> 
> Here's is this chapter music reference (Beethoven - Violin Sonata No.9 Kreutzer) >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__e7MRzk8Yg

Sho had no trouble telling his boss about his two-week notice. He was glad he was finally leaving the construction site. It was hard work, especially when the managers worked them like slaves under ridiculous work hours. It wasn't always like this for Sho. He had once worked in a respectable office with a decent job title; his piano teaching used to be his part-time job.  
  
He wouldn't have lost it all if only that one time...  
  
Sho pushed the memories aside as he got ready for his first practice with Nino. Immediately after Nino's first recital, Sachi called Sho in the morning for a background check. He didn't know why she didn't ask him on the day of the recital. He assumed she'll call his former boss or an official assessment proctor to evaluate him, but Sachi wanted to hear it for herself. Still, he never forgot how intense he felt over a simple phone interview. Even while he was on the phone, he sat up straight in his loose pajama pants and messy morning hair. Hopefully, his posture will help him sound more awake.

"Have you committed a felony?"  
  
"Yes, only once."  
  
"How long ago was it?"  
  
"About three years ago," Sho answered. "I've served two years in prison, and I'm registered for fifteen years."  
  
"What was your crime?" Sachi asked without missing a beat.  
  
"...sexual assault."  
  
"Have you committed any felonies since your release?"  
  
"No," Sho answered firmly.  
  
"And do you plan to cause any harm to Nino?"  
  
"Of course not!"  
  
He could almost hear her smiling through the phone. "I just needed to be reassured. Whatever details that happened to you in the past is none of my business. I only need to know that you won't hurt my brother. But I trust you, Sho. Just like Nino does."  
  
And it was over. He officially became Nino's piano accompanist. However, Sho thought it was odd he had to start working right away. Back when Sho was a part-time piano instructor, his students would only start practicing when the day of the concert was only two or three months away. But Nino's concert was a year away, and Sachi requested Sho to be around Nino every day. It was absurd, but Sachi paid him more than the construction company. Sho didn't want to cheat Sachi even though the Ninomiya family was extremely wealthy due to Nino's fame.  
  
But the real reason he decide to come was because someone finally needed his musical talents. Nino needed him. It was almost like dream...  
  
Sho knocked on the door promptly on time, and he waited in his tan linen pants and blue shirt under a checkered pullover. Sachi opened the door and greeted him with a smile.  
  
"Hello, Sho!" She opened the door wider for him. "Nino is in the practice room."  
  
When he entered the threshold, Sho already heard music from the hallway. He found Nino in the middle of the high-ceiling practice room with his back facing the entrance. The genius violinist looked comfortable in his gray cotton pants and dark blue T-shirt, but Sho detected a small trace of sweat building up on the back. Nino continued to play his violin even as Sho entered the room, and Sachi left them alone. Nino was playing a Mozart piece. Sho could tell it was Mozart not only because he used to play the piano accompaniment part, but because Nino's spirited and whimsical playing of the notes fitted the style of the great composer. It almost sounded like a singer. Sho waited until Nino became silent.  
  
"That was lovely," Sho said.  
  
Nino turned around before striking a smug look. "Of course it is. I was playing it."  
  
Sho approached closer. "Who is your favorite composer, Nino?"  
  
"Anyone that makes good music," Nino said. A small smirk appeared on his lips. "They say Chopin was one of the greatest composers, but it really depends on the player. Frankly, I make better music."  
  
"Really? May I hear it?"  
  
"No. I'm playing Mozart right now."  
  
Sho pouted and waved his hands up. "Okay. Whatever pleases you. I'll play the piano part."  
  
At that instant, Nino quickly set his violin down to go scavenging through his music books. He kept all his music books neatly organized on a wide shelf that took up almost the entire length of the wall; a rolling bookcase ladder stationed on the far side of the shelf. Hundreds upon hundreds of books stacked next to each other. When Sho leaned in closer, he saw they were categorized first by instruments. Nino's collection of violins was naturally the largest, but he also had a good amount of music books for piano, guitar, viola, and even Chinese string instruments (though very little). Then, Nino categorized them by composer's last name and their music compilation in numerical order.  
  
"Wow," Sho gasped in awe. "You have a real treasure here, Nino."  
  
Nino pulled out a thin book and placed it on the piano music rack. He turned the pages until he stopped at a certain piece. Sho sat down on the bench and took one glance at the music sheet.  
  
Sho's heart sank. "Oh..."  
  
"We're playing this one," Nino said. "Play it."  
  
"W-wait a minute!"  
  
But Nino already picked up his violin and set it snugly under his chin. Sho panicked and glanced back at the music sheet. He hasn't played this piece before, and the tiny black notes that covered the page looked intimidating. Sho tried to sum up the first key strokes to start them off, but Nino didn't wait and began playing the first down note. Sho's fingers snapped to the piano keys.  
  
It has been awhile since Sho sight-read, but all of his memories of piano lessons crept back to his mind—at a snail's pace. The room temperature suddenly felt a lot hotter, and he began sweating under the collar. Sho spent more time focusing on his part rather than listening to Nino's beautiful performance. In fact, Nino wasn't holding back. Even as Sho fumbled with the staggering amount of notes, Nino continued to play as if he was alone in the practice room. He completely left Sho in the dust.  
  
They weren't playing together at all.  
  
"Wait a minute, Nino," Sho gave up. "We should go back a bit-"  
  
But Nino kept playing.  
  
"Nino? Nino, stop!"  
  
But the man was unresponsive. Without any sheet music, Nino played throughout the entire violin concerto from memory. Sho glanced back at the piano sheet and hoped he could jump in, but he had no idea where Nino was at this point. Sho sat silently on his bench and glanced back every so often to see if Sachi would walk in on his awkwardness. At last, Nino finished playing and grabbed a white cloth to wipe off the rosin on his violin strings. Sho's guilt grew uncomfortably in his stomach along with the awkward silence.  
  
"I'm...I'm sorry, Nino," Sho said shamefully. "I need to study this a little bit more to be on your level. Can we try it again but just the first five measures?"  
  
"No," the violinist answered bitterly. "You were suppose to play the piano while I'm playing the violin."  
  
Nino came back with a new piano book and set it on the piano rack again. "We're playing this now."  
  
 _"This might not turn out as I thought it would,"_ Sho thought.  
  
*****  
  
"Doctor Aiba," an assistant nurse walked in his office, "the exam results for Chiaki is complete."  
  
"Thank you, Nanami," Aiba smiled and took the file from her. "I'll be sure to check up on her."  
  
She smiled back with a sense of appreciation and closed the door behind as she left.  
  
Aiba made the effort to learn all of the nurses for his patients even if they were from different departments. But memorizing faces was becoming a challenging task, especially in the pediatrics department. With their high turnover of nurses, the stress gradually build up on the staff. He could see the heavy bags under their eyes and their weak smiles on their faces. Aiba tried his best to help lighten the mood in the hospital, especially around the children. He has grown attached to them, particularly the ones suffering from neurological problems.  
  
And so was the case with Chiaki.  
  
She has made numerous visits to the hospital, and no one seemed to know what's wrong. A young ten-year-old keeps turning up in the ER because of falls, unintended injuries, and leg muscle weakness. They turned to Aiba to have a better understanding what was wrong, and Aiba was almost stumped. But after a series of tests and examinations, Aiba was able to come to a conclusion.  
  
The final results he just received confirmed his diagnosis.  
  
Aiba pinched the bridge of his nose before he stood up and headed for Chiaki's room. Her mother was with her, and Aiba could sense a heavy atmosphere looming over them. They, too, knew this was the day they'll finally know what was wrong with Chiaki.  
  
Still, Aiba tried to ease the tension. "Good morning, Chiaki. How are you feeling toda-"  
  
"Please, Doctor," Chiaki interrupted him, her eyes cast down and depressed. "Just tell me what it is."  
  
He hoped to create a better atmosphere before delivering the final diagnosis. He glanced down at her legs covered in the white bed sheets. Her right leg was the one that gave her the most trouble. Aiba heard from her mother that Chiaki worked hard for a dance recital...  
  
Aiba always hated to be the one to give the bad news.  
  
"After the tests results came in, I've been able to narrow your diagnosis," Aiba started, his voice clear and calm. "Chiaki, you have what's called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. It is also known as ALS."  
  
At those words, Chiaki's mother brought her hand to her mouth. Chiaki still kept her eyes on her legs, but she tightened her grip on the blankets. Their reaction told Aiba they had the same guess, but Aiba took a deep breath before he continued.  
  
"It's a progressive disease that deteriorates the motor neurons from the brain. Eventually, the brain will lost its ability to control any muscle movement and-"  
  
"And I'll no longer be able to dance," Chiaki ended for him bitterly. "First, it'll be my legs. Then, it'll be my arms, my face, and then my voice, and then my lungs." She glared up at him with angry, red, tearful eyes. "And then I'll die!"  
  
"Chiaki," her mother sobbed to silence her.  
  
"ALS patients can live a long life, Chiaki," Aiba said to reassure her. "We can give you early treatment and plenty of therapy."  
  
"But there is no cure!" Chiaki wailed, her tears already streaming down. "I can have therapy forever, but it's never going to stop this disease, will it?!"  
  
Aiba remained calm and professional as he could throughout the session. It wasn't the first time he had to deal with distressed patients, but he still had to muster all his strength not to cry along with them. After he finally got them on board to sign up for special therapy, Aiba was able to walk out of the room and let out a great big sigh. Seeing Chiaki's mother crying quietly was devastating, but seeing Chiaki slamming hard on her useless leg nearly did it for Aiba. The girl had dreams and hopes for the future. And she was only ten.  
  
When Aiba returned to his office, he found Yuka waiting for him.  
  
"You look like the sun just went down," Yuka teased him. "It's not even lunch time."  
  
Aiba managed to give her a small grin. "I'll manage."  
  
He sat down at his desk, ready to sort through his paperwork for the day. He could hear Yuka fiddling around with his coffee machine and ripping a sugar pack. A few minutes later, Yuka set down a fresh mug of coffee next to Aiba's pencil cup.  
  
"Is it true?" Yuka asked softly. "Does Chiaki have ALS?"  
  
Aiba sighed through his nose, took the warm cup of coffee into his hands, and leaned back in his chair. "I'm afraid she does. All the exams points to it." He gently blew over the rim of the coffee and took a sip.  
  
"She's a lot like Koharu, right?" Yuka said, nonchalantly.  
  
Aiba swallowed without glancing up at his wife.  
  
"She must be about the same age too," Yuka uttered.  
  
"...they both love dancing," Aiba added before setting his coffee down.  
  
"Koharu is more of a baseball fan," Yuka corrected him.  
  
Their eyes met at last, and Aiba was surprised to see her smiling down at him. Even for the tiniest moment, Aiba felt his heart prick with nervousness. Yuka's smile wasn't just a gentle facade, it initiated a challenge. If he dared to look away first, all of his fears and doubts would reveal himself—including his past. All he could do was gaze back at those round motherly eyes. Yet, he blinked once and Yuka ended the mental test.  
  
"When you're on lunch break, let me know," Yuka sighed, cupping his chin with her soft hand before walking out the door.  
  
Aiba's heart was still pounding, but another sip of coffee helped eased his tension. He glanced down at his watch to know when his next appointment starts. At that moment, the assistant nurse returned.  
  
"Doctor Aiba, Ohno Satoshi and his son are here for their appointment."  
  
"Good. Bring them in."  
  
*****  
  
Kenta kept squirming out of Ohno's arms and sliding down from the chair as they waited for their name to be called, but Ohno kept a firm grip on his son. The hospital was close by to Ohno's apartment, so they walked. But Kenta didn't like being touched or held for so long. A few patients passing by gave Ohno weird looks as he tried to wrestle with his son to stay put. Ohno gave them awkward smiles in response before Kenta moaned and complained out loud. Ohno did all he could not to yell at Kenta, but he did hissed harshly at him from time to time. For such a large hospital, they didn't leave out toys for the kids to play while they wait.  
  
Finally, someone called out to him. "Ohno Satoshi?"  
  
Ohno lifted up his fidgety son and followed the nurse to the doctor's office. When the nurse closed the door behind him. Ohno set Kenta down on the padded examination bench. The doctor had light brown hair, and his smile was warm and friendly. The man wore glasses and a freshly pressed shirt while Ohno stood there with his old T-shirt, loose jeans, and sandals.  
  
"Hello, Ohno-san. My name is Aiba Masaki,"  
  
Ohno shook hands. "Pleasure to meet you."  
  
The doctor turned to face the boy. "And you must be Kenta! Hello there!" But Kenta didn't look at the Aiba and turned his attention instead at his hands. Aiba made a kind smile and gestured at the stool chair to Ohno. "Please have a seat."  
  
The man's friendly nature helped Ohno relaxed, and he sat down. The small chair squeaked under his weight.  
  
"So, I've received your call about your concern for your son," Aiba started and pulled out a number of papers. "But tell me about him. Kenta. What made you decided to call the neurology department?"  
  
"Well, I've met with a pediatrician, but she pointed me to come here. Kenta's behavior is rather...odd lately. He would shake his head like...like that! What he's doing now. And he's really sensitive to loud noises."  
  
Aiba already started scribbling notes down. "I see. And how long have you noticed this?"  
  
Ohno clutched at his tattered jeans. "Uh...since I took care him almost three months ago. I've never met him until my ex-wife left him to me." Aiba stopped writing and gazed back at Ohno with utter shock. "I know. But I'm doing all I can to take care of him now! My mother is also helping me. She told me that I am all that Kenta has left. But Kenta cries a lot, I can't help but wonder if what I'm doing is e-enough."  
  
Suddenly, waves of stress and anxiety began swelling up inside him. He dug up some inner strength not to make his voice crack again.  
  
"I haven't slept in a long time, and I don't think Kenta has either. All he ever eats is rice crackers, potatoes, peanut butter, and water. I've even tried force feeding him so that he can stay healthy, but he looks so skinny." Ohno bowed his head down, rubbing his face and frowning. "I tried talking to him and asking what does he want, but he doesn't tell me. I can't even clean the house without him running to the bathroom because he's absolutely terrified of the vacuum, and then he wouldn't stop crying all night. I honestly don't know what to do!"  
  
Aiba set his pen down and placed a warm hand on Ohno's tensed shoulders. "I can only imagine what you've gone through, but I am here to help you with your son now." Aiba glanced at Kenta who was now holding his tiny hands up close to his eyes and waving them back and forth like it was a fun game. "I have some suspicion on what your son has, but I would like to go through some simple tests."  
  
Ohno nodded. He sat back and watched Aiba interacted with Kenta through the majority of the session. The doctor would bring out colorful charts for Kenta to look at, and he would also pull out children books for Kenta to read. Ohno watched hopelessly as Kenta paid little to no attention to Aiba.  
  
Aiba leaned back in his chair and wrote down some more notes.  
  
Ohno gulped. "W-what is your diagnosis?"  
  
The doctor with the warm smile gazed back at Ohno with a serious face. "I suspect your son has autism. I would like to run some more tests on the specific-"  
  
But Aiba's voice and all other noises seemed to drown out with only the ticking sounds of the clock echoing loudly. Ohno sat on the stool while his son innocently played with his hands in his peculiar pattern, and yet Ohno felt the world caved in on him. Somewhere deep in his mind, Ohno thought the same thing. But he refused to believe so. Was this why Minami left Kenta to him? Did she visited the doctor too? Did she got fed up with Kenta's autistic behavior? Why did Ohno had to deal with this...?

"Ohno?"  
  
The former artist snapped out of his thoughts. "Huh?"  
  
"I asked if I could run some brain scans," Aiba repeated. "I would like to know the exact diagnosis before I can start helping Kenta with the proper treatment. The screening room is only down the hallway."

"Oh...of course," Ohno said monotonously and stood up.  
  
Aiba helped Kenta down from the high bench. "Kenta! We're going to take pictures of your brain, okay?" Aiba easily lifted the boy into his arms. Aiba turned back to Ohno. "You don't mind if I carry him, do you?"  
  
"...uh, no. Not at all," Ohno nodded and followed them out the door.  
  
Ohno still felt he was in a daze as he watched his son being carried away into a large white room. Something about watching his son lying down with a huge machine over his head made Ohno choked up. Aiba was too busy clicking away at the computer to notice, but Ohno's eyes felt like they were burning. A lump was stuck in his throat that wouldn't go down no matter how many times Ohno swallowed.  
  
Surely Aiba was wrong. Kenta was not autistic. Not his son...  
  
*****  
  
It was starting to get really cold outside; Jun wouldn't be surprised if it snowed this early in November. But he got the day off and spent his time with his wife indoors. They were watching a movie when Kiko suddenly pushed him off, and he watched his wife dash to the bathroom. She didn't bother closing the door behind her, and Jun could hear her hurling her dinner into the toilet. Jun stood up, turned off the TV, and made his way to the bathroom. He didn't even set foot on the tiled floor when Kiko looked up with hooded eyes.  
  
"Close the door," she groaned.  
  
Instead, Jun took a step closer. "L-let me hold your hair at least." But he already felt rejected by her distressful eyes.  
  
"No, don't! Just get out!"  
  
There was no point in arguing when Kiko was like this, so Jun stepped out and leaned against the wall in the hallway. She was already three months into her pregnancy, and it has been a roller coaster for both of them. His heart wrenched every time Kiko threw up again. It always happened after she finished a meal, and it made Jun feel utterly helpless. At first, Kiko joked that it was the baby being a picky eater already and laughed it off, but it got worse. Jun tried looking up good meals to cook for his pregnant wife, and he made sure he measured the ingredients correctly. Washing, prepping, and checking all the meats with a thermometer. Everything.  
  
But nothing seemed to stay down.  
  
The doctor told them it was completely normal. Kiko also agreed and told him that not all pregnant symptoms were the same, but Jun still felt on edge. He has never seen his wife this sick before. In the mornings, she barely had the strength to get out of bed. Jun even insisted on staying at home with her instead going to work every morning. But Kiko always gave him the "face" until he left with his suit, his briefcase, and his tail between his legs.  
  
Finally, Kiko walked out looking more tired than before. Her eyes looked so heavy, and she dangled her arms up to let Jun hold her. Together, they walked back to the kitchen, and Kiko eased herself on the high bar stool while Jun poured a glass of water for her. He watched her quietly guzzle it down before he refilled it.  
  
"Kiko, I think you should-"  
  
"Don't start," she cut him off with a hoarse voice. "I'm fine, Jun. These morning sickness will soon faded out."  
  
"But it's not even happening in the mornings!" Jun argued back. "You only ate less than thirty minutes ago, and you threw up! It always comes back up after you eat, and it's been going on like this for days! Please, Kiko. See another doctor."  
  
Kiko set her cup down rather harshly. "They'll just say the same thing. Eat in small portions, stay hydrated, blah blah blah!"  
  
Jun placed his hands against the island counter top, his brow pitched tightly. "But Kiko, I can't...I just-"  
  
Kiko reached for his face and pulled him down to plant a kiss on his cheek. Jun's tensed shoulders gradually relaxed, and he rested his elbows on the marble top. Kiko may look tired, but she wasn't finished fighting. He could see it whenever he gazed deeply into her brown eyes. For a little while, the anxious knots in Jun's gut untangled and almost dissolved. They shared another kiss before Jun brought his hand up to touch her hair with a remorseful look.  
  
"I...I know this is all part of the experience," Jun said, his voice low and husky. "But I just feel so useless seeing you like this."  
  
Kiko pouted her full lips at him. "I know you feel that way, and I love you and all the support you're giving me. That is all I need."  
  
Jun quickly leaned in to suck her already pouting lips. They broke off and Kiko waved her empty glass up at him. He smirked at her before playfully snatching it out of her hand and refilled it with water.  
  
But when he turned around, Kiko had her hand to her mouth and ran back to the bathroom again...  
  
*****  
  
Sho knocked listlessly on the door again and waited for Sachi to answer. The dark and gloomy sky matched to Sho's mood. He even woke up late and grabbed a regular pair of jeans and a thin gray sweater under his worn-out parka. When the door opened, Sho quickly pulled on a fake smile and greeted Sachi, but even she looked a little bit peeved.  
  
"Hello, Sho," Sachi said hastily as she fidgeted around inside her large purse. "I'm so sorry, but I have to leave now."  
  
"W-what?" Sho frowned, but she left the door open for him and walked towards the driveway. "You're going somewhere?"

  
"Yes, but only for a while," Sachi said, already opening her car door. "I have to attend a meeting on behalf of Nino," she glanced at her watch, "and this could last until late at night. If you don't mind, please stay with Nino after practice hours. I already have dinner made so you can heat it up for him, and I'll try to make it back as soon as I can. Thank you!"  
  
Sho didn't even get the chance to reply an answer when she hopped into her car and started the engine. Sho still had his mouth slightly hanging, his arms open and palms up, until she drove away. Sho groaned and walked inside the house. As he hung his coat, he could hear Nino's violin down the hall. Sho slowly rubbed his hands down his face.  
  
It's been a month since Sho started coming to Nino's house for practice, and it has been frustrating. Sho thought working with a prodigy would be amazing, but it was anything but fantastic. No doubt, hearing Nino play live in-person was great. But the man would not listen to Sho one bit. Even when Sho was finally able to memorize the piece, Nino's tempo was different from what's written. He would completely change it, and Sho had to accommodate to him almost every other measure. Sure, Nino was "feeling" the music, and it sounds wonderful. But everything that Sho knew about music might as well be thrown out the window after working together with the autistic savant.  
  
Now, Sho has to babysit him after hours?! He could barely stand to be around Nino for more than thirty minutes. Even Nino acted bitterly whenever Sho was around. So much for being trusted.  
  
The frustrated pianist closed the front door behind him and almost cringed at the sound of Nino's pitch perfect high note. Sweet as it may be, Nino has played the same Tchaikovsky piece for the past two weeks. And Nino doesn't practice music pieces in parts. He would completely memorize the music and play the piece in its full length. Sho practically listened to the same recital over and over until his brain hurt. Even Sho could play the violin part on the piano by now, but he also had a mind to blow up those black and white keys to the pits of hell.  
  
Sho walked into the practice room to find Nino standing in the center in his same gray pants and dark blue T-shirt. Sho used to dress smartly to impress, but the violinist never cared for appearances. When he realized that Nino only wears the same two sets of clothes, Sho's attire became lazy as well. Before, Sho tried to make light conversation during rehearsals, but the genius introvert only cared about music. Sho gave up trying to be friends with Nino.  
  
"I'm back," Sho sighed and sat down on the piano bench, his back to the piano. He continued to talk even though Nino didn't stop playing. "Your sister said she's going to a meeting and won't be back until late. So I'm staying over a bit."  
  
Nino's tempo changed. Before it was lively and animated, but Nino's bow arm slowed down at Sho's words even though the music should be light. Nino's brow pitched tightly at the center, and his tone sounded solemn and heavy. His fingering began to slow down as well, and his strings barely vibrated a sound.  
  
"She won't be gone for long," Sho said, crossing his arms and legs. "She said dinner was already made and I'll reheat it for you."  
  
Suddenly, Nino's piece changed completely. He burst with noise that even Sho jumped in his seat. Nino scrunched his eyes shut; his mouth twisted into a grimace, and his breath came out in quiet pants. His violin was loud, and the pressure he put on his bow was so strong that Sho spotted a bow hair snapping off and flailing about. Sho frowned as he watched Nino's frantic performance from a composer he's never heard. It was Nino original piece.  
  
Nino doesn't like it. He doesn't want Sho after hours as much as Sho doesn't want to stay.  
  
Then, Nino stopped in middle of playing and glared at Sho. "Play the piano!"  
  
Sho snarled back at him, but the man continued to play his violin. Sho turned around in his seat to face the stupid piano, and he opened the cover with a rather grumpy push. He listened to Nino's violin for a bit before Sho slammed his first chord.  
  
Screw playing together. Sho held his patience long enough for Nino. Neither of them listened to each other's music at all. They sounded like a completely mess but why bother. Sho wasn't even playing any particular piece from memory either. It was just them and their instruments making noises. Angry noises at each other for not working together. Frustrated notes because neither of them want to spend any more time with each other. And sad melodies because they had both hoped this combination could have worked out.  
  
 _"What does Nino want from me?"_  Sho thought as he continued to play the piano without any sense of direction.  _"Why doesn't he listen to my harmony? Why can't I be his other hand? Can't he hear that I'm not like him? Why won't he understand how I feel?!"_  
  
Why? Why? Why?! Over and over, Sho's fingers rained down on the piano keys. He grew even louder than Nino's violin to the point that Sho became completely absorbed into his piano. All he saw was red and a blur of his own hands. His music was aggressive and rapid. So much has happened these past few years and everything just seemed to pour out of him. Why did he agree to work with some autistic man? Why did he had to lose his comfortable office job and part-time piano teaching? Why did he had to ruin his life by doing...that?!  
  
Sho crashed his hands on top of the piano keys. The ghastly tone echoed throughout the house. His shoulders hunched over and tensed, and there was a light damp of sweat on his brow. As the echo died down, the room was completely silent except for Sho's heavy breathing. As he slowly opened his eyes, Sho's mind became an empty void. What exactly did he play? Bach? Chopin? Was it Sho's own original piece?  
  
Then, a soft hand rested on his shoulders. Sho glanced up and stared back at round, glossy, red eyes. Sho almost gasped. Why was Nino crying? Did he sensed Sho's frustration? Nino pulled his hand away and lifted his violin back to his chin. The next note was a soft and quiet note as if to ease the previous tension. If Sho displayed a performance of fire, Nino was the after rain. Even without any words, Sho could sense Nino's message: things was going to be alright, and the past was behind him now. The practice room felt cooler, and Sho's body gradually relaxed.  
  
When Nino finished, their eyes locked onto each other's. For a brief moment, there was a sense of understanding and Sho almost wanted to hold it a little while longer, but they finally dropped their gaze.  
  
"...I'm sorry, Nino," Sho spoke first in a raspy voice before resting his head in his palm. "I...I don't know what came over me."  
  
"I know."  
  
Sho glanced back up again.  
  
Nino nodded towards the black instrument. "You were playing the piano." And he turned around to set his violin away.  
  
Was that it? Did Nino wanted him to play the piano like before? Sho glanced down at his hands. His fingers were still twitched, and he clasped them tightly into fists. Nino didn't just wanted him to play the piano. He wanted Sho to play while expressing his emotions. That was how Nino played. That was how Nino communicated. Even if a composer noted the music score to be in a lively tempo, Nino will play it sweetly and softly if he was in the mood. Despite how wrong the music was suppose to be performed, Nino's variations always sounded better. And it was only until now did Sho realized why.  
  
Nino plays by heart.  
  
When Sho gazed up, Nino already left the room. He followed Nino where the living room and the kitchen merged as one big open room. Nino plopped himself down on the couch and turned on the television as if practice was nothing special. Sho's heart was still pounding from his earlier rendition, so he helped himself for a drink to calm his nerves. He opened the fridge but found no beer. Sho frowned slightly and settled for juice.  
  
Nino sat in the very middle of the couch with one foot tucked underneath him and his arms between his legs—his eyes never left the television screen. Sho awkwardly sat down at the far end of the couch. Nino held the remote control and flipped channels whenever he pleased. They never said a word to each other, and Sho didn't know if he was suppose to say something or let the awkward silence drag on. Eventually, Sho relaxed and mindlessly watched the television as well. The hours ticked by until Sho felt his stomach rumbling.  
  
"Nino, are you hungry?"  
  
The man didn't answer.  
  
Sho stood up and blocked Nino's view of the television. "Nino? Are you hungry?"  
  
The violinist glanced away, clamping his knees together, and then veered his attention back at the television. "Mmm."  
  
"Was that a yes or no?"  
  
"...I'm hungry."  
  
"Okay then," Sho nodded and went back to the kitchen. "How does Sachi deal with him every day?"  
  
As Sho reheated dinner, he couldn't help but feel hollow. The magic that happened earlier vanished almost as quickly as it came. Sho watched the thirty-year-old man sitting on the couch and rocking back and forth like a silly child. For an autistic man being a year younger than him, Sho thought Nino looked fairly average. His black hair was thick and wavy. It contrasted greatly with his pale skin. Yet it looked so smooth. Sho imagined it being soft...  
  
A loud "ding" startled Sho, but it was just the microwave. They started eating dinner in an awkward silence, or at least for Sho it felt awkward again. After the sudden emotionally hailstorm during practice, a craving sensation kept nagging at Sho to recapture the moment again. He finally got a better understanding of Nino, and grasping onto a deeper knowledge of the genius savant could help Sho with his piano skills. He regretted not putting more effort the last month. He might still make up for it.  
  
"I want to thank you, Nino, for calming me back there."  
  
Nino nibbled on his vegetables.  
  
Sho sighed. "It's just...I've never played like that before. A lot has built up inside me, and I've held it in for so long. As your accompanist, I feel bad for interfering with your practice." Sho lightly bowed his head. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Will you be playing the piano?" Nino asked in a monotonous tone.  
  
"Eh, well, of course," Sho mumbled. "Sachi hired me after all."  
  
"No," Nino pouted. "Will you be  _playing_  the piano?"  
  
Sho gulped. "I'll...I'll try."  
  
"Good."  
  
Sho watched Nino continue to eat his vegetables in a slow demeanor. His eyes looked drooped and gloomy. Was he still sad that Sachi wasn't here? If Sho wasn't here, would Nino be even more depressed?  
  
Sho lowered his chopsticks and tilted his head slightly. "Why do you look so sad?" He asked in a mellow tone.  
  
Nino's action seem to grow even slower. Sho watched the man lifted a small bit of rice until his lips clamped down over his utensils. Nino sniffed and chewed slowly. Sho raised his brows when he saw Nino's eyes becoming glossy again.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sho begged softly.  
  
But the man just groaned and shook his head. Suddenly, Nino set his bowl down and dashed away to his room. Sho was left alone in utter shock and confusion. Even after Sho cleared the table, Nino never left his room. There wasn't a single note of music echoing in the house either. Sho thought of going back to the practice room and playing the piano again to lure Nino out, but the hour was growing late. Sho assumed Nino went to sleep, so he passed the time by finally gaining control of the remote and flipping through channels.  
  
Then, Sho heard the front door open, and he went to greet Sachi.  
  
"Hey, welcome back," Sho uttered quietly.  
  
"I'm back," Sachi said, slipping her shoes off. "You sound tired. Everything all right?"  
  
Sho scratched his temple. "Uh, practice was intense, but...Nino suddenly looked upset during dinner. I thought he was going to cry. Maybe he missed you."  
  
Sachi blinked at him. "Really? Nino looked like he was crying?" Sachi frowned and mumbled mostly to herself. "Nino hardly cries anymore. In fact, he rarely shows any emotions other than playing music." She turned her attention back to Sho. "Did something particular happened during practice?"  
  
Sho recalled how Nino was on the verge of tears after Sho's angry performance. Was it still affecting him? Perhaps their little music moment hadn't vanished after all. Nino must still be moved with Sho's music. And Sho had almost thought Nino forgot about it. Perhaps, Nino did cared. It was a small comfort that grew warmly inside Sho's chest.  
  
A small smile spread across Sho's face. "Practice was really good today."  
  
Sachi gave a half-smile. "Well that's good to hear," she inhaled deeply, "but I, on the other hand, have some bad news."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"The meeting I went to was with my lawyer," Sachi said. "Apparently, someone forged my signature into agreeing Nino to perform in Osaka and almost all the cities in that prefecture."  
  
"My god," Sho frowned slightly. "There are people who would do that?"  
  
"They would do anything to get Nino's publicity," Sachi rolled her eyes. Sho followed her back into the kitchen where they sat down at the table. "These people, however, are clever to think they can fake my signature into a contract. They know that I am Nino's manager and make all the agreements for Nino's performances."  
  
"Nino doesn't get a saying in those things?" Sho asked, curiously.  
  
"He'll always say yes to a performance," Sachi said. "But that's also a problem. If he could, he would continue performing non-stop with no breaks. Can you imagine Nino having concerts and traveling every week without rest? I would not want that to happen to him. He doesn't know his body's limits, so I must look after him."  
  
Sho gave a warm smile. "Nino is very lucky to have you then. I'll bet he wouldn't know what to do without you."  
  
"Well, he's going to find out soon."  
  
Sho's smile slowly faded. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I have to travel to Osaka," Sachi confessed. "I know you have only been with Nino for a month, but will you stay with him longer until I come back?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we have a taste of sho and nino working together. even though with all the music involved, i try not to put too much music terminology that might seem foreign to those who never learned it. i try to keep it in its simplest form. unless majority of you guys do know how to read music, then i can add more terms. (oh, but then it'll lose its poetic-ness XD)
> 
> also, i hope the timelines aren't too confusing. everything is happening all in chronological order. so when it's sakumiya jump to aiba, that means time has passed between the sakumiya part and the aiba part. same when we saw ohno's part jump to jun's story. the last time we saw kiko was 2 months pregnant, and now she's 3 months. so time passes (rather significantly) but the important thing to know is that they are events that happen in order. hope that makes sense OTL
> 
> basically, everyone somehow or another are connected to the main pairing story. it may not seem like much, but they will. so hang in there!
> 
> see you in the next update!


	4. Andante

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to get this chapter posted. this chapter will finally have some more sakumiya! hope you all enjoy it!  
> Music reference (Bach Sonata for Violin and Piano BWV 1017 C Minor) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FBFfvW8YSg

Sachi's mind was swimming with doubts. What if something bad happens? What if Nino panics and Sho is unable to control him? What if Nino completely regress in his social skills while she was away in Osaka? Her eyes were droopy from the lack of sleep, and the cold weather wasn't helping relieve her pounding headaches. But Sachi took a deep breath to resort her thoughts. Sho is a capable adult and respectful of Nino's needs, so Sachi didn't have to worry about those two fighting.  
  
She waited by the hot snack stand until she was next in line. Sachi ordered hot waffles with honey and strawberries before walking back to Nino waiting at the bench. Nino never liked going outside unless it was with her, so there was no need to worry about him complaining. On her last day before her trip, they decided to have another visit to the local park. Across the pond, the Ferris wheel remained still but the lights blinked in rainbow colors. Sachi sat down next to her brother and handed him the hot treat.  
  
"Thanks, Sachi," Nino smiled as he accepted the treat.  
  
"Eat while it's still warm," she grinned.  
  
"Yeah, I'll eat while it's still warm," he repeated back to her.  
  
Sachi, on the other hand, didn't had much of an appetite. She watched her brother enjoy the waffles before gazing across the pond. It was a nice park. There were game booths to play, ramen noodle stands at almost every corner, couples young and old walking along the beveled square-tiled sidewalks, and a young sports team jogged along the track. It was nothing like living in the middle of the city. Sachi was glad they moved here.  
  
"When I come back, we'll be sure to go on the Ferris wheel," Sachi told Nino. "We might even see our house from the top."  
  
"Sure. Next time we can ride the Ferris wheel," Nino mumbled absentmindedly. "But why not now?"  
  
"We don't have the time. I'm going to be away for a long while, so you better wait for me before riding it," Sachi said. "Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, okay," Nino said while chewing his food. "When you return, we'll ride the Ferris wheel."  
  
Sachi let out a sigh and glanced back at the pond. Perhaps she was fretting over nothing. Some time apart might actually help Nino grow a bit more. Aiba had always said that Nino needed to build new relationships and that she needed to stop babying him. Maybe this would be the best thing for them.  
  
When they finished eating, they headed back home as Sachi gazed around the park. The air felt so fresh, and the calmness of the park enticed her. Nino smiled at street musicians, and he would delicately twiddling with his fingers as if he was playing a violin made of air. She wanted to stay longer...  
  
They arrived back at their house where Sho waited for them. He finished unpacking his things for the stay while Sachi grabbed her bags to load her car. Sho helped her load the last of her luggage while Nino sat on the front steps tapping his knees to an unheard rhythm.  
  
"You really want to drive all the way to Osaka?" Sho asked. "Wouldn't it be better to leave by train and get there sooner?"  
  
"And have Nino look out the window to see my car is still here and think I'm home?" Sachi questioned back. "No. The last time I left the car keys at home, the land lady called me saying Nino was having a messy fit. When Nino finds out he's alone, he gets scared." Sachi closed the car trunk before letting out a concerned sigh. "When he was little, he would sleep with our parents. But when they passed away, it was quite a shock to him. He doesn't like being alone."  
  
"He's an adult now," Sho pointed out with his brow slightly furrowed. "And he gives the impression of  _wanting_  to be alone."  
  
Sachi nodded. "Yes, he can handle it now. But only the minor things like if I have to go to the groceries or have a meeting. But anything more than one night..." Sachi shook her head. "When he finds out he's really alone, it completely terrifies him."  
  
"...how long will you be gone?" Sho asked.  
  
"Depends on the court cases," Sachi answered. "Because of this whole ordeal, I had to put Nino's performances on hold until it's resolved. It's a shame too since I booked for the two of you to perform next month during Christmas, but I can't afford a scandal to break out in the middle of promotion. Nino will have to wait until I return."  
  
"Better safe than sorry."  
  
"Yes....please look after him for me while I'm gone."  
  
Sho lightly bowed his head. "Of course."  
  
"Should you need anything, you can call me or Kiko," Sachi said, hastening her speech. "I left her number on the fridge. She's a close fan and friend. I told her I was leaving. If things aren't going well with Nino, she can help you out." Sachi opened her car door before her eyes widen and her mouth slightly gaped. "Oh, that's right! I left out enough money in case you need to buy more food. And the phone number for Nino's doctor, Aiba Masaki, is on my desk. If Nino gets sick, make him some hot tea. Make sure he brushes his teeth and combs his hair, he always forgets....Oh! And he likes his meat cut into small bite size. He doesn't like too much oil-"  
  
"Sachi!" Sho spoke over her. "Calm down. We'll be fine." He gave her a reassuring nod. "He'll be here waiting for you. Just come back home soon."  
  
Her eyebrows rose high and pinched tight. Sachi glanced over Sho's shoulder where Nino stood behind him. She reached out to him and planted a kiss on his forehead. She smoothed out Nino's hair as she felt her eyes watering.  
  
"I'll be back soon," Sachi uttered. "Sho will be with you until I come back, okay?"  
  
Nino stared back with shining eyes. "I'll be fine, Sachi. I won't be going anywhere. We have a Ferris wheel waiting for us."  
  
Sachi smiled warmly and hugged him one more time. "Yes. Yes, of course. I'll buy all the waffles for you again."  
  
With a shaky breath, she released Nino and climbed into her car. As she started up the engine, Sachi glanced up at her rear view mirror. Sho and Nino were at the door and waving goodbye. She pulled out of the driveway and made her slow descent around the bend until her brother was out of her sight...  
  
*****  
  
Ohno had his head bowed down low with his elbows resting on the bar countertop. The bar was slightly smoky with dim lighting. At least it wasn't crowded or noisy to add to Ohno's headaches. He swallowed down the last of his drink before setting the cup down with a definite "clank." The strong alcohol taste burned at the back of his throat, and he let out a low snarl. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. His mother texted him saying that Kenta finally fell asleep. Ohno let out another low sigh before the bartender reappeared to take his glass away.  
  
"No," Ohno slurred. "One more..."  
  
"I think you've had enough, sir."  
  
"Then give me something to munch on."  
  
The bartender served a small bowl of salted soybeans, and Ohno started eating the light snack with slow fingers. Two seats down, someone called out to the bartender.  
  
"I would like some too."  
  
As the bartender prepared another plate, Ohno side-glanced to see who else was spending the night at the lonely bar. The man wore a business suit, but his jacket caped the back of his chair. His necktie was loose, and he rolled his sleeves up to reveal his expensive wristwatch. He also had a fancy briefcase that took up the empty seat between them. The man had everything to show for and here was Ohno in his cheapest clothes he could buy that could withstand the cold.  
  
Ohno let his tongue click before looking away and popping in another soybean.  
  
The business man heard him. "Something wrong?"  
  
"No, nothing," Ohno said, waving his hand carelessly. "I'm just wondering why such a fine looking man is spending his time in a back alley bar for cheap beer and nuts." Ohno glanced up at the bartender who pouted at him. "No offense."  
  
"Maybe I have a lot on my mind and want to find a place to unwind," the suit man said with no hint of bitterness. "That's probably the same reason you're here, no?"  
  
"Isn't that the reason why bars exist?" Ohno asked back. "We all want to escape somewhere and have someone to hear our problems. But who would want to hear another man's story?"  
  
The man hummed low before speaking again. "I wouldn't mind listening to your story."  
  
Ohno turned to face the man. "What's your name?"  
  
"You can call me Jun."  
  
"I'm Ohno."  
  
Jun gave him a soft smile. "Why don't we become drinking buddies? I never liked drinking by myself." He waved at the bartender to refill Ohno's glass, and they raised their cups for a humble toast. "So what brings you to drink away your sorrows, Ohno?"  
  
The struggling artist set his glass down with a heavy heart as he start recounting the past few months. Jun was a good listener; the man would nod with sympathy and let out a low hum at the right moments. Ohno didn't hold anything back—the alcohol definitely helped get his lips flapping. All his fears, his anxiety, and his doubts poured out his mouth. And the man sitting next to him never interrupted him.  
  
When Ohno finally stopped, he let out a short sigh and grinned to himself. "This...feels nice. Having someone listen to you."  
  
Jun chuckled. "I feel like I didn't really do much, but I'm glad I helped a bit...although..."  
  
Ohno glanced back at Jun and watched him searching inside his briefcase. Jun pulled out a CD and held it out to him. "What's this?"  
  
"Have you heard of the violinist Ninomiya Kazunari?"  
  
Ohno gently took the CD and stared down at the picture of the violinist. "No, I haven't. I don't really keep up with famous people."  
  
Jun tapped on the picture. "He's autistic."  
  
Ohno's head snapped up with his eyes slightly widen. "Really?!"  
  
"My wife is a big fan of his work," Jun nodded with a subtle hint of pride in his smile. "She says that Nino's music is so moving. Even if he plays a classical piece, his own version really resonates at the soul. Or that's what Kiko tells me. I think he's a good musician. Maybe if you let your son listen to this...I don't know. Maybe something positive might happen."  
  
"You'll really let me borrow this?"  
  
"I'm letting you keep it. I already have the music uploaded on my playlist. Plus, my wife always buy two copies for some reason."  
  
Ohno smirked. "Wow...thank you. I'll give it a try."  
  
*****  
  
Chiaki's leg has gotten worse at a faster rate than Aiba expected. She could barely bend her knee, let alone move her ankle to position herself with each step. When he first brought in the walking cane, Chiaki made a sour face.  
  
"It'll help take you wherever you need to go," Aiba said with a smile. "Your left leg is still good. You cannot give up just yet."  
  
"Will it take me to K-Ballet?" Chiaki questioned.  
  
Aiba's smile twitched. "Uh, well-"  
  
"Will it take me to the stage? Will it get to Broadway? Will it help me dance again?!"  
  
"Chiaki," her mother whispered harshly.  
  
But Aiba didn't waver. He sat down and leaned in close so he was almost to her eye level. He kept the walking cane between them in his hands, and Chiaki glared down at it as if it was the most hateful object on the planet. The longer he watched, the more he realized Chiaki's pout looked like Koharu's.  
  
"You know, Chiaki, I have a daughter," Aiba started. "She's about your age, and she also dreamed about being a dancer."  
  
Chiaki's eyes snapped to him immediately.  
  
"Ever since she was able to walk, Koharu wanted to be a ballerina," Aiba said, a bright smile appearing on his lips again. "She especially wanted go to Broadway as well. But then she came up to me and said she didn't want to dance anymore. Suddenly, she wanted to be a baseball player. Her dream changed."  
  
Chiaki's frowned, confused. "Why did she changed her mind?"  
  
"I'm not sure why," Aiba shrugged. "But what surprised me was how willing she was able to move on. When something was out of her reach, she pursued something else. And I can't help but wonder...maybe everyone is like that as well. If there's a dream we can't reach, we'll simply find another and follow it with all our heart. Now, I know being a dancer means a lot to you," Aiba held out the walking cane to her again, "but you shouldn't be afraid to try and find a new dream too."  
  
He waited patiently until Chiaki reached out and took the walking cane. She stood up and leaned her weight onto the cane. With a little practice, Chiaki got used to the walking cane. Aiba spotted a hopeful flicker pass by Chiaki's eyes. She still refused to smile, but seeing a slight change in her expression counted as a small victory for Aiba. When she glanced up at him, her eyes were bright yet painful familiar.  
  
"Thank you, Doctor," Chiaki said timidly.  
  
He grinned back and ruffled her hair affectionately. "You can call me Aiba. Almost all of my patients do."  
  
The corner of her lips twitched. "Thank you...Aiba."  
  
Even her facial gestures looked like Koharu...  
  
*****  
  
Sho woke up from his dream with the sound of Nino's violin echoing from across the hall. He groaned and glanced at his alarm clock. As expected, Nino always got up exactly at nine in the morning for violin exercises. He wasn't playing any variations, sonatas, or original pieces. Nino only practiced his scales every morning before taking a shower. And Sho, having to sleep in the guest room that was within earshot of the practice room, had to listen to Nino play every morning. Sho turned off his alarm clock after the first week of living in the Ninomiya's house. Nino became his personal alarm.  
  
He let Nino play for another fifteen minutes until Sho was able to predict the next seven notes of Nino's repeating scales. He rolled off his bed and rubbed his sleepy eyes. Last night, he had to yell at Nino to stop practicing and to go to sleep. This morning, it seemed like Nino was repaying back Sho's frustration by playing as loudly as he could. Sho still had bed hair as he pulled a T-shirt on and walked down the hall.  
  
"Okay, Nino. Enough playing," Sho grumbled. "I'll make breakfast."  
  
But Nino ignored Sho and continued practicing all minor scales through each string.  
  
"Nino, now!" Sho raised his voice louder with his hands on his hips.  
  
Nino finally lowered his violin and glared at him. "I can hear you fine. I'm autistic, not deaf....when is Sachi coming back?"  
  
"Not until she finishes her court trials," Sho repeated since yesterday. "Now come on. Wash up."  
  
The violinist lowered his gaze and started groaning low and deep in his throat. Very slowly, Nino placed his violin away and wiped it down. Sho leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and waited for Nino to close his violin case. The last time Sho left Nino alone, the man picked up his violin and started playing again. Sho made sure Nino walked out of the practice room before heading towards the kitchen to heat up the miso soup.  
  
It has only been a week, and Sho's mind became stifled like sailors suffocating in an air-leaking submarine. Sho wasn't really babysitting Nino. The man was fully capable of showering, using the toilet, feeding, and dressing himself. The problem was the mundane tasks that drained Sho's energy. On the first night, Sho heard weird noises in the bathroom. When he called out to Nino, it turned out Nino was trying to fill the tub with cold water and the drain unplugged. So the pianist had to draw bath water whenever Nino wants it.  
  
Food was even worse. Sachi left recipes for Sho to cook, but he was hopeless in the kitchen. For years, Sho's best dishes were instant noodles, tea, and sometimes a good rice bowl with stir-fried meat if he concentrated hard enough. But planning meals for two, three times a day, really exhausted Sho. His first attempt to cook Sachi's recipes ended up in a near disaster. Nino hardly finished his plate whenever Sho cooks. But thankfully Sho has improved his miso soup recipe, and Nino would eat plentiful during breakfast.  
  
At least music rehearsals became a breeze. Although they still had trouble staying together and listening, they somehow understood each other through music. Sho's frustration still showed through his piano playing, and Nino's sadness without his sister was clearly heard with his violin. Together, they make a stirring piece with anger, misery, and heartache even if they were practicing cheerful Bach compositions. But Sho wished their practices weren't always this depressing.  
  
Suddenly, Sho heard a loud thud and a wail from the bathroom. He quickly turned off the stove and jogged to the bathroom down the hall.  
  
He knocked on the door. "Nino? Are you okay in there?"  
  
The shower water turned off.  
  
"Nino? Is everything alright?" Sho said, feeling his heart beat pounding a bit. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"...yes."  
  
Sho's hand immediately went for the doorknob and turned it, but he didn't open the door. A strong image of Nino laying on the bathroom tiled floor appeared in Sho's mind. He imagined Nino's dark hair dripping with warm water, and Nino's pale skin would be clean and incredible soft to the touch. The heat rose to Sho's cheeks, and he began wiping his palms against his pajama pants to calm himself down.  
  
"Nino, I need you to do me a favor," Sho called through the wooden door. "I want you to grab your towel and wrap yourself with it. Can you do that?"  
  
"....I hurt myself."  
  
"I know you did," Sho said, his brow deeply furrowed and his eyes shut tight. "But you can dry yourself, right? Just...just cover yourself before I come in."  
  
"....okay."  
  
"Okay?" Sho opened his eyes. "You're covered up? I'm coming in now."  
  
Sho sucked in a quick breath before opening the door. The steam rolled out, and the smell and heat from the water hit Sho's face. Nino sat on the floor with a white towel covering his lap while cradling his left hand. Sho gulped and felt his face burning even more than the shower heat.  
  
Nino was...beautiful!  
  
Just as Sho imagined. The violinist thighs were thin and tight, possibly from standing for hours of practicing. Nino had a little pudgy belly, but the skin looked so smooth and even as if the man bore no birthmarks or moles save for the one on his chin. His hair was still wet, and the water dripped down to his narrow shoulders. His arms weren't muscularly toned, but the slenderness appeared so alluring...  
  
"Sho?"  
  
The pianist quickly blinked back to his senses. "Huh?"  
  
"...my hand," Nino held it up, "it hurts."  
  
Sho frowned and knelt down next to Nino. "Let me see."  
  
He never had any physically contact with Nino, so the violinist cautiously drew his injury hand closer to his chest.  
  
"It's alright," Sho said softly. "I just want to see how bad it is."  
  
Reluctantly, Nino offered his hand and kept his head down. Sho gently held Nino's left hand and slowly turned it. There weren't any blood or cuts. Sho padded around and felt no broken bones, but the freshly washed skin made Sho suck his breath in deeply before he cleared his throat.  
  
"Can you tell me what happened?" Sho asked, still holding Nino's hand. "How did you fall?"  
  
"I stepped on the soap," Nino answered bluntly. "I slipped."  
  
"And you hurt your wrist?"  
  
"I hurt my wrist on the edge of the tub."  
  
"I see," Sho nodded and lowered Nino's hand. "I think you'll be fine. You'll probably have a bruise but nothing serious, I hope. Dry up and I'll have the miso soup ready for you."  
  
Nino was already reaching for the towel on his lap, but Sho quickly stood up and closed the bathroom door behind him. The cool air dried up the faint sweat on his brow, and Sho let out a long quiet sigh. But even as he made his way back to the kitchen, his could still hear his heartbeat against his ear drums. The memories started flooding back before Sho was incarcerated. Memories of a time when Sho was a different man. Soon, Nino's face replaced those memories with lewd eyes...  
  
"Stop it," Sho hissed to himself and shaking his head slightly. "You're not like that anymore..."  
  
After another fifteen minutes, Nino came back out fully clothed, and they ate their breakfast in silence. But Sho noticed Nino switched using his chopsticks from his left hand to his right hand. Then, Nino turned his left hand to reveal a slightly-raised, nasty-looking, red bruise.  
  
"That doesn't look good," Sho mumbled. "That came up a lot quicker than I thought."  
  
"I bruise very easily," Nino uttered. "It hurts every time I move it."  
  
The pianist lowered his chopsticks and let out a sympathetic sigh. "Do you think you can play with that hand?"  
  
Nino also put his utensils down to cradle his injured hand. "I don't know. If I twist my wrist too far, it hurts. And you have to hold the violin with your wrist pointed outward. It's not like I can switch hands while playing the violin." Nino's brow furrowed even deeper as he twisted his wrist to test its limit. "It really hurts."  
  
"I know, I know," Sho moaned before standing up. "Uh, I'll see what I can do."  
  
Sho went for the medicine cabinet and found a first aid kit, but it was poorly stocked. There were only a few plasters, tweezers, disinfecting wipes, and a very short roll of gauze. Sachi must have used this kit often. Sho closed the lid and opened the freezer. He took out ice cubes and placed them inside a plastic bag before wrapping it around a clean towel. He returned back to Nino, who stopped eating entirely, and sat next to him.  
  
"Give me your hand," Sho muttered.  
  
For the second time, Nino offered his fragile hand and Sho held it delicately in his palm. The pianist gently pressed the cool ice patch against Nino's red bruise, but Nino withdrew his hand away.  
  
Nino frowned at him. "It's too cold!"  
  
"It'll help reduce swelling," Sho said as calmly as he could. "It's alright, Nino. I'm here to help."  
  
"This is stupid. I don't need ice. I want Sachi," Nino moaned. "When is Sachi coming back?"  
  
Sho tried not to roll his eyes, but he dropped his kind tone. "For the last time, Sachi is away for a while on business. She'll be back soon. But in the meantime,  _I_  will look after you and  _you're_ gonna have to deal with it! You want to play the violin again, right?"  
  
He held out his palm open again and waited for Nino to respond back. Sho's patience was just about to wear thin when Nino finally offered his wrist. Sho glanced down and saw how fast the bruise rose. Nino's body is incredible fragile, but Sho placed the ice patch against Nino's skin again. Nino groaned slightly, but the man stayed still. Sensing his discomfort, Sho tried rubbing his thumb against Nino's hand. But Nino started fidgeting in his chair.  
  
"It's too cold..."  
  
Then, Sho did the one thing that came to his mind: humming. It was an old nursery rhyme from his childhood. Since they were near the same age, Sho hoped Nino would recognize it as well. Gradually, Nino calmed down as well as he listened to Sho's lullaby. He could feel Nino's tense muscles melt away just by holding Nino's hand. Sho lifted the ice patch away to give Nino's skin some warmth before resuming back. Sho noticed Nino's breathed slowed down as well, and Sho began singing a wordless song.  
  
The music calmed Nino down nicely, and Sho continued singing. For a moment, Sho worried that Nino's hand became too cold. While still singing softly, Sho set aside the ice patch and gently covered Nino's wrist with both hands. As soon as he did, Sho slowly rubbed back and forth to warm up Nino's wrist again. He was careful not to apply pressure to the wound as he concentrated on making Nino feel better. But Sho enjoyed the feel of Nino's smooth skin. Sho quickly looked up and saw Nino had his eyes closed. Sho couldn't tell if the autistic man was enjoying his voice or his touch....  
  
After awhile, Sho stopped singing to inspect Nino's bruise. "Feel better?" Sho asked quietly.  
  
Nino's eyes drifted between his bruised hand, Sho, the floor, and back at Sho before he nodded.  
  
Sho glanced down at the melted ice bag. He remembered how empty the fridge looked as well as the first aid kit. He met Nino's eyes. "I need to go to the grocery store. Would you like to come with me? You can tell me what you like to eat and I'll buy it."  
  
"Don't buy a lot," Nino responded quickly.  
  
Sho tilted his head. "Hmm? Why not? Sachi left plenty for the both of us."  
  
Nino pulled his hand back into his lap. "I...I don't like expensive foods." Nino stuck his jaw out a bit, and his voice became more sullen. "And you take too much time to cook them. Sachi's recipe tastes good and all...but you take forever trying to make them. And it means less time practicing. So don't buy too much."  
  
Sho tried not to giggle at Nino's childish expression. "Alright, I'll be thrifty"  
  
*****  
  
"MAAAAMAAAAAAA!"  
  
Ohno lightly bounced Kenta in his tired arms, but his eyelids felt like a ton of bricks. At any moment, they would give away before the rest of his body did. The thunderstorm wasn't dying down any time soon. The strong winds rattled hard against Ohno's beaten window shades, and Kenta continued screaming throughout the loud thunder booms. Ohno was alone with Kenta for the week, but he wished his mother was here to help him. However, Ohno has been relying too heavily on his mother, and he wanted her to have a break.  
  
He has been job hunting again. Yet, every job interview he went ended up in a miserable failure. He used to make a living by selling his art pieces on the street and commissions, but now Ohno barely had the time to think of anything to paint. His savings were drastically decreasing ever since he took Kenta in, and he never wanted to ask for his parents for money.  
  
A sudden flash of lightning lit the small apartment, and another deafening thunder boomed. Kenta cried again with snot running down his nose.  
  
Ohno moaned. "Please, Kenta. It's alright. The thunder will go away-"  
  
"MaaaaMAAAA!"  
  
"Mama is not coming back," Ohno almost shouted back, his temper near reaching its peak again. "I am all you have left! So please, do me a favor and stop crying."  
  
But the poor autistic boy continued to cry, and all Ohno could do was rock and bounce back and forth to calm the small two year old. Maybe some warm milk will soothe him. Ohno carried his son into the kitchen, but because the lights were off, Ohno didn't see his toe ramming into a chair. Ohno hissed and groaned while clamping his teeth shut. He heard something fall with a clatter, and Ohno glanced down.  
  
His jacket slipped off from the chair Ohno bumped into, but a CD case fell out from the jacket pocket. With Kenta secured in his arm, Ohno careful bent over to pick up the CD. He completely forgot about it: the CD that Jun gave him. It's supposedly performed by an autistic man. Ohno heard stories of people with incredible talent despite their disabilities. He glanced down at his crying son. Could two individuals with the same disorder be able to understand each other?  
  
What other choice does he have...  
  
Ohno set Kenta back down on the futon, and he quickly retrieved his old boom box from the closet. Ohno plugged in the wire, praying the machine still worked. Thankfully, the numbers blinked on the screen, and Ohno popped open the lid. He placed the CD in and turned the volume low enough so it wouldn't scare Kenta.  
  
Through Kenta's screams, Ohno waited.  
  
Finally, he heard a violin play through the stereo. Musical instruments were not in Ohno's level of expertise, but this violin certainly sounded different from what he normally hears. It was almost like a voice, and it clearly pierced through the air even more so than the thunder. Gradually, Kenta's crying became whining gasps and sniffling. As the music continued, an orchestra entered in as background support. Yet the star of the piece remained with the violinist. For a while, Ohno was lost in the music too. He forgot about his endless job searching, his anxiety over Kenta's weight loss, and all his stress building up since the past few months.  
  
When the music switched to the next track, the sounds of crying and wet sniffling was absent within the mix. Ohno glanced down and saw Kenta sleeping and his mouth slightly open. The next track began playing, and the violinist played a new jolly tune. But it didn't stir Kenta awake. The small child continued to sleep through the piece and breathed deeply.  
  
A sob escaped Ohno's lips, and he quickly covered his mouth. But his eyes burned anyway and became watery.  
  
Finally....finally! Kenta was sleeping. He's really sleeping!  
  
"Thank god...thank god...." Ohno whispered to himself, wiping the tears away. "Thank you...thank you..."  
  
After another two songs, Ohno turned off the stereo and eased himself next to his son on the futon. He brought the blanket up before patting lightly on Kenta's belly. The boy looked utterly peaceful and absolutely adorable. Ohno brushed aside a few stray bangs from Kenta's forehead and admired his cute expression.  
  
The tired father laid his head down and finally had a good night's sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter was satisfying :3  
> i'm aiming for this to be a slow build, so i hope you'll all enjoy the ride!  
> sorry if there wasn't much aiba or jun. expect for it to be like that. aside from the main story, sometimes i'll have chapters were it's only sakumiya and ohno, or sakumiya and jun, but never all sakumiya, aiba, jun, and ohno's story happening. maybe, but not all the time. but there will always be sakumiya in each chapter :3


	5. Adagio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the past chapters have been trending lightly. but now we're finally stepping into PG13 zone. eventually, the story will hit its rated R moments, but until then Enjoy!  
> Music reference (since it's rather short, consider having it on repeat): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeAc0oh818s

"Number 25," the overhead speaker announced.  
  
Jun set the magazine back on the shelf before heading for the pharmacy stand. After going through identification and paying the pharmacist, Jun left the store with Kiko's prescription. Kiko already went home because her headache got worse, thus Jun waited for the order.  
  
He unlocked his front door and found the lights turned off. A bundle of blankets huddled on the couch, and it gently rose up and down as if it was alive. Jun eased himself on the floor next to the couch and carefully peeled back the layers. Kiko's face appeared under the sheets looking exhausted.  
  
"I brought you the medicine," Jun whispered, pulling out the tablet bottle. "I'll get some water."  
  
Kiko barely had the strength to nod or reply back, but Jun saw her slow blink and took that as a response. Jun quickly, and quietly, walked back to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. He returned to see Kiko trying to open the prescription bottle, but she couldn't hold a strong grip around the cap.  
  
Jun set down the glass on the coffee table. "Here." He took the bottle off her hands and twisted it open. Carefully reading the label, he counted the right amount of pills and set them next to the glass of water. He pulled back the remaining blankets off his wife and helped her sit up straight.  
  
"Jun...not so fast," Kiko moaned, holding her head. "I feel a little dizzy."  
  
"I'm sorry," he knelt in front of her and slowly rubbed her temples. "Just lean back. I have the medicine ready."  
  
Kiko made a contorted expression while wrapping her arm around her baby bump. Jun held the back of her head and eased her against the couch before scooping up the pills and dropping them into her palm. She popped the pills in her mouth, and Jun brought the glass of water to her lips until she pushed it away.  
  
"I'm sorry I made you wait for so long," Jun sighed and sat next to her. "The pharmacist was taking too long."  
  
Kiko started groaning even more and began leaning to the side. She used his lap as her pillow as she continued to clutch around her belly. "It hurts. These cramps hurt."  
  
Jun brushed her hair away from her face and neck, hoping it'll help cool her down. "Just rest now. Everything...everything will be alright."  
  
"Jun..."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Tell me a story," Kiko said. "A happy story. Something to get my mind off my high blood pressure."  
  
Jun's eyes wandered around the dark living room. His mind raced to find a decent story to tell his wife until a memory flicked inside his brain. He started with a smile.  
  
"Do you remember how I asked you out for our first date?"  
  
Kiko managed to let out a low chuckle. "I remember. You were completely drenched in your suit, and yet the two Ninomiya concert tickets were crispy clean and dry."  
  
"Yeah, well...I never told you how I got those tickets," Jun said. "When you first told me you were a fan of Nino, I'm going to be honest, I never knew who he was until you told me."  
  
"Really?!" Kiko giggled. "So you lied to me that time when you said you admire his work?"  
  
"Yeah, I lied," Jun nodded while petting her hair. "I only wanted to impress you."  
  
"You fooled me then."  
  
"But I wanted to show you how serious I was," Jun continued. "So I researched all that I could about Nino that night so I could continue the conversation the next day. I'm glad I stayed up until three in the morning for that." Jun's gaze drifted to the wall across from him, but his mind saw a distance and happy past. "My friends invited me to the summer festival even though I didn't want to go. But then I saw a wheel lottery for expensive prizes. One of them was the Nino tickets. When I saw them, I knew I had to get them."  
  
"How did you win?"  
  
"How do you think? By turning that blasted wheel all night!"  
  
Kiko gasped. "You stayed all night?!"  
  
"It was starting to rain too," Jun added. "My friends abandoned me, and my wallet was slowly depleting for trying so many times. The game host even felt sorry for me and begged me to stop. But I told him to let me spin the wheel again. No one was around since they all retreated for shelter. I stayed. Getting soaking wet and turning that wheel until finally," Jun leaned over to gaze lovingly down at his wife, "I won it."  
  
Kiko's eyes looked softer than earlier, and a faint smile appeared on her lips.  
  
"The game host was kind enough to put the tickets inside a plastic protection cover from the rain, and I raced back to your house," Jun sighed. "I didn't know what I was thinking. I should have waited until the next day when I was dry and at least more presentable. But I was just...so happy to finally win those tickets. I wanted to immediately give them to you. So I asked you out...in the heat of the moment."  
  
Kiko slapped his knee, but her low strength was hardly effective on Jun. "You slugger. You've always been thinking of me."  
  
"Naturally," Jun said smugly.  
  
Kiko pushed herself off to stare back at her husband. "What would I do without you?"  
  
Jun didn't reply back. Instead, he brought his lips to her forehead before he carried her to their bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and crawled in next to her. Kiko rolled to her side and lifted her oversize T-shirt to reveal her rounded belly. Jun ran his hand along her smooth skin, hoping he could feel some movement. Kiko quickly feel asleep, and Jun's calm expression slowly faded into a worried look. He draped his arm around her shoulder and scrunched his brow.  
  
"Please..." Jun mouthed, "...please be okay..."  
  
*****  
  
Sho listened intensely as Nino charade a difficult tune on his violin. Sho's brow furrowed as he hummed back the jingle; it sounded so familiar, yet Sho can't put a name to it.  
  
"One more," Sho begged.  
  
"One more," Nino repeated Sho's words.  
  
The pianist took a deep breath and shut his eyes tight to remove any distractions. Nino fiddled across his violin even faster than before until the jingle stopped. When Sho opened his eyes, he stared back at an eager man with a lively smile on his face. Nino's cheeks were slightly red, but Sho was to blame for that since he bought a bottle of wine. But playing musical charades was fun, and a little alcohol helped lighten the mood as well.  
  
"It's something to do with the weather," Sho mumbled, trying to egg out a clue from Nino.  
  
The brilliant violinist didn't utter a word. However, Nino's eyes were wide with excitement. Sho could sense he was close.  
  
"A weather announcement," Sho smiled wider when he saw Nino holding back his giggling. Sho repeated the tune again, waving around his hands in a slightly drunk manner, until his brain clicked. "A typhoon warning!"  
  
"Correct!"  
  
Sho clapped his hands in amusement. "I was about to say tsunami too!"  
  
"Your turn," Nino urged as he set his violin down and took another sip of his drink.  
  
Sho noticed Nino swaying a bit more than usual, and his face turned a darker shade of red every ten minutes. "I think you should stop drinking now."  
  
"But I like it," Nino answered. "I feel...I feel I can talk more. It's the New Years, so play the piano already. It's your turn."  
  
"Okay, one last time," Sho nodded.  
  
He swallowed another gulp of his wine before turning back to face the piano keys. The alcohol already slowed his fingers, but he could still play something. At this point, trumping Nino would give Sho great pleasure. But even slightly drunk, Nino was able to guess what song Sho played on the first try. The man's mental library was immense; Sho's knowledge was minuscule in comparison.  
  
He plucked three notes.  
  
"Calbee commercial!"  
  
"Eh?! Already!"  
  
"I win!" Nino cheered. "Because I know everything. I know all the sets and every melody. Therefore, I win!" Nino pumped his fist up in victory before sitting down next to Sho on the piano bench. "Sachi hardly lets me drink alcohol. I mean, I get drunk easily, but it's not like I'm going to get worse." Nino spun his legs around to face the piano. "Now, show me how to play a piece."  
  
Sho couldn't hold back his smug pout. "As drunk as you are, you probably won't remember."  
  
Nino narrowed his eyes at Sho but mimic the pianist's earlier pout. "Don't underestimate me when it comes to music." Nino tapped his temple. "It's all locked away in here. Besides, I'm not _that_  drunk. Now show me."  
  
Sho chuckled but set his hands down on the piano. "There's this one song I particularly like."  
  
He exhaled a long quiet breathe before he began playing the main melody with his right hand. Nino listened quietly as Sho added in the harmony part. Even though his belly grew warmer and his body movements gradually became slower, Sho played through the song perfectly.  
  
"Beethoven's Sonata Pathétique Adagio cantabile," Nino recited. He raised his eyebrow at Sho. "I could play the melody part on my violin with my eyes closed."  
  
"You like Beethoven too?"  
  
Nino gasped at him as if he said something absurd. "Like him? He was a genius like me! I know this because his music is different from the way the others play. He has a story in his music, and I can understand every note at the precise moment when he plays them."  
  
Sho watched amusingly as Nino held his hands out as if to describe Beethoven's music physically.  
  
"You cannot just listen to his music and feel nothing!" Nino continued his musical rant. "He's not some snobbish jerk like Mozart—though I do love playing Mozart—and he's not some demanding perfectionist like Bach—but I love playing Bach."  
  
"So what makes Beethoven so different?" Sho asked, reaching for his glass.  
  
"I can see his life," Nino uttered dramatically. "The man is not just composing music because it's his job. He's doing it to tell others his story. That's why when the audience doesn't pay attention to his piece, he would walk off stage in the middle of his performance, and I support that. The man is a storyteller. If no one is going to listen to him, why should he bother to continue playing for them? And every time I play the violin, I can make renditions of it as much as I want...because it's a story! Stories can be molded and shaped to the way you want it to be told. Music is the same."  
  
Sho stared back at Nino over the rim of his glass. "So that's how you were able to understand me?"  
  
Nino lowered his gaze. "In a way...yes. But you need to work on your story skills."  
  
"You mean my playing skill," Sho snorted.  
  
"Ah, so you finally realized it?"  
  
Sho clicked his tongue, but Nino ducked away from Sho's playful incoming hand. "Do you want to know how to play the piano or not?"  
  
"Wait," Nino stood up and wobbled a bit. "Let me get my cup."  
  
Nino gulped down the last of his beverage before fumbled his way back towards Sho. Suddenly, Nino slumped almost all of his upper body onto Sho's shoulders.  
  
"Whoa, Nino!" Sho quickly held onto the violinist. "You're really drunk now. I shouldn't have poured you that last glass."  
  
"One more piano piece..."  
  
"You know what, I think you've had enough. Come on. You should go to bed."  
  
But Nino's eyes were already closed, and his arm draped across Sho's lap. His face pressed against Sho's shoulder until his cheek pulled up to reveal a small gaping mouth. Nino's next words were only grumbles and groans. Sho pulled Nino to his feet, but the man was practically deadweight on Sho.  
  
"Let's go," the pianist sighed.  
  
Sho placed Nino's arm around his neck and heaved the drunken man up. Nino made a protesting moan, but Sho proceeded and half-dragged Nino down the hall. Nino's breath was close to Sho's face, and Sho turned his head away from the wretched stench. Nino's legs were jelly, but Sho kept a firm hold around Nino's waist.  
  
Finally, they arrived at Nino's bedroom. Not bothering to be gentle anymore, Sho hurled Nino onto the bed with a heavy huff. Nino didn't seem to care and immediately went to sleep. His left leg and arm were still dangling from the edge, and his neck would hurt in the morning if it stayed that bent. Sho grunted in the dark and helped set Nino's body in a more comfortable position.  
  
When he readjusted Nino's head onto the pillow, Sho spotted something sticking out from under the pillowcase. Sho reached under and pulled out a magazine.  
  
"What's this?" Sho mumbled to himself.  
  
It was an ANAN magazine. Every other page was a male model in a stunning suit or a tight-fitting clothes. A couple of pages were pictures of cars, articles about men's health, or updates on new releases that came out years ago. But Sho noticed some pages were ticked. Especially the pages of half-naked men.  
  
"Nino looks at this stuff?" Sho whispered to him in shock.  
  
He glanced down at the sleeping violinist whose mouth was slightly open. Judging from the page wear, Nino had this magazine for a while. Did Sachi knew about this? It never occur to Sho what was Nino's sexual preference, and perhaps Sachi never touched on the subject either. Sho closed the magazine and placed it besides Nino's pillow where it wouldn't disturb his neck. If Nino hid it, then the man didn't want to mention it.  
  
Nino suddenly groaned in his sleep and swung his arms over his head before he stopped moving. His T-shirt rode up to show his pale fleshy midriff. Sho inhaled sharply. Laying down, Nino's waist looked flatter. Sho could easily wrap his arms around it. The softness of Nino's skin came back to Sho's mind; he wondered if Nino's stomach was just as smooth...  
  
No! Stop!  
  
Sho hurried out the door and made his way toward his bedroom. He didn't bother to wash up, and he collapsed on his bed. What is the matter with him? He promised Sachi he wouldn't do anything, and Sho didn't have any intentions to approach Nino sexually in the first place. He was here purely for work. As soon as Sachi returns from her business trip, Sho can go back to visiting Nino only for a few hours.  
  
Sho rolled to his side, snugging the blanket close to his body, and closed his eyes.  
  
Suddenly, he heard his door creaking open. The hallway light spilled into his room, but the light never reached his bed, so Sho pretend he was still asleep. He recognized Nino's footsteps across the hardwood floor until they stopped at the foot of his bed.  
  
"Hmm? Nino?"  
  
Sho lifted his head up, but his eyes gradually widen. His heart stopped. Nino stood completely naked and staring back at Sho. The pianist couldn't even utter a word; his jaw was stuck open. Nino's skin gave off a healthy glow against the hallway light, and his face was no longer drunk red. His body looked so clean, and Nino made a sly smile as he crawled into Sho's bed. His heart leaped to his throat, and he tried to back away from the naked man. But Nino kept advancing until he had Sho trapped under him. Sho never saw that expression before.  
  
"Nino...wha-what are you..."  
  
The violinist placed a finger on Sho's lips, and Nino traced along Sho's chin and down his neck. The roughness of Nino's callus was even to send shivers along Sho's skin and making his hair stand. Nino sat on Sho's lap and reached for Sho's hand. He guided it to touch along his bare thigh. As if his body was responding on its own, Sho placed his other hand on Nino's hip and caressed his way around to Nino's rear.  
  
Nino rolled his head back as Sho hands traced along Nino's chest, across the nipples, over the collarbone, and down the arms. The heat rose in Sho's stomach, and his mouth was still partly open. Nino seemed caught up in the moment as well. Grinding against Sho's cotton pants, exposing his neck, and ruffling his hair in a seductive dance.  
  
Sho wanted more...he wanted more...  
  
Everything seemed like a blur. A fog. Sho was tasting him, and yet it didn't felt lasting. There was warmth, but it felt superficial. He saw Nino's naked body underneath him, but Sho wasn't really seeing anything. The tears in Nino's eyes looked so real and beautiful, their fingers locked tight and Sho's bare chest pressed close to Nino, but the sensation left him dissatisfied. Soon, Nino started fading. His gasps became an echo. Light hit Sho's eyelids, and he squinted them open. He was still fully clothed in bed, and his bedroom door was still closed.  
  
Sho groaned into his hands. "It was just a dream."  
  
Even though his eyelids still felt heavy, and his head still swimming, Sho could feel his heart thumped against his chest. It's been a long time since Sho had a sex dream...  
  
*****

The snow had finally let up. Even though the sky was still a little cloudy, stretching their legs and breathing in fresh air would be good for both of them at the park. Ever since he finally found a part-time job at the fishing auction warehouse, Ohno rarely gets time to spend with his son. He actually missed cooking meals for Kenta, changing Kenta's diapers, and even bathing with Kenta. He's truly grateful for his mother's help, but this time around Ohno wanted to play with Kenta in the snow.  
  
"Kenta," Ohno said. "Let's play outside!"  
  
The little two-year-old didn't reply back but continue to play with his toy cars. Ohno smirked anyway and opened the closet. Ohno became used to Kenta's lack of response; it never bothered him whenever Kenta gave him dead silence as his answer. He reached for a bag and began packing things he would need: extra clothes, tissues, bubble bottles and wands to play, and a small first aid kit.  
  
"Ah, the diapers," Ohno mumbled to himself. He picked up Kenta from the floor and brought the boy's butt close to his nose. "Still clean...but just in case."  
  
Ohno carefully set Kenta down before returning back to the closet for extra diapers. As he reached the baby powder, his hand knocked over a blank canvas and his old paintbrushes came rolling out. Ohno bent down to pick them up, but one of the brushes reached Kenta's leg.  
  
Kenta glanced down at the paintbrush and picked it up. There was still old paint on the wooden handle, but Kenta continued to roll the stick in his hands as if the brush was already a portrait. Ohno squatted down next to him, making sure the boy didn't put the brush near his mouth. Kenta saw the other brushes in Ohno's hand, and his tiny hand immediately reached out to them.  
  
"You wanna paint?" Ohno asked. "We can paint in the park."  
  
Kenta started squealing and babbling happily. Ohno took that as an exciting yes. He searched back inside his closet for a smaller canvas and instead found a drawing pad and some colored pencils. It'll have to do. Carrying a large canvas and paint would be too much.  
  
After he put on Kenta's shoes, a thick jacket, and fixed his hat, Ohno carried the bag and the art supplies with both hands. "Kenta, you'll have to follow me, okay?"  
  
Kenta made whoo-ing sounds like a police car, but the boy got up and followed Ohno out the door.  
  
_"He's behaving well today,"_  Ohno thought.  
  
When they finally reached the park, the sun started peeking through and other people were also out and about. Young teens were already having a snowball fights, and couples walked close to each other. Ohno brushed the snow off the bench and set down his bag and art supplies. He lifted Kenta onto the bench and sat down next to him. Ohno handed his son a blank drawing pad and pencils.  
  
"What are you going to draw, Kenta?" Ohno asked, even though he knew Kenta wouldn't answer back.  
  
The boy reached for a red pencil and started drawing. Ohno, too, picked up a blue pencil and began light sketching. He started out sketching a small toy car and showed it to Kenta. The boy made more "ooo"-ing sounds of excitement. Kenta recognized his toy car, and Ohno couldn't help but giggle as Kenta try to grab the car from the pages.  
  
"How about I draw that pigeon over there?" Ohno said, pointing with his pencil.  
  
Kenta replied with a gibberish word but pointed also at the bird.  
  
"Pigeon, Kenta," Ohno repeated. "Pi-geo-n."  
  
"Pijo!" Kenta squealed, and Ohno started laughing.  
  
They started drawing the same bird, and thankfully the pigeon stayed put as if it knew it was being modeled. Ohno quickly became absorbed into his drawing. It's been awhile since he held a pencil in his hand. For the past five months, it's been Kenta 24-hours a day for seven days a week. Ohno found a job for Kenta. Ohno started cooking for Kenta. Ohno paid for autistic therapy for Kenta. Ohno cleaned the house quietly for Kenta. Everything was for Kenta. It has been so long since Ohno took the time to enjoy for himself.  
  
But when he glanced down and saw Kenta attempting to replicate the same drawing as his own, Ohno felt something swell inside him. A sense of pride? Admiration? Ohno wasn't sure, but his expression slowly grew into a smug face.  
  
His solitude days might as well have belong to a past life. He couldn't even remember what he would do during his spare time other than laying around drinking beer. Changing stinky diapers doesn't bother Ohno anymore. Planning for meals was still tiresome, but Ohno enjoyed seeing Kenta's cheeks looking so round compare to his tiny mouth. Without realizing it, Ohno began dotting on Kenta.  
  
An hour flew by and pages upon pages of drawings covered their bench. Kenta kept ripping the pages rather than flipping it over the spiral bound. As the pile grew larger, the wind started to pick up. Soon, a couple of pages drifted away from a strong gust.  
  
"Ah!" Ohno gasped. He stood up and made an attempt to catch the nearby pages, but a few fluttered farther away. Ohno glanced back and saw Kenta busy drawing a tree. "I'll come back real quickly," Ohno mumbled to himself.

  
Ohno chased after Kenta's drawings and counted. There should be two more. Ohno made a quick jog along the pathway and saw two white pages littered on the ground. Sighing with relief, Ohno picked up the remaining pages and dusted off the dirt. But when he glanced down at the drawings, Ohno couldn't make out the picture. Kenta used an orange and a blue colored pencil for this drawing. The lines were crooked, and Kenta shaded in too much.  
  
But then, Ohno recognized his shirt.  
  
That was the T-shirt Ohno always wore. The drawing showed only his shoulders, neck, and face. But it was him nonetheless. Ohno gazed at the other drawing and realized it was the kitchen. Kenta had drawn Ohno's back, legs, and feet in crooked rectangles, but Ohno could make out his short hair poking out to represent his head. It took seconds for Ohno to realize it was Kenta drawing him cooking. When he looked through the other drawings, Ohno noticed nearly all of them had some form of himself. He was either sitting in the distance waving or sitting close by, smiling in the drawing.  
  
"Kenta," Ohno sighed admiringly.  
  
He walked back the way he came while flipping through the pages. By the time he came around the bend of the pathway, Ohno saw the bench was empty. His heart made a sickening flip, and the sun disappeared behind a cloud. The cold air made Ohno's skin crawl, and he hurried to the bench. Kenta's drawing pad was also missing.  
  
"Kenta?" Ohno called out. "Kenta!"  
  
He started jogging in the other direction, his eyes scanning the scenery as far as he could for a little boy. Ohno clicked his tongue, annoyed with himself. He shouldn't have left Kenta alone! He only meant to chase after the scattered pages and come back. But he had to get caught up with Kenta's drawings and be emotional about it. Ohno's stomach churned with fear, and his heart pounded faster.  
  
"KENTA!" Ohno shouted.  
  
A goose honked back at his loud voice, and Ohno turned his head in its direction. Ohno raced down towards the pond and saw a family of geese swimming away. At the edge, Kenta sat down with the drawing pad on his lap. Ohno let out a long slow sigh and walked down the hill towards his son.  
  
"Kenta," Ohno called out more calmly. His son glanced up at his name. "You scared me. I thought...I thought something happened to you. Why didn't you wait for me at the bench?"  
  
"Pijo!" Kenta said, pointing at the goose.  
  
Ohno squatted down next to him. "That's not a pigeon, Kenta. It's a goose."  
  
"Guuu..."  
  
Kenta seemed to like the new word and started repeating "guu" over and over again. But he looked happy, and seeing Kenta close by gave Ohno a great sense of relief. He'll never do that again. Kenta liked his goose drawing and held it up close to his face and muttering "guu." Ohno noticed the mud got all over Kenta's pants, so he picked up Kenta and carried him back to the bench. There should be a nearby restroom he could use to change Kenta's clothes.  
  
Ohno just finished packing everything away in his bag when he heard his cell phone ringing. When he glanced down at the screen, Ohno's heart stop for a split second.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me," Ohno frowned, but he pressed the answer button and held it up to his ear.  
  
"Satoshi...it's me."  
  
"...Minami."  
  
*****  
  
Sho went through the massive music collection on Nino's shelf. The CD albums took up the most space, but Sho easily found what he was looking for. It was another compilation of Beethoven's violin concertos and sonatas but played by another violinist. Sho's desire to study Beethoven's work increased since their last practice, and the track list showed a familiar title that Sho has been practicing: Beethoven's Sonata for Piano and Violin no5 in F Major "Spring Sonata".  
  
One day, Nino plucked the music book from his shelf and placed it on the piano rack. It was the first time, in a long time, Sho was able to sight-read the music score with little mistakes. The tempo switches often from slow and soft to fast and lively. Still, he had no problem keeping up with Nino. The calming beginning helped Sho feel at ease to prepare himself for the faster notes. On that day, they ran through the full score exceptionally well that Sho felt proud of himself.  
  
However, midway through the piece, Sho noticed Nino was slacking behind. As soon as he picked up Nino's change of pace, Sho matched with him. But it was unlike Nino to fall behind. He wondered if it was just another of Nino's way of performing, or if Sho read the piece wrong. Which was why Sho was looking through Nino's music collection.  
  
He popped in the CD into the stereo and listened to the recording. This violinist played wonderfully, but Sho couldn't help but think Nino played it better.  
  
Sho snorted. "I'm starting to think like him now."  
  
But then Sho recognized the part when Nino fell behind. The off-beats with the piano were tricky to read at first, but Sho understood when he finished listening. He played the piano exactly how it should be, and Sho made sure he was with Nino with every measure. The piano wasn't the problem.  
  
Nino fell behind on purpose. But why?  
  
"Sho?"  
  
He glanced up and saw Nino peeking his head around the entrance of the practice room. "Ah, Nino. I was just listening to your CDs. You've got quite a collection."  
  
Nino made a proud face and strolled into the room. "I've listened to every one of them. And I can play them all on my violin."  
  
Sho raised his brow. "I know. I've listened to some over a hundred times already." He took the CD out from the stereo and placed it back in its case before placing it back to its original place. "What shall we practice today? The same as before? I was listening to it just now because...well, I thought you were falling behind, but maybe I was wrong-"  
  
"No, you're right," Nino answered surprisingly quickly. "I was slow yesterday."  
  
Sho blinked. "It's not like you. Is your wrist still bothering you? Is that why?"  
  
Nino shook his head and stared down at the floor. "I was...listening."  
  
"Listening to what? The piano?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Sho huffed a bit as if Nino made a joke. "I'm glad, but that's my job. I'm supposed to keep up with you. If you slow down, then I slow down."  
  
"I couldn't help myself but listen to your part more," Nino said, moving towards his violin case. "You were really echoing me. On my trill notes, I heard yours copying back. It was really good, and for that moment I...I kinda liked it. So I slowed down because I wanted to hear it better." He glanced over his shoulder. "Sorry if I made you confused. I'll try not to do it again."  
  
Sho's hidden pride seem to reappear again, and a small sense of fulfillment wallowed over him. He cleared his throat. "Do you want to try?"  
  
This time, Nino fully turned around with his hand still winding his bow. "Me? Play the piano? I've only been able to play with my right hand. I don't think I can-"  
  
"I'll teach you," Sho said almost eagerly. "I mean, not this piece of course. Maybe something more simple."  
  
Nino set his bow down and seemed more anticipated than usual. "How about the one you played a few nights ago? Beethoven's Sonata Pathétique Adagio cantabile."  
  
Sho smirked. "You really do like that piece."  
  
Nino glanced back with smiling eyes. "It's one of my favorites."  
  
Sho gulped. It's been only three days since Sho had his sex dream, and he was thankful he hasn't had one since. Yet it was still lingering in his mind during the waking hours. Sho tried not to think about it, but his eyes would wander to where Nino would be. Sitting, eating, watching TV, practice alone. It was the subtle movements that intrigued Sho.  
  
Nino was absolutely captivating to watch.  
  
Sho gazed down at the piano keys. "I'll play the first few measures."  
  
He started off as softly and as gently as he could. The piece was meant to be played with grace and elegance. The minute the melody rang throughout the practice room, Sho's nerves seemed to calm down as if the magic of Beethoven's work soothed Sho's tensed shoulders.  
  
But before he continued, he stopped and faced Nino.  
  
"Now you try," Sho said.  
  
Nino's brow pitched with concentration as he stared down at the numerous black and white keys. "W-where do I start?"  
  
"Here...this is the scale. B flat, E flat, A flat, and D flat," Sho pointed. "This is the first chord."  
  
Nino nodded to himself. "I see..."  
  
Then, Nino tried to play the rest of the melody, but he misplaced his fingers. Nino groaned with annoyance at the off sounding tune.  
  
"No, no. Like this."  
  
Sho moved to touch Nino's fingers, but the violinist withdrew his hand away from Sho's reach. They shared an awkward gaze before glancing back at the keys. Sho felt his neck growing hot, but he swallowed his saliva, hoping his voice wouldn't crack.  
  
"Copy what I do," Sho said evenly.  
  
He placed his right hand on an octave lower and played out the first nine notes of the melody. Nino copied just as easily, and then Sho carried out playing the next nine notes. Sure enough, Nino was familiar with the beginning half of the piece.  
  
But Nino placed his hand back on his lap looking dissatisfied.  
  
"That was a lot easier than I thought," Nino said, his brow still furrowed. "I know the second hand won't be."  
  
"But you play the violin with your left hand," Sho pointed out.  
  
Nino rolled his eyes at him. "Tell me what I don't know." He sighed and stared back down at the piano. "I know I can play a lot faster with my left hand, but that's the problem. The music is in my head, I know it. But..." Nino rubbed his hair with frustration, "I need a little help with this."  
  
Sho gazed back at Nino's profile, wondering what he could do to help. He watched Nino play the melody part again, perfectly, and try an attempt to play the harmony part. His connection with using two hands gave him the most trouble, and Nino started moaning. It was his persistence in music that seemed to tug Sho's chest. The man would not give up on the chance to play a beautiful piece.  
  
"I have an idea," Sho uttered. "Place your left hand over mine."  
  
Nino side-glanced at him with a confused gaze. "Why?"  
  
"Rather than memorizing which notes to play next..." Sho gulped before he continued, "why not memorize through movement?"  
  
Nino's expression softened, and Sho felt his face growing warm.  
  
"Just...let my hand guide you," Sho said. "Memorize where I placed my fingers, and maybe you can have a better understanding. It'll be like memorizing the fingers on your violin."  
  
Sho placed his left hand on the piano and waited. Nino seemed hesitated at first; his eyes would dart back at the piano, on his lap, and back to Sho's hand. Finally, Nino reached out placed his short hand over Sho's elongated hand. Nino's palm was warm, and his touch made Sho's heart flutter. Suddenly, images of his sex dream flickered across his mind; the way Nino's hands laced with his own and his chest pressed against Sho's back...  
  
Sho shut his eyes immediately to shake off the image. He snapped his eyes open and focused on the piano. "Ready?"  
  
Nino nodded and played the first melody note. Sho pressed down the harmony notes with Nino's hand laying still on top. Nino focused on playing the melody while Sho listened to Nino's tempo. Whenever Sho spaced out his fingers, Nino shadowed. When they finished the beginning segment, Nino began grinning.  
  
"I think I got it," he mumbled.  
  
Sho rolled his head to stretch his neck. "That's good. Want to keep going?"  
  
"I know the rest of the melody to the ending," Nino said confidently. "Let's finish it to the end."  
  
"Alright then."  
  
But Sho's neck and shoulders grew sore from the awkward position. He swung one leg over the piano bench, and he scooched closer to Nino. Noticing the change of position, Nino glanced back at Sho with a startled frown.  
  
"I just need to get closer so we can play better," Sho explained himself quickly, but he still felt his stomach growing warm with nervousness. "Don't mind me. J-just focus on the music."  
  
Gradually, Nino's shoulders relaxed as he glanced down at the piano. He placed his hand over Sho's again, and they played the first set of measures. Sho leaned in closer to make sure Nino's right hand played correctly. Realizing his closeness, Sho backed away and carried on playing the harmony part. But his palms grew sweaty, and his heart pounded faster in his chest. The off rhythm in his chest nearly made him miss his harmony cue. Then, the sex dream memory came back.  
  
Sho's brow knitted tight as he tried to focus on the music. But then his thoughts became filled with his time spent with Nino in the practice room. Despite their earlier frustration, they worked things out. Playing with Nino became a joy and rather exciting. Sho accepted each challenge thrown at him and did his utter best to keep up with Nino.  
  
Then, Sho's hands moved slower to match the melody. His surroundings slowed down and all that mattered was the calm and benign moment within the practice room. There was warmth radiating from Nino's body, and Sho found it soothing. There was no other thoughts running through his head now. It was just them and their music; even with them sitting so close didn't seem a bother but rather comforting. His troubled past seemed so far away now, and his life was finally coming into order again. Being with Nino, and playing the piano once again, he was truly grateful.  
  
Together, they plucked the last note, but their hands still stayed together. The dead silence didn't seem as awkward; the music still resonated inside their heads. Nino turned his head and gazed into Sho's eyes. And in that instant, the atmosphere seemed to change. They both held their breaths, searching into each other's gaze. Sho's heartbeat thumped harder against his ears, and his eyes darted down at Nino's bottom lip...  
  
Suddenly, they heard Sho's cell phone ringing from down the hallway. The tension released between them, and Nino quickly stood up. Sho rubbed his face and sighed heavily. Sho got up and left the practice room. Most likely it was Sachi to check up on them.  
  
Sho answered it. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello, is this Sakurai Sho?" A male voice spoke on the other end.  
  
Sho frowned slightly. "Yes. Who is this?"  
  
"I'm Doctor Seiji from the National Medical Center. I'm calling because your mother is in the hospital."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was that a weak cliffhanger? XDD
> 
> well actually quite a lot of cliffhangers in this chapter. jun and his worry for kiko. ohno getting a call from his ex wife. and now sho getting call about his mom! plus sex dream :3
> 
> next chapter might be will be intense.


	6. Verismo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you know how i said last chapter is finally entering pg13. well, i guess you can say the rated R mark is going to kick it here. so please PLEASE take note of the warnings. very important!  
> Music reference: Devil's Trill Sonata - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7rxl5KsPjs

Ohno sighed for the tenth time as he stirred his morning miso soup. Kenta played quietly in the living room with his new paints after—messily—finishing his breakfast. Ohno made sure he bought the non-toxic brand in case Kenta eats it, but the boy behaved himself. Kenta was more interested in getting the colors on the page than on his face. Ohno enjoyed watching his son become glued to the canvas until it was completely covered with colors. Ohno himself would prop up his larger canvas and paint alongside with his son. They finally have something in common, but that's not what's bothering him.  
  
Ohno inhaled deeply and sighed for the eleventh time. Then, the phone rang.  
  
"Ring ring!" Kenta echoed the noise.  
  
Ohno set his spoon down and answered the call. "Hello?"  
  
"It's me again," Minami said. "Don't hang up on me this time!"  
  
Ohno glanced back at his son who was still oblivious to his surroundings except for his painting. Ohno leaned against the wall and tugged his other arm close to his body. "I can hang up any time I want to. And I don't care how many times we've had this conversation, I'm not giving Kenta back."  
  
"You didn't even bother to listen to me the first time I called you."  
  
" _I've_  been trying to reach you ever since you first brought him to me!" Ohno whispered angrily so he wouldn't scare Kenta. "Where were you then, huh?" Ohno's frown deepened. "It's already been half a year since then, and now you decided to call?"  
  
"I have a right to see my son!" Minami argued back.  
  
"I will not let you," Ohno said, his voice raising a bit. "You abandoned him inside a shopping bag and only one toy for him. What kind of mother would do that to him?!"  
  
"You will give me back my son or I will call my lawyer!"  
  
Ohno clicked his tongue. "You can't afford one."  
  
"My new husband can," Minami said rather proudly. "He has helped me through so much, and when I told him I have a son, he was more than willing to care for the child despite his disability."  
  
"You don't want anything to do with Kenta!" Ohno fumed. "Why now do you suddenly care about him?"  
  
"You think I don't care about him?!" Minami screamed into the phone. "I love him! He is my son, you asshole! I had lost my job last year, and I was struggling just to get food on the table. My parents never helped me because they thought it's  _my-y_  fault that I got pregnant with Kenta! We never filed for child support, and no was there to help me-e! I had no other choice but to leave him with you!"  
  
Ohno's throat felt tight as he heard Minami's cracked voice turn into sobs through the other end. "You...you could have told me. You could have called me that Kenta needed help."  
  
Minami took a moment to calm her voice down. "I didn't think of asking for your help until the last moment. Even if I did called, you wouldn't help me either—Don't! Don't start that with me! I know you. You were always so focused on yourself even when we were married. You were never home. It was always about finding your muse. How many artist trips did you went this time? I hope you didn't left Kenta on his own-"  
  
"I'm not like that anymore," Ohno growled. "I would never leave Kenta alone. Just so you know, I have a decent job that is getting us by. I've settled down."  
  
"So no more of your stupid 'finding yourself' getaways?" Minami mocked.  
  
"Kenta has become a part of my life now," Ohno said. "And nothing you do can stop it. I'm hanging up now-"  
  
"I lied to you."  
  
Ohno's heart paused for a painful millisecond, and he brought the phone back to his ear. "What?"  
  
"I lied...on the note," Minami said monotonously. "You're not Kenta's father. I only wrote it so that you would take better care of Kenta as if he was your son."  
  
"Quit trying to fool me. It's not going to-"  
  
"He doesn't look a thing like you!" Minami emphasized. "You have no right to care for him since he is not your son!"  
  
Ohno felt as if his heart turned to stone and sank deep into his stomach. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Kenta was still busy with his painting. There was a time when Ohno suspected if Kenta really was his real son. The boy looked more like his mother. Ohno had thought he pushed the pending thought away, but still...  
  
"I'll be coming over this weekend to pick him up," Minami continued. "Kenta will live a better life with me. He'll have a stable financial support for his needs. And he'll be with his  _real_ family." Ohno felt the inner corner of his eyes stinging. "If you don't hand him back, I will have my husband find a lawyer."  
  
She hung up and the dial tone rang deep inside Ohno's ear drum. His eyes wouldn't leave Kenta. He feared if he blinked, Kenta will disappear right then and there.  
  
The small child lifted up his newly finished piece and held it up for Ohno to see. "Papa!"  
  
Ohno felt the familiar tightness in his throat again.  
  
*****  
  
Sho sat in the chair beside his mother's hospital bed. He was busy peeling apples while bickering to his mother. "You're perfectly fine. Why do you want me to peel your apples?"  
  
"Quit moping and take care of your sickly poor mother," she teased at him and took a bite on one of the apple slices.  
  
"Honestly, I don't know why I had to have such a panic attack when the doctor called me," Sho pouted. "Do you know how far it is from Nino's house to the hospital? He was so stubborn when we're traveling on the bus when I realized I didn't had enough gas in my car. Nino keeps growling and saying he wants to play music when I was having an emergency."  
  
"That Nino boy is so sweet," she said admiringly, completely ignoring her son's rant. "I heard he's holding a concert for this hospital to bring awareness for the children of disabilities."  
  
Sho sighed heavily and decided to drop his rant. "Yeah, it's true. And I'll be the piano accompanist."  
  
"And you never bothered to tell me this?!"  
  
"You had a bad asthma attack!" Sho argued back. "I was more concerned about you then telling you I was living with Nino."  
  
His mother chuckled at him. "I am feeling better now, so you don't have to worry about me. Now tell me all about what you think of Nino."  
  
Sho pouted and set down more apple slices on her tray. "What's there to say? He's a great musician and practically world famous." The corner of Sho's lip turned up. "He's also stubborn, annoying, childish, and repetitive. But that's because of his autism. Aside from his musical gift, he's a real pain in the butt. I can hardly think straight around him."  
  
"So you like him."  
  
Sho rolled his eyes. "Mom!"  
  
"You don't realize that when you talk about someone you like, you smirk just like that," she said, pointing at his face. "A good mother knows her children. And I can tell you're already fond of him before you even come to notice it yourself."  
  
"Give me a break," Sho moaned as his mother laughed at him.  
  
"Where is Nino anyway?" She asked. "He was here an hour ago."  
  
"He probably got sick of hearing your nagging voice like me," Sho teased back and stood up. "I'll go look for him."  
  
It was a large hospital. Nino could be anywhere, but Sho suspected he'll go to some place familiar. Sho headed back to the front desk and took a look at the list of departments. Sachi had left him a reminder that this was the same hospital where Nino visits his doctor. It was a guess, but Sho decided to search for this Aiba Masaki.  
  
Following the signs, Sho headed for the neurology department. He found the room to Aiba's office and knocked on the door.  
  
"Excuse me?" Sho poked his head inside, but the office was empty.  
  
"Can I help you?" Someone spoke behind him.  
  
Sho whirled around and saw a man wearing light-tan trousers and a green and white checkered sweater. "Ah, I'm sorry. Are you Doctor Aiba?"  
  
"Yes," Aiba nodded and pushed his glasses closer to the bridge of his nose. "How may I help you?"  
  
"I'm looking for Ninomiya Kazunari," Sho explained. "I'm watching him while Sachi is away on a business trip, but my mother is in the hospital so I took Nino with me. And now I can't find him anywhere."  
  
Aiba smiled. "Ah, so you're the piano man."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Sachi informed me about you before she left," Aiba nodded, slipping his hands into the pockets of his white coat. "I'll help you find Nino. In fact...I think I know where he might be. Come."  
  
They walked together down the hallways until they reached the children's ward. Sho's eyebrows rose at the sight of the kids running around and playing in the colorful lobby. There were building blocks and large cushions for them to play. The children wore their hospital pajamas in different colors and kiddie designs. Some wore beanie hats while others sat peaceful with white bandages over their heads.  
  
"This is..."  
  
"The children that Nino's concert is fund-raising," Aiba said with a soft grin that reached his eyes. "Our children's department receives the lowest financial support. We need a large donation drive, and Nino's concert will help them." Sho turned to glance at the smiling man next to him. "I wasn't a doctor here for long, but they told me Nino used to play here when he was a child. His sister thought it would be a great place for Nino to develop his social skills. In the end, Nino would always go for the toy ukulele. He always liked string instruments."  
  
Sho followed Aiba through the giggling children, but they didn't find an adult male. It's been almost two months since Sho started practicing with Nino. Majority of the time was frustrating for Sho, but he forgot what they were practicing for. Nino's concert was for these kids. He forgot the concert was for them...  
  
"Do you hear that?" Aiba frowned.  
  
Sho strained his ears to block out the shouting children. In the distance, he heard a piano playing. He followed the source of the noise with Aiba close behind him. The hallway opened up to another lobby center where a wooden console piano was placed at the center of the room. Nino was in the front and playing the piano, and a few kids surrounded him at the bench. Sho recognized the melody immediately.  
  
It was the piece they practiced together, Beethoven's Sonata Pathétique. Nino's ability to memorize the piano piece in its entirety after one practice still boggled Sho's mind. Although he was slightly slower than the original piece, Nino still played the notes perfectly and performed with such grace and emotion. The children were in complete awe at him.  
  
"Ah, that's right," Aiba smirked, rubbing the back of his head. "We got that piano a couple of months ago. It also counts as a string instrument, right?" Aiba turned to grin at Sho. "No wonder Nino had such a fascination for you."  
  
Sho could only blink with his lips slightly parted; he didn't even noticed a man with tattered jeans walking past him to pick up his son. When the song was over, Nino glanced up and smiled at Sho. Nino turned his attention back to the children around him. They begged him to play another song while the only father in the room carried his son. Aiba went to talk to the man with tattered jeans while Sho walked towards Nino.  
  
"May I sit here?" Sho asked, and the kids kindly moved so he could sit next to Nino.  
  
"Sho, play a song," Nino requested.  
  
*****  
  
Aiba approached Ohno. "Looks like your son became a fan of Nino too."  
  
"I never thought I would meet him here," Ohno said and glanced back at the autistic man at the piano. "I thought celebrities were always out of reach."  
  
"Only if you don't know them," Aiba shrugged. "Nino happens to be my patient as well."  
  
"Small world," Ohno nodded. "Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's something I need to ask."  
  
"Sure. What is it?"  
  
Ohno sucked in his bottom lip and began avoiding eye contact. "There's something I've been doubting for some time. About Kenta's autism...is it true that it can be passed down through genetics?"  
  
"There is a possibility, but we can't be too sure," Aiba said, his smile waning. "Autism is still a mystery to us in some sense. Especially the cause of it. Why do you ask?"  
  
"I just...I need to know if I'm the cause of it," Ohno said with a sadden frown. "My ex-wife...she thinks she can take Kenta away because...well, I need to know that I'm-"  
  
"I think I understand," Aiba nodded slowly. "I can request for a blood test, but it'll take-"  
  
"Mama!" Kenta suddenly blurted out and pointed with his finger.  
  
Ohno and Aiba snapped their heads in the direction. Minami came walking down the hall in tall high heels, a sharp blue and black dress, and large sunglasses. A stern-looking foreign man in a business suit and briefcase followed behind her. He towered over everyone in the room, and his neck was as thick as his head. Ohno's heart sank as Kenta made squeals while opening and closing his hands at her. Ohno pulled Kenta closer to his chest.  
  
"So this is the hospital you brought Kenta to," Minami greeted them and took off her glasses. Her eyes were just as piercing as Ohno remembered them. The shadow under her eyes were still there, but Ohno could sense she carried herself with a new aura. It had been years since Ohno last saw her.  
  
"How did you know?" Ohno frowned at her.  
  
"My husband has powerful sources," she answered in a smug tone.  
  
"Mama!" Kenta reached his arms out to her again.  
  
Minami pouted her lips to her son. "Oooh, Kenta! My baby! I missed you so much." She held her arms out to hold him.  
  
But Ohno turned to give her a cold shoulder. He glared at her fiercely. "You stay away from him."  
  
Minami dropped her arms and called over her shoulder. "Akira."  
  
The man behind her stepped forth and spoke in a thick American accent. "I'm Bages' lawyer. You have no legal or physical custody of this child. According to her testimony, you are not Kenta's biological father-"  
  
"Y-you can't know that!" Ohno shouted. "How would you know?! Why don't we prove it?!"  
  
"The time we spent together does not equate to when I became pregnant with Kenta," Minami cut in. "That was the whole reason why we got a divorce in the first place, right? Because you knew I was seeing someone!"  
  
The atmosphere became heavy. Some of the children began watching them instead of listening to the piano players. Even Kenta covered his ears over their raised voices.  
  
Aiba tried to come between them. "Please. This is a hospital. If you must settle this matter, take it outside-"  
  
But Minami ignored him. "Admit it! You know he's not really your son! You suspected, didn't you?!"  
  
Ohno fumbled for words. "At least...at least I didn't gave up on him! Even if I was dirt poor, I wouldn't abandoned him like you did!"  
  
"Enough! I will be taking my son back," Minami said, her hands on her hips. "Akira."  
  
The stern man looked strong even in a suit. Ohno backed away. "No! I-I won't let you."  
  
The piano stopped playing, and Kenta started crying. Ohno tried shoved away the big American man, but he was strong and took a quick step foward. Suddenly, Ohno lost his footing and fumbled backwards. Luckily, someone caught him from behind.  
  
"Are you alright?" The man said.  
  
"Y-yes," Ohno steady himself while still holding Kenta in his arms. He glanced up and smiled at the handsome man. "Thanks."  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Minami screeched.  
  
Ohno quickly gazed back at her and saw her face warped and completely horrified. He looked back at the man who helped him and saw the man's face turn pale like a ghost.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU BRING KENTA CLOSE TO THAT MAN!" Minami shouted and reached for Kenta. She practically ripped Kenta away from Ohno's arms and held him close to her chest. Kenta began crying louder as Minami pointed accusingly at the man. "He's the one who sexually assaulted me!"  
  
Ohno stared at the man with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Aiba also looked shocked, but the man in question looked frightened and slowly backed away. Ohno couldn't believe it himself. This...this was the guy...  
  
"He shouldn't even be in a place like this!" Minami continued to shout at him. "This should be the last place he should ever be! Someone grab him! Arrest him!"  
  
But the man already turned on his heels and bolted down the hall. No one chased after him, but Nino called out to him.  
  
"Sho! Where are you going? Sho!"  
  
Ohno turned his attention back to Minami. She glared at him with disapproval and distrust. A few nurses and staff members came to the scene when they heard the commotion. Kenta was the only one crying and making noises.  
  
"Let's go, Akira," she uttered and walked back the way she came.  
  
Ohno was about to follow her, but Akira pushed him away with a thick hand. The man might as well be a bodyguard rather than a lawyer; there was no way Ohno could take him down. Aiba placed a hand on his shoulder as they watched Kenta being carried away. He couldn't do anything. He didn't put up a good enough fight. He wasn't strong enough to protect Kenta. And the utter shame brought up a bitter taste in his mouth.  
  
There was a hard lump stuck in Ohno's throat as he heard Kenta cried out down the hall.  
  
"Papa! Papa! PAAAPAAA!"  
  
*****  
  
He ran as fast as he could until he was out the door, and the cold air bit his cheeks. Sho slowed down when he reached a quiet garden outside the hospital and stopped to catch his breath. He sank into his knees and brought his hands to his face.  
  
Why was she there? Why did she had to be there?! Everyone was watching him. Even Nino. Did he understood what she said? Did Nino knew what being sexually assaulted meant?  
  
Sho remembered hearing Nino calling out to him, but he couldn't turn back. He was scared. Especially that big man who was with her. She was right. He shouldn't be around small kids, but it wasn't like he would approach children. Even still, the fear shocked through him. Her angry face, Nino's confused gaze, everyone's eyes. This could be it. What if Nino fires him? What if Nino no longer needed him anymore? What if he's no longer wanted?  
  
Sho's breathing became labored. Not from the running, but something deep inside him. His chest felt tight, and he felt hot flashes coming on. His heart beat pounded at irregular beats, and the memories started flooding back at full force...  
  
*****  
  
_"That was beautiful," she said. "What's it called?"  
  
"It's Mozart's piano sonata," Sho replied back. "Did you like it?"  
  
She sat down next to him and brushed up against him. "I loved it."  
  
Minami had always been flirting with him. Ever since he came to the office, she would purposely try to partner up with him for a project. Sho didn't mind. She was easy on the eyes, and her flirtatious manner seemed only pointed at him. An inner beast growled inside Sho whenever Minami give a sneak peek of skin under her skirt or a tight press of her bosom. After a week, Sho got the hint.  
  
"I'm also a part-time piano tutor. I could give you private lessons," Sho flirted back.  
  
"Wait until my husband is gone," she answered with a wink. "And then you can show me."  
  
After that, it became their secret affair. Her husband, she called, was a no-good, dirt poor, missing-in-action type of man. She invited Sho inside her home once, and they'd spent the night together. Whenever her husband left for his art trip, Sho would stay over. He never felt sorry for the husband. Sho slowly began to fall for Minami. She was a lonely creature with a lustful body.  
  
One night after a quick hit, Sho reached for his cell phone. She was still sleeping, so he carefully removed the covers to expose her naked body. He held up the camera up and took a picture of her, but he forgot to set the camera noise off.  
  
The sound effect stirred Minami in her sleep until she woke up. "Whatcha doing in?"  
  
"Taking pictures," Sho grinned smugly. "You look beautiful after all."  
  
"You're so nasty, Sho," she giggled but didn't proceed to cover herself.  
  
He began to grow a new fetish. After sex, Sho would take pictures of her. She never stopped him, and he found it arousing. He kept her face in the photos and took the best angles of her body. Soon, Sho would order her to get into peculiar positions. She would stick her tongue out with her legs spread open. Sho would ask her to get on her knees with her mouth open to him. Sometimes she'd bend over with her heels on. It became Sho's coping mechanism whenever Minami's husband returned.  
  
But one day, her husband seemed to stay for good. A week dragged on, and Sho's craving for new pictures itched badly in his head. So he cornered her in the office.  
  
"I need to see you," Sho moaned, his lips brushing against her neck.  
  
"He's not leaving," she groaned, sounding annoyed. "We can't do this. Someone will see us."  
  
"Why are you still with him?" Sho muttered. "Just leave him and be with me."  
  
"I...I can't."  
  
Sho frowned slightly. "Why the hell not? You don't even like him anymore."  
  
"I just can't okay," Minami gasped when Sho lightly bit down under her jaw. "Stop it."  
  
"Are we breaking it off then?" Sho asked, placing his hands on her hips and curving around to her rear. "I don't think I can live with that."  
  
"Sho, you're a sweet guy. But stop this now. I'm married, and I only wanted to play with you."  
  
He pulled back his head to glare at her. "Play? I was just some fling to you?! What the hell! You know damn well you're thinking of me at night instead of your lousy husband. You must be bone dry now without me."  
  
"I was with my husband last night," Minami hissed as if it was her best combat.  
  
But it only made Sho angrier. "I'm better than him, aren't I? Huh?" He suddenly grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Knock it off, Sho!" She glared, no longer using her indoor voice. "You better let me go or-"  
  
Sho pressed his lips onto hers and pushed her against the wall. With a daft hand, Sho reached for the doorknob and pulled her inside the broom closet before closing the door behind him. Minami started resisting, but Sho's irritation was at his peak. He wanted to see her. He wanted to touch her again. He wanted to take pictures again. But she was being fussing and started shouting. Sho slapped her hard across the face to silence her before he reached for her shirt.  
  
The buttons flew out, and Sho forcefully pulled her bra down until a strap snapped off. Her breast plopped out, but she tried to cover them and her fist met Sho's chest. He caught her wrist before she could strike again.  
  
"Stop it!" She shouted. "Let go of me!"  
  
He shoved her down to the floor in the small cramped closet. In his haste to constrain her, a few cleaning bottles fell of the shelves. Sho straddled over her with her arms pinned with his legs. Minami cried out for help, thrashing underneath him, as Sho's adrenaline rushed through his blood. With his hand groping at her breast, he slapped her over and over to stop her from screaming. He reached for his cell phone and tried to take another picture.  
  
Suddenly, the door swung open and someone pulled Sho to his feet. The co-workers slammed him to the ground and wretched his cell phone out of his hands.  
  
"Someone call the police!"  
  
And just like that, he realized what he had become. A low-life, fetish dependent, scum. He sat there in his prison garb at the court trial with his employees, Minami, and his family to witness his sentence. Hearing his final sentence already loomed dread over Sho's head, but it was their eyes that really drilled fear into him. Their accusing, hateful, scornful glares that made Sho shrink back. All throughout his time in prison, Sho knew he deserved it. No one visited him except for his mother, none of his friends contacted him, and his co-workers despised him.  
  
No one will ever trust him. No one will ever need him...no one wanted him..._  
  
*****  
  
Sho shut his eyes as the memories slowly faded away. But his heart still felt heavy. He reached up and touched his jaw; he could almost feel the pain where she fought back. But those eyes from the children ward, the fear that he was going to get caught again quadrupled just with those fierce and fearful gaze.  
  
Why didn't he walked away when he realized it was Minami? He saw her arguing with that man with a boy in his arms. Sho could tell it was Minami from her voice. And from their conversation, he knew she was talking to her ex-husband. Why did he had to help the man out? Of all the people, her ex-husband was the last person Sho should meet.  
  
Their affair was the reason why Minami divorced her husband. The last time Sho saw Minami was at the court trial. He never met her husband until now.  
  
And that boy in his arms. That must be Minami and the man's son.  
  
"Wait a minute," Sho frowned. "What did she say back then?"  
  
That the boy wasn't really her ex-husband's son? So then the real father must be...  
  
Sho's head began throbbing again. "No...no that can't be..."  
  
He didn't really get a good look at the boy's face, but he looked no older than three years old. Sho counted back and estimated when he was seeing Minami. There was a possibility, but there was no way...there was no way...  
  
Sho's world began spinning. Something came up from his stomach. He braced himself with a nearby tree trunk and hurled over the side. The mucus lingered against his chin, and he wiped himself against his sleeve. Sho tried to pull himself up with the tree as support.  
  
"I can't be..." Sho panted. "I can't be...I'm not..."  
  
He heard something in the distance. Someone was calling out to him. Sho didn't dare turn around. Whomever it was will probably convict him and send him to jail again. No, he can't let that happen again! He lost so much the time first around. All his friends' trust, his love for playing the piano, his comfortable job, even his own families' trust. Only his mother visited him during his imprisonment, but even then she looked disheartened with Sho's decisions. He can't go back there! He was just getting to know a brilliant violinist...  
  
"Sho!"  
  
"N-nino?"  
  
He was still crouching down close to the tree trunk and gazed up. Nino was panting slightly, and there was a worried look in his eyes. Sensing Nino's concern, Sho took a deep breath to relax his churning stomach and stood up. He closed his eyes for a few seconds to clear his head. No one was after him. He's not going to be arrested again. Sho was a little jumpy back then. But it'll be best not to go back after a while.  
  
"I'm sorry about that, Nino," Sho moaned low. "I was...I just needed to get away..."  
  
"...your hands are shaking."  
  
Sho glanced down. Nino was right; Sho's hands were lightly trembling, particularly the hand Sho used to attack Minami. He clasped his hands together to stop them from quivering and took another deep breath. He still felt his arm twitching.  
  
"Your hands are shaking," Nino repeated. "You won't be able to play."  
  
"Don't worry," Sho muttered. "I'll be fine...don't worry..."  
  
Nino swung his arms a bit and shuffled his feet as if he was an impatient child. "Let's go home. You're obvious not yourself, so let's go home."  
  
"Yeah...yeah, sure."  
  
Sho turned to lead the way, but his pace was slower than when they first came. Nino walked beside him and never objected Sho's slowed pace. They walked side by side together to the nearest bus stop, and on the ride home, Nino sat unusually close to Sho. Throughout the ride, Nino hummed a tune.  
  
It was one of Nino's original melodies, and it helped calmed Sho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i made sho a really horrible guy in the past OTL  
> though his actions were unforgivable, he paid for his crimes (we know that already). but he is still affected by the past when he thinks too deeply about it. sho is a better man than who he was before, so don't worry about him attacking nino. i can reassure you that won't happen. the sexual assault warning was only for this chapter as a flashback. but i'll keep the tag for future chapters simply for talking about it (never the act, does that count?)  
> sorry i haven't been putting much of aiba's story. he will have more involvement later in the story! promise!


	7. Caesura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little shorter, but something big is gonna happen just a heads up...enjoy!  
> Music reference: Beethoven Larghetto - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4DDtcKZOo0

Sho's respect for Nino sky rocketed after the last hospital trip. Rather than asking questions, Nino continued practicing his scales in the morning as if nothing had happened. However, Sho noticed the way Nino would play his violin with more grace and sympathetic feelings. The pieces he picked to play were soothing and pleasing to anyone's ears yet could easily move someone to tears. Nonetheless, it was nice not having to or be force to talk about Sho's runaway stunt. Only a day went by and Sho felt his heart lighten up.  
  
He did worry that the memories might come back again and distract him from playing the piano, but Sho recovered surprisingly well each time after a few minutes of rehearsal with Nino. It was as if his presence melted away nearly all of Sho's previous doubts and anxieties. Any thoughts of him going to jail, being isolated, or being a father almost quickly vanished...almost...  
  
Sho was busy washing the dishes after dinner while Nino sat in the living room and watching his favorite shows. After he put away the last plate and dried his hands, Sho brought back two cups of pudding, as well as spoons, and handed one to Nino.  
  
"Good rehearsal today," Sho said warmly.  
  
Wordlessly, Nino bowed his head and took the cup into his short palms. Sho sat down on the far side of the couch, his usual spot, and peeled back the lid. They sat in complete silence except for the television while eating their desert pudding. Sho was used to the quietness and lack of conversations—even though a tiny part of him still disliked it. But forcing himself to talk with Nino only made the sensation more awkward and unnecessary. If they ever have to talk about something they can, but their silence gradually became a comfort.  
  
Sho turned his head and saw Nino staring back at him before the autistic violinist quickly veered his eyes back to the TV. It was only for an instant, but it was enough to get Sho's heart fluttering again. He blinked a few times to clear his head from any confusion and returned back to his pudding. For a few minutes, there were only the sounds of their spoons scrapping along the insides of their pudding cup, and the low chattering of the variety show. But even with the trivia quiz on the screen, Sho couldn't stop thinking about those pair of brown eyes staring at him with concern.  
  
"Sachi will come back soon," Nino suddenly spoke up in a rather awkward and rushed voice.  
  
Sho had his mouth filled with his spoon. "Hmm?"  
  
"Sachi...she should be about done," Nino repeated but more calmly. "And once she's back, we can finally ride the Ferris wheel."  
  
"Oh yeah, that's right. It's already been more than a month already," Sho nodded. "Time goes by so fast..."  
  
"A month can't go fast," Nino argued, slightly perked up with annoyance. "A month is a month."  
  
Sho chuckled. "You're right. Sorry."  
  
Nino slumped back into the couch, his half-empty pudding cup balancing on his knee. "I've been thinking. When Sachi comes back, why don't you ride the Ferris wheel with us?"  
  
The pianist turned his head to stare back at the violinist in slight bewilderment. "Really? You'll let me come along with you?"  
  
"Yes," Nino nodded. "The three of us together."  
  
"But it was a promise you and Sachi made together. I don't want to intrude. I mean, why do you want me-"  
  
"Look, I don't want to explain myself. Just come along with us, okay?" Nino said with his brow slightly pinched, and he resumed back to eating his pudding rather heartily.  
  
After a few seconds, Sho felt a soft smile on his lips. "...thanks. I'll look forward to it."  
  
It was subtle, but Sho spotted the corner Nino's mouth turn up at his response. Sho's grin flashed out for a few seconds before pursing his lips together.  
  
They turned their attention back towards the television and returned to their quiet atmosphere. Sho finished his pudding and set it on the coffee table. He rested his arm along the back of the couch with his legs crossed, but then he felt the cushion sink next to him. Nino moved to sit closer next to him and continued finished eating his pudding in his usual slow pace—which was the complete opposite of Sho's lurching heartbeat. Nino and Sachi must have sat closely next to each other because they trust each other. Nino must have trusted Sho enough to sit next to him now—theory by Sakurai Sho's mentality.  
  
He glanced down at Nino's hands and watched the smaller man delicately scoop the dessert. Something about the way Nino opened his mouth made Sho mimic his actions. Nino slowly pulled away the spoon from his lips and swallowed. Sho gulped as well and quickly veered his eyes away. Nino's lips were glossy from the creamy pudding and saliva as he licked his lips. Sho's heart began to beat faster just thinking about them.  
  
The close proximity made the butterflies flutter like crazy inside Sho's stomach. Nino's eyes were still fixed on the TV screen as he raised another spoonful of pudding. But his actions were too slow, and the pudding dripped onto his hand holding the plastic cup. Nino set the spoon and cup aside and gradually licked his thumb and along his index finger. For the first time, Sho saw Nino's tongue: small, pink, and articulate. It curled around his fingers, scooping, and leaving a thin wet trail.  
  
Nino stopped in mid-lick and side-glanced at Sho whose mouth was slightly gaped open. Their eyes met. Sho's face felt like it was burning, and Nino slowly retracted his hand away from his mouth. Sho felt like a trapped animal in those eyes.  
  
"Uhhh-"  
  
The telephone started ringing.  
  
"I'll get it!" Sho jumped up and hurried to the phone. "Hello! Ninomiya residence!"  
  
"Sho?" Sachi's voice came through. "Why are you yelling?"  
  
"A-ahh, sorry," Sho stuttered. "I, uh, well, I'm fine. How are you?"  
  
"I'm calling just to check up on you," she said. "I'm on the highway right now. I should be there in about an hour, but I think this traffic might delay me."  
  
"Oh really?" Sho said, tucking his hand under his armpit. His heart was still beating like crazy from earlier. "That's great. Nino was just saying he wants to ride the Ferris wheel."  
  
Sachi laughed. "He never forgets."  
  
"Sachi, I don't want to sound like a nagging mother, but you shouldn't be talking while driving."  
  
"It's fine!" Sachi pestered at him. "It's practically bumper to bumper, so it's fine."  
  
Sho let out a hum from his throat.  
  
"By the way, the fake signature scandal I told you about has been resolved," Sachi chatted. "I had to leave behind some upset fans, and the whole ordeal was just one big mess. I could have had it finished sooner, but a new problem kept popping up. I don't know how many times I had to bow my head to them. I just hope they'll accept my apology and plan a concert in their hometown some other day... _with_  my approval."  
  
Sho smirked. "People really love his music, huh?"  
  
"They love Nino," she corrected him. "Where is he? Can I talk to him?"  
  
"Sure," Sho said and glanced over his shoulder. "Nino! It's your sister!"  
  
Nino quickly stood up and took the phone with an admiringly smile. Sho went back to throw away the empty pudding cups. Sho glared down at the used spoons before setting them down in the sink. If the phone hadn't rang, Sho wouldn't know what would have happened next. He leaned against the countertop with his eyes shut tight, trying to erase any temptations that sprouted in the dark corners of his mind. When he returned to the couch, Nino hung up the phone.  
  
"Finished already?" Sho said, his eyebrows slightly up. "That ended quickly."  
  
"She had to hang up," Nino explained. "She said it was snowing. Snow distorts connection, and it was starting to sound fuzzy."  
  
"Ah, I see," Sho moaned to himself.  
  
"But finally! Sachi will be home soon," Nino returned to his seat on the couch, "and we'll ride the Ferris wheel together. I really want those waffles again."  
  
Sho nodded slowly. "Yeah..."  
  
He glanced out the window. It wasn't snowing yet, but the clouds were dark.  
  
*****  
  
"Another..."  
  
"Sir, that's enough for tonigh-"  
  
"Another!" Ohno shouted at the young bartender. He slammed down the last of his money on the countertop, and the bartender reluctantly poured another glass.  
  
His drinking buddy sighed next to him. "Maybe you should stop for the night, Ohno."  
  
Ohno grumbled with annoyance. "What do you care? You've got a bright future ahead of you with a new kid...I've just lost mine." He took a swig before moaning out the rest of his rant. "Kenta just started liking that Ninomiya music, and his art pieces are still all over my apartment. I can't throw them away...but the kid...he might not even  _be_  my son. I've always suspected Minami cheating on me, and Kenta doesn't really look like me."  
  
"...you know...you're not the only one going through a hard time," Jun mumbled darkly. "My wife just looks dead on her feet."  
  
Ohno made a bitter face but didn't reply back a retort.  
  
"It's been six months, and she's finally able to walk again," Jun said, his head bowed low and staring at his beer bottle. His hair wasn't as neat and prim as Ohno first saw him, and the bags under Jun's eyes were darker than before. "All she ever eats is cucumbers with lime and salt. It's the only thing that doesn't come back up, and her prescriptions always make her sleepy."  
  
Jun ruffled through his hair in frustration. "I can barely concentrate at work. There's this pending worry over my head that something bad might happen while I'm gone, and I just..."  
  
His words faded away before he could carry on. The two worried men sat side by side—Jun's briefcase still took up a seat between them—and drank away their sorrows. But for Ohno, the emptiness never went away with each gulp. A part of him wanted to be relieved that he didn't have to take care of Kenta anymore. But he never felt his spirit so broken to the point he couldn't even step inside his own home. Everywhere he looked, Ohno remembered Kenta.  
  
He glanced over at Jun and saw how the man was also deep in his own distress. But Ohno couldn't even find the motivation to cheer up his drinking buddy. Now a new sense of uselessness settled into his heavy heart, and Ohno took another gulp of alcohol.  
  
Suddenly, a dull beep went off in Jun's pocket. The worried husband reached for his phone and read his text message. Ohno could almost see the air turn cold around Jun because the man froze in his seat.  
  
"What's wrong?" Ohno asked, slightly worried for the young man's fearful expression.  
  
"I-I-It's Kiko," Jun uttered, his eyes wide and hand shaking. "She's in the hospital...she's going through labor..."  
  
*****  
  
When Aiba received the pager call, he didn't want to believe it. He immediately jolted out of his chair and raced down the hall. His heart pounded fast in his chest, and tight knots twisted inside his stomach. Aiba had been in the emergency department before, but every time he becomes involved in the ER, his worries and fears seemed to double over.  
  
This time, it wasn't a case that needed his assistance. He only received word from a co-worker about the situation—it helps to have friends in different departments. When he arrived at the ER, he already felt his forehead breaking a sweat.  
  
"Aiba," Doctor Seiji waved at him.  
  
Aiba jogged towards him. "Seiji, I got your call...is it really...?"  
  
Seiji only gave him a grave face and lowered his gaze. The knots in Aiba's stomach turned into stones of dread. With wide eyes and a doubtful heart, Aiba went to check the emergency wards for himself. There were still EMTs and nurses at the scene. No one paid much attention to him as they carried about doing their job. Aiba passed by bed after bed, looking for a familiar face.  
  
There was one bed at the end of the ward with the white curtains pulled around. Aiba took a deep shaky breath and slowly pulled the curtains back...  
  
*****  
  
Kiko couldn't remember after the sudden on waves of cramps. The pain was excruciating, and her back was killing her. Thankfully, she was at her mother's place, or Kiko would have contracted on the floor without anyone to help her. The voices of the paramedics and the flashing ambulance lights seemed distant but present in her memory. In her last ounce of strength, she texted to the one person she wanted to be with. But everything after that was a blur of noises and pain until she passed out.  
  
When she woke up, the one she texted to was right by her side.  
  
"Kiko!" Jun gasped. "Oh, thank heavens. You're awake."  
  
She felt an oxygen mask strapped to her face, and she heard the faintest sound of a heart monitor beeping next to her bed. Her body felt so numb and drowsy, but she was able to clearly see her husband and her mother nearby. She felt Jun holding her hand tenderly.  
  
Jun reached up and pushed a button to call a nurse before he went back to stroking her hair. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"...tired," she moaned slowly.  
  
She saw her mother let out a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad you're alive."  
  
Jun immediately gazed up and bowed his head to his mother-in-law. "Thank you for taking her to the hospital. I should have been by her side."  
  
But Kiko shook his hand to get his attention. "I'm fine, Jun. Everything is going to be...fine."  
  
In no time at all, a nurse and a female doctor arrived in her room. The doctor greeted her with a smile. "Hello, Matsumoto. I'm Doctor Yamada of the obstetrics department. I performed your delivery through C-section."  
  
Kiko wanted to bow her head, but she still felt tired. "Thank you...is my baby...is my baby's alright?"  
  
Doctor Yamada nodded. "Your baby was delivered safely. Nurse Kana will bring your new baby girl."  
  
Kiko's tiredness slowly seemed to diminish away and was replaced with excitement. Even through her body still felt slow, she wanted to see her first daughter. Doctor Yamada continued talking and assessing her to make sure she was fine, but Kiko couldn't stop grinning. Even through her premature labor, her baby made it out alive. She held onto Jun's hand tighter—there was some nervousness building up inside her as well.  
  
Finally, the nurse wheeled in a hospital baby stroller with a tiny pink bundle inside the plastic tub. Kiko held her breath as the nurse gently lifted the baby and placed her in Kiko's arms. She was so tiny; Kiko didn't need to use both arms to hold her. Her head could fit in the palm of Jun's hand, but her cheeks were round and puffy. Her eyes were closed, but she breathed fast and steadily.  
  
The tears came pouring out of Kiko, and she raised her hand to cover her eyes. She couldn't suppress her sobs any longer. Their baby was alive. Kiko was alive. They made it out okay!  
  
"Thank you, Doctor," Kiko sobbed. "Thank you..."  
  
She passed the baby to Jun. His eyes became watery the moment the tiny weight settled into his hands. The baby blinked her eyes open and gazed up at her father for a brief moment before closing her eyes again.  
  
Jun smiled down at her and whispered. "Hi there..."  
  
Her tiny fingers barely wrapped around Jun's index finger.  
  
"Congradulations," Doctor Yamada spoke up. "I'm sorry to spoil this precious moment, but she is three months premature. I like to advise that serious ailments are possible."  
  
Kiko swallowed nervously. "I understand."  
  
"We will give you the best treatment that we have for your child," the doctor continued. "However, there is one method that has shown great progress for premature babies. Have you heard of the kangaroo care?"  
  
Kiko and Jun exchanged a confused glanced. "We haven't."  
  
"It's a very simple process," Doctor Yamada smiled. "A mother simply holds her child close to her chest and let the child listen her heartbeat. The skin ship will help your daughter. It'll be as if she was still inside the womb. Would you like to give it a try?"  
  
"Jun, bring her here," Kiko uttered.  
  
Her mother helped untie the gown from the back for Kiko's chest to be expose. Jun gently eased down next to her and passed their newborn daughter. Kiko carefully placed her daughter against her chest—her head placed right over the heart—as Jun secured a blanket over them both. Kiko could feel her tiny hands spreading and feeling around on her skin. The contact was enough to make her vision blurry again, but she was able to feel Jun's kiss on her forehead.  
  
They were alive...

  
*****  
  
Sho woke up to the sounds of Nino practicing his scales. He rolled out of bed before his eyes snapped wide awake. He hurried out the guest bedroom and found Nino alone in the practice room.  
  
"Did Sachi come back?" Sho asked.  
  
Nino didn't answer and continued playing his scales rather slowly and solemnly. That meant no. Sho sighed heavily and made his way to shower first. Sachi never came in the hour she promised last night, and both Sho and Nino got worried. Sho tried calling Sachi on her cell phone again, but he end up hearing the voicemail. Last night, Nino kept glancing out the window, hoping to see Sachi's car to pull up the driveway. In the end, Sho assumed Sachi stayed the night at a hotel somewhere to get out of the snow. Nino never said a word afterwards, but Sho could sense he was worried.  
  
When Sho finished his shower, he could still hear Nino playing his scales, so he returned to the practice room.  
  
"Nino," Sho uttered despite Nino's loud violin playing. "Do you...do you want any breakfast?"  
  
The violinist lowered his instrument at last and shook his head.  
  
Sho leaned against the wall. "How about stop playing for awhile? I'm feeling hungry, so do you wanna help me make breakfast?"  
  
"You go eat. I don't want to," Nino said dejectedly. He placed the violin under his chin and carried on playing.  
  
With a heavy heart, Sho left the room. He end up eating a granola bar, but even that he couldn't finish. Nino was worried sick; Sho could detect it in his voice. Sho was also nervous too. He went back to his room to check his cell phone. His eyes nearly popped out when he saw there was one missed voicemail.  
  
It was from Sachi.  
  
"Hi, Sho! Sorry for not answering your calls sooner. This snow is really pouring. It'll probably take longer than an hour. I'm calling because I got disconnect with Nino. Tell him I'm on my way soon and I love him. Okay? Bye!.... _To replay this message press-_ "  
  
Sho ended his call. Hearing Sachi's voicemail didn't remove the impending worry in Sho's heart. The call came in late last night, and Sho was mentally hitting himself for not picking up then. And now it was the morning after and she still wasn't back! Even with the skies clear and the news reporting no traffic, she wasn't home yet.  
  
He returned to kitchen and forced himself to make breakfast. He'll force Nino to eat if he had to. They had to get their stomachs full and hopefully food will calm their nerves. At least that's what Sho believed. He mindlessly cut vegetables until he noticed there was no more music playing.  
  
Nino entered the living room. "I'm going to take a shower, let me know when Sachi comes back."  
  
"U-uh, alright," Sho nodded. Nino had an awkward step as he left. After Sho heard the definite click of the bathroom door closing, Sho frowned to himself. "He's so tormented...where the hell are you, Sachi?"  
  
Then, the doorbell rang. Nino was still in the shower, but Sho felt his whole body wash over with relief. He must have missed the sound of her car pulling up the driveway, but Sho assumed her hands were full with her luggage to open the door herself. He quickly wiped his hands on a towel and hurried to the front door.  
  
A police officer greeted him. "Good morning, sir,"  
  
Sho's heart sank like a boulder in water. "Good morning, officer...can I help you?"  
  
The police officer had a serious face and didn't bat an eyelid. "Are you the caretaker of Ninomiya Kazunari?"  
  
"C-currently, yes," Sho answered, feeling his palms sweating with nervousness.  
  
The police officer took a deep breath before he spoke. "I regret to inform you that Ninomiya Sachi was involved in a fatal car accident last night and was reported dead at the hospital. Doctor Aiba Masaki confirmed her body and said that her only kin is her brother. Ninomiya Sachi has left her brother in your care, so we must ask you to bring him to the station so that we may proceed with necessary paperwork. Any assests that Ninomiya Sachi owned will now belong to her brother. I understand this may come as a shock, so feel free to come to the station at your dispense. Please tell Ninomiya I am very sorry for his loss. Take care, sir."  
  
And the officer left.  
  
Sho still had the door open even as the officer drove away.  
  
Somehow, in the back of his mind, Sho knew. Ever since he listened to the voicemail, Sho had a feeling this would happened. But he wanted to push it out of his mind until it literally came at the doorstep where Sho remained. The entrance and the exit. It suddenly became a new turning point of Sho's life. He could leave right now and finally be free, or he could turn around and become a permanent caretaker. Sho glanced down at his hands, wondering what his next course of action as if his body has the answer rather than his thoughts.  
  
"How will I tell Nino?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup  
> i wonder if you guys have noticed the chapter titles. they're musical terminology. Caesura is like a pause, interruption, or a break in music scores...get it! a break! :DD  
> OTL


	8. Lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember back in chapter two how i said mental illnesses covers the broad range of illnesses like depression and anxiety etc...yeah, brace yourself  
> Music reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_VCbnqbwwA

"Sachi should be home soon," Nino said after finishing another concerto piece. "Any minute now, and we'll ride the Ferris wheel together."  
  
Sho sat on the piano bench with a deep sullen face with his hands on his lap. Nino went about through his vast collection of music books before picking another piece for Sho to play. Nino propped the book on the music rack for Sho and turned to the page he wanted. Sho kept his eyes cast down; his brows forever knitted together.  
  
"Perhaps she's doing some grocery shopping before she comes back," Nino repeated for the past hour and tucked his violin under his chin.  
  
Nino started playing, but Sho didn't accompany him. It was already past noon since the police officer's visit, and Sho still hasn't told Nino about Sachi's death. He couldn't find the right time or the right words. But Nino was starting to get antsy. Two months was too long, and Nino kept repeating the same sentences every hour or so. Sho's heart weighed heavier and heavier in his chest each time he heard Nino say the name "Sachi."  
  
It was even affecting the way Nino was playing. Before, Nino played smoothly as if he was patient and calm. Now, Nino's violin music was jittery and shaky. He was anxious, nervous, and worried for his missing sister even if he wasn't saying it. Sho couldn't take it anymore.  
  
Sho stood up. "Nino."  
  
For the first time, Nino stopped playing in the middle of a piece. The man never stopped playing once he's into a melody. Sho gulped and tried to fish out words from his mouth. Nino's eyes were round and slightly judging, completely and utterly oblivious of the possibility why his sister wasn't around, but the violinist still looked scared.  
  
If only there was a way Sho could calm Nino's nerves and deliver the news slowly.  
  
"L-let's go to the park," Sho suggested. "Just to stretch our legs. What do you say?"  
  
Nino blinked and glanced out the window. The sky was still gray from the light snow last night, but it didn't look so gloomy. Even though it was winter, a breath of fresh air would be a good idea.  
  
"Sachi might be waiting for us there," Nino said eagerly and started packing his violin away.  
  
After they got ready, they headed out the door and walked along the path towards the nearby park. Valentine decorations hung along the street lamp post, and Sho immediately regretted this idea. There were a few people out also having a stroll around the pond, couples sharing warm moments under bare snow-covered trees, and the Ferris wheel was still blinking pink and red lights. But Sho didn't want to give up just because the lovey-dovey atmosphere made him feel awkward. The game stands were still open, maybe a few quick games could lighten Nino's mood.  
  
"Nino, look! A pitching game," Sho pointed and led him towards the stand.  
  
They played a few games, and Sho purposely made fake laughs and smiles to show Nino everything was fine. Nino, for the while, seemed focused on each game, but his overall expression seemed neutral. His eyes wandered from the game stands to the Ferris wheel visible throughout the park.  
  
After they played five games, Nino finally spoke up with a tired voice. "Sachi will meet us here."  
  
Sho tried not to show his dispirited look. "...let's sit down."  
  
They found an empty bench that had the perfect view of the Ferris wheel across the pond. The atmosphere was quiet despite the people passing by down the hill. Sho gripped onto his knees to calm his nervous heartbeat. He glanced away, hoping he'll find something to save him from this heavy responsibility. Then, he spotted behind him a waffle stand...  
  
"Wait right here, Nino," Sho said and hurried to wait in line.  
  
He bought two waffles with honey and strawberries. The sight of the food was enough to make Sho grin a small honest smile for the first time since morning. As he approached Nino, he noticed the small violinist looked up sadly at the Ferris wheel and nothing else. Nino's muffler made the back of his head looked increbile tiny like a tuft of black curls poking out. The man subtly bobbed his head up and down to a soundless tune that could only be heard in his head. Sho sighed and appeared from behind Nino, handing the waffle in front of the savant's face.  
  
"Eat while it's still warm."  
  
Nino suddenly gasped and whirled around with a huge smile on his face. "Sachi!"  
  
Sho was a little startled by Nino's response, but soon the violinist's smile faded away. Nino's eyes searched Sho's, looking more confused and scared with each passing second. It was then Sho knew he made the wrong move. He must have done something that reminded Nino of his sister. Sho let out a defeated sigh and sat down next to him.  
  
"W-where is Sachi?" Nino finally asked, his voice still stern as if trying to be tough. "Why isn't she here?"  
  
Sho couldn't even look at Nino. There was no point in stalling anymore. "Sachi...your sister...I'm so sorry, Nino. Your sister...she's dead."  
  
Nino made a groaning noise. "No, Sho... _where's_  Sachi?"  
  
Sho rubbed his face and contemplated if the man even knew what the word "dead" meant. "Nino, I don't know what else to tell you. But Sachi is not here." He finally glanced back and saw a frightened man. "She's not coming back. You...you can't ride the Ferris wheel with Sachi...she's gone, Nino."  
  
Those words seemed to make sense for Nino, and the violinist's eyes darted left and right as if trying to process this new information.  
  
"You're lying. Sachi will come home," Nino said as if trying to correct Sho. "We have to ride the Ferris wheel when Sachi comes back-"  
  
"She's not coming back, Nino!" Sho resorted to shouting. "She died in a car accident on the way home! There will be no Ferris wheel ride, and there will be no more Sachi! No more Sachi!"  
  
"Sachi...Sachi..." Nino slid away from Sho, his eyes wide with fear and a trace of anger. "No...Sachi will come...come back...where is she?" Nino stood up, his eyes focused far across the pond, and shouted. "SACHI!"  
  
Suddenly, Nino ran down the hill. Sho cursed under his breath and chased after Nino; the waffles were left abandoned on the bench. People stared at Nino as the man shouted and screamed his sister's name as if she was lost in the park. Then, Nino tripped and fell hard on his palms and elbows. Sho quickly appeared at his side.  
  
"Nino!" Sho knelt next to him. "Nino, are you alright?"  
  
"Sachi...SACHI!"  
  
Sho roughly grabbed Nino's shoulders. "Nino, listen to me. It's no good. Sachi isn't here, alright?! Let's...let's go home, okay? I'll...I'll look after you! So let's go back home-"  
  
But Nino flung his arms out and stood back up, running towards the Ferris wheel. Sho pursued after him and noticed the sky grew darker. It was a mistake bringing Nino out in public. He should have told Nino when they were in the privacy of his home. Now, Nino is completely disoriented. His mind must be in a state of total chaos and confusion. Sho regretted his decisions. Worse of all, he regretted yelling at Nino.  
  
Nino collapsed again, too tired from running. The tears ran down his face, and he suddenly vomited white mucus from his mouth. Sho panted heavily with his sides burning as he finally caught up with Nino. People gave weird looks at the two of them as Nino continued to sob and make a mess on the pavement. Sho rubbed Nino's back and bowed his head to the passing people.  
  
Sho wiped Nino's mouth with his jacket sleeve. "I'm so sorry, Nino. I'm sorry."  
  
"Sachi..." Nino moaned quietly and gasping for breath between each sob. "Sachi....Sachi..."  
  
*****  
  
When Kiko received the message of Sachi's death, she cried in Jun's arms. Apparently on the night Kiko went into labor, Sachi got into a car accident. Sachi had been like an older sister to Kiko. When they first met, Kiko did her best not to squeal or flail about like another obsessed Nino fan. For a moment, she worried her facade would show through. But Sachi grew fond of her, and Kiko will never forget Sachi's kindness. In that instant, Kiko knew exactly what to name her daughter.  
  
Sachiko.  
  
"I'm sure Nino would be happy to hear that," Jun reassured her. "And I love it too."  
  
Despite being three months premature, Sachiko was fairly healthy. The kangaroo care helped the most, but Sachiko still had to remain the hospital until she no longer needed to be in the incubator. Kiko gradually got better, but she grew anxious when she was released first before her daughter. Doctor Yamada continued advising Kiko and Jun to stay cautious for any signs due to Sachiko's early birth, but it was hard to think of the negativity when seeing Sachiko's tiny face.

After two agonizing months, Sachiko was finally able to go home in the early spring of May. At the same time, Sachi's memorial service was being held. Her funeral was privately attended only by Nino within the week of her death. It upsetted Kiko and Jun greatly that they couldn't go to Sachi's funeral. For some reason, Nino refused to send out invitations to the funeral. Kiko could only imagine the grief was too strong inside Nino, and the man didn't want any outsiders. Kiko tried reaching out to Nino and offering her help, but the man never called her back. Finally, after a few calls from colleagues and Sachi's college friends, Nino approved the memorial service. Now, she can finally say her condolences to Nino in person, and introducing her daughter could help lift Nino's spirits.  
  
Sachiko slept in the backseat as they drove to the service.  
  
"Do you think Nino will be mad to see us?" Kiko asked, picking at her bottom lip whenever she was worried. "It's been so long since I've seen him privately. The last time Sachi invited us for dinner was last year."  
  
"He invited us, didn't he?" Jun pointed out. "Besides, I think he'll like it if you come and pay respects to his sister."  
  
"Actually, I didn't talk to Nino on the phone," Kiko said. "It was a man named Sho. Nino's new piano accompanist. Sachi told me before she left on her trip that Sho was looking after Nino while she was away. I get the feel he's been with Nino this whole time. Now I wonder...if that man will be taking care of Nino forever."  
  
"Poor guy," Jun frowned. "Nino has taken over all of Sachi's accounts, right? But he can't really pay bills and manage himself, right? I hope this Sho character knows what he's doing."  
  
"I'll be the judge of that," Kiko nodded.  
  
They arrived at the recreation center, and Jun carefully carried their sleeping daughter inside. There were a lot of visitors: some college professors, local musicians, Nino's sponsors, and other colleagues of Sachi. But there were no other family relatives. Kiko spotted Nino standing up front with a black suit. A handsome man stood next to him and was the only one bowing his head to greet the people visiting. Nino kept his eyes focused on the floor and didn't bother to look up at anyone. Sachi's portrait was posted high with flowers covering around the frame.  
  
With a quivering bottom lip, Kiko approached portrait and gazed up at Sachi's smiling photo. Kiko covered her mouth to muffle her wail.  
  
"Oh, Sachi," Kiko cried, placing her hand on the edge of the frame. "I wish I had one last dinner with you."  
  
When Kiko approached Nino, the savant finally raised his head when he recognized her voice.  
  
"Kiko," he uttered.  
  
She couldn't hold back and flung her arms around Nino. In the past, Nino had been reluctant in sharing physical contact with strangers, and Kiko had her fair share of awkward hugs with him. But the autistic man didn't push her away nor made any uncomfortable noises. She hugged him tight and rubbed his back.  
  
"If you need anything, anything at all, you can call me," Kiko told Nino. "I will always support Nino."  
  
"Kiko..."  
  
She finally pulled away and glanced at the man standing next to Nino. This must be Sho, the man now taking care of Nino. Sachi may have trusted this man to look after Nino, but Kiko had known Nino longer and would have been a better choice if she wasn't with child. He looked nervous as Kiko gave him a mean and scrutinous glare.  
  
"If anything happens to Nino..."  
  
She didn't bother finishing the sentence, and Sho nodded his head vigorously.  
  
Jun walked up to the violinist. "Nino, would you like to see my daughter? Her name is Sachiko."  
  
Nino made a little gasp at the name, and he glanced down at the little baby in Jun's arms. He pulled the blankets away to show her face more, and Nino's mouth appeared to be stuck open. Sachiko was a heavy sleeper even as Nino let out a quiet sob.  
  
He bowed his head to them. "Thank you..."  
  
*****  
  
The service ended rather too quickly for Sho. The guest speakers said their speeches about Sachi, and everyone gave Nino their final sympathy before leaving. Only Kiko remained by his side after the service, and Nino held Sachiko in his arms. It was strange to see Nino holding a baby. His mouth was still open while staring down at the sleeping child, and Nino would let out a gasp whenever the baby fidgeted. Sho sat as far away while watching them silently. He had the impression that Kiko didn't want him around either, so he waiting alone at the end of the room.  
  
Then, the man with the strong face sat in the chair next to him.  
  
"Is your name Sakurai Sho?"  
  
He glanced back at the man. "Y-yeah?"  
  
"My name is Jun," the man held out his hand. "Kiko's husband."  
  
Sho bowed his head timidly and shook hands.  
  
"You know, Kiko was really upset that Sachi didn't ask her to look after Nino," Jun started. "Kiko insisted that she would watched Nino while Sachi was away, even while pregnant. She's quite upset it was you and not her. Nino's most devoted fan. She just wants to make sure you'll stay with him properly."  
  
Sho lowered his gaze and gripped his pants at the knees. So that's why Kiko gave him mean looks.  
  
"I'm kinda curious too," Jun continued, trying to make friendly talk. "I mean, you're going to take care of Nino now, right?"  
  
Sho swallowed a thick lump stuck in his throat. "Sachi left him in my care. I can't...I can't just leave him alone. But..." Sho glanced up and watched Nino bouncing the now crying baby lightly in his arms with Kiko supporting the baby's head. "I'm...beginning to have my doubts."  
  
He could feel Jun's gaze piercing the side of his head, but Sho focused his attention back on the floor. He felt tight around the chest as the pending future loomed over his mind. "What can I do for Nino? There's so many things I'm unsure of, and I don't even know where to start. I used to be someone who didn't had any responsibilities, and I know people have little trust in me. Now, I'm thrown into this tornado of obligations. Nino wants me to play the piano his way, Sachi wants me to live with Nino, and now your wife has expectations too."  
  
Sho leaned forward and held his head in his clammy hands. "How can anyone expect so much from me so suddenly? Do you guys really want me around? What if I'm not right for Nino? How will I know if I'm just hurting him even more?"  
  
The baby's cry became louder, and Nino began moaning too. Even with his head down, Sho could hear Kiko gently hushing her baby back to sleep, and Nino's complaints subsided as well. Kiko could easily revert Nino's behavior. Why couldn't Sho do the same?  
  
"Sachi believed in you though," Jun spoke up. "If there was anyone that knew Nino best, it was Sachi. And if she thought you were the best fit for Nino, then she was probably right. If Nino hasn't pushed you away, then I think he definitely wants you around even if he doesn't say it."  
  
It was true that there were times when something clicked between them. His piano playing and Nino's violin music came to Sho's mind easily, and suddenly the world was only the two of them. Even Nino was able to understand Sho's guilt and shame. Yet, the doubt was still swimming in his gut.  
  
Sho lifted his head. "But-"  
  
"Take myself for instance," Jun interrupted him, his eyes on his wife. "I was really worried for Kiko when she was pregnant. I kept questioning myself into the late night on what more could I do, was I doing enough, or was there nothing I could do at all. I was just so confused, and stressed, and caught up in a mess. But Kiko gave me peace of mind...she understood me even at times when I didn't."  
  
Jun turned to face Sho. "That's the kind of person you're supposed to be with."  
  
Sachiko stopped crying, and Sho felt the goose bumps rose from his skin. Jun clapped his hand against Sho's back before standing up.  
  
"Be patient with Nino," Jun advised. "I'm sure he needs you more than ever." And the man walked back to his wife.

  
*****  
  
Ohno tried calling Minami, but the woman never picked up her phone. Every time he picked up the phone to call her, Ohno felt a surge of fatherly pride and practiced beforehand exactly the words he wanted to say to that devil woman. But every time he heard the automatic voicemail, his pride diminished bit by bit. Each phone call suddenly became harder to make. Ohno's doubt grew larger and larger until he finally did stopped calling.  
  
Maybe it was better this way. He could finally go back to his paintings. But when Ohno pulled out his blank canvases and paintbrushes, he couldn't find an ounce of inspiration let alone a single motivation. It was like a missing part of his life left a deep scar. He was stuck in a limbo-like situation, and Ohno couldn't bounce back with his life.  
  
He was just...stuck.  
  
Ohno heard the mail door flap open. Having nothing else to do, he walked towards the front door and scooped up the letters. Behind the junk mail, Ohno received a postcard from the neurology department. Apparently, Kenta was due for a checkup. Ohno groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He forgot to tell the hospital that Kenta was no longer under his care. He had hoped Aiba would have gotten the picture after that scene in the children ward, but clearly the hospital still hasn't cleared out his name as Kenta's caretaker.  
  
He could have made a quick phone call, but the depressed man couldn't stand to be in his own home a minute longer. Just being inside the same space where Kenta used to play, eat, and sleep made Ohno even more depressed. So he decided to take a walk to the hospital instead. Even walking felt irregular—Ohno had constantly slowed his pace for Kenta or waited for Kenta to finish inspecting a pebble on the ground. Finally, he approached the front desk of the hospital and hoped to pass on the information to the right department.  
  
"If you're not the legal guardian, please let us know who is so we may change the data in our system," the receptionist said.  
  
"Bages Minami," Ohno answered. "Though, she might have a different last name...depending on her husband."  
  
"Do you have her phone number?"  
  
Ohno reached for his cell phone when he heard someone calling out to him. "Ohno!"  
  
He turned around. "Aiba..."  
  
The doctor gave a wiry smile before nodding to the receptionist. "That will do Haru. I'll take over from here."  
  
But Ohno didn't have any intentions in going to Aiba's office. "It's alright. I'm here to change Kenta's data because I'm no longer his primary caretaker."  
  
Aiba patted his shoulder. "Ohno, walk with me."  
  
They walked pass the hospital's main entrance and strolled along the white quiet corridors. The glass windows showed the courtyard outside. It was empty except for a few patients that could withstand the chilly spring air, but there was one child patient walking towards a garden patch with a cane. The poor girl appeared to be struggling to lift her legs.  
  
"I'm sorry for what happened," Aiba started. "As Kenta's physician, I should have done something to help him. But legal issues such as parent ownership is beyond my control."  
  
"I don't blame you," Ohno replied. "Honestly, I want to thank you for helping me. Even though it was for a short time, Kenta got better because of you. Truly, thank you." Ohno bowed his head low before he stood back up. "But now, there's no need to contact me. It's as my ex-wife said. She'll take care of Kenta. She has the funds to support him."  
  
"But you wanted to support him," Aiba suddenly spoke up, his brow slightly pushed together. "You wanted to take care of Kenta, didn't you? He was your son."  
  
"I'm probably not his father," Ohno said bitterly and turned his body away from Aiba. "I've always had that doubtful feeling."  
  
"But you never gave up on him!" Aiba persisted. "Your wife abandoned her son to you. Kenta was in your care and you could have easily sent him away, but you didn't! So why now are you giving up?"  
  
"Why do you care?" Ohno turned back to glare at the nagging doctor. "What do you know about raising children?"  
  
Aiba's expression slowly softened, but his frown looked sadder by the minute. Aiba's image was always a smiling doctor, and a sudden block of guilt sat in Ohno's gut when he saw Aiba's smile disappear. The doctor glanced down at the young girl with a walking cane in the courtyard.  
  
"I do know," Aiba uttered. "I had a daughter once. She would be eleven years old now. Her name was Koharu, and she was the apple of my eye. Full of life, spunk, and smiles." Aiba let out a quiet chuckle. "She loved playing baseball with me. On weekends when I didn't have classes, I would take her to the park and play catch. Yuka didn't like it because Koharu always got her dress dirty. But she was really good."  
  
Aiba took in a shaky breath before continuing. "One day, without telling my wife, I took Koharu to the park to play catch. And...because I wasn't careful, Koharu was struck by car."  
  
Ohno's lips parted in shock, and his eyebrows twitched up. The little girl in the courtyard tripped and fell hard on the rough dirty ground. It looked like she skinned her knee badly, and she started crying.  
  
"If I had been more attentive, more protective, I could have saved Koharu," Aiba sighed before glancing back at Ohno. "You have no idea how lucky you are to have your son alive. You can believe that you're not the father, but some part of you must have grown attached to Kenta."  
  
Ohno dropped his gaze from Aiba and watched the little girl again. "Kenta...Kenta is with his mother now. He cried for her the first night he came to my doorstep."  
  
"And I heard him shouting 'papa' when he was taken from you," Aiba added.  
  
A pinprick jolted into Ohno's heart at those words. He closed his eyes and remembered Kenta's anguished face as he cried out to him, begging Ohno to come get him. He felt Aiba grip his shoulder tightly and gave it a little shake. When Ohno opened his eyes, Aiba held out a silicone bracelet to him. It was a charity bracelet with the hospital's logo. The words carved into the bracelet read: Music for the Children.  
  
"Learn from my mistake," Aiba said. "Fight for your child."  
  
Aiba dropped the bracelet into Ohno's palm, and the doctor walked away leaving Ohno to his thoughts. He rubbed the bracelet between his fingers before slipping it on. When Ohno glanced down at the courtyard, he saw the little girl's mother had come to help her...  
  
*****  
  
"Two months?!" Jun gawked at her.  
  
"I know," Kiko sighed as she patted Sachiko's tiny back after breastfeeding. "The office needs this magazine ready before printing begins. And they told me that the producer I left in charge was doing a piss poor job. So I have to go away for work to pick up the slack."  
  
Jun shook his head. "Are you sure you can't work at home? It's only been a month since Sachiko left the hospital, and she still needs your milk. Heck, I'll go in your place!"  
  
"You manage a restaurant. Do you even know how to market fashion?"  
  
Jun frowned slightly. "I pick out clothes with my feelings."  
  
Kiko rolled her eyes until Sachiko finally let out a tiny burp. Kiko settled her down in her crib. "It'll only be for two months, Jun. I've stored plenty of breast milk in the fridge, and if Sachiko needs more, I can bottled them up and send them to you by mail. You can survive. "  
  
It wasn't the first time Jun experience her determination, and he almost always never get her to budge when she made up her mind. Kiko had insisted on going back to work after Sachiko was born. Hopefully Jun's sister would come and help babysit while they were both at work, but Jun didn't like the idea of leaving their daughter at home without one of her parents nearby. Sachiko was still tiny from the premature birth even though she was three and a half months old. He's worried about her.  
  
Jun shrugged. "Fine then. I'll take some time off work until you come back."  
  
"You don't have to do that," Kiko said. "You said your sister will look after her for us, right? And I know the restaurant means a lot to you."  
  
"Sachiko means a lot to me now," Jun corrected her. "Besides, this will be a great time for me to bond with her. Every time I come back from work, she's always either sleeping or crying."  
  
Kiko pouted. "Are you sure you don't need to go to work?"  
  
Jun chuckled. "I'll drop by once in a while, but two months will go by fast. We both make good money, so everything will be fine." He leaned down and gave Kiko a quick kiss on her forehead. "I'll look after Sachiko."  
  
*****  
  
Ohno found out where Minami lived with her new husband. A lot of information can pass through a fishing auction house. Apparently, Minami married the owner of a well-established restaurant chain. Ohno stepped in front of the tall gates and gazed up at the large house. No doubt Minami found a wealthy husband this time, but Ohno didn't want to leave now. He pushed the doorbell and waited for someone to answer.  
  
The monitor spoke. "Yes?"  
  
"Uh, I'm here to see the mistress of the house," Ohno said.  
  
"She's out at the moment," the person said followed by a click to end the conversation.  
  
Ohno rang the bell again.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Can you tell me when she'll be coming back?"  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"...Ohno Satoshi."  
  
There was dead silence at the other end. For a moment, Ohno thought he was ignored, and he was about to ring the bell again. But then the front door opened, and Minami herself walked out. Ohno held his breath as Minami came out to greet him at the front gate, but she didn't open them.  
  
"What do you want?" Minami hissed, crossing her arms.  
  
"Let me see him," Ohno immediately jumped to the point. "I want to see Kenta."  
  
"Kenta's sleeping," Minami rolled her eyes. "Please leave or I'll call the cops."  
  
"Just tell me this," Ohno frowned, grabbing onto the metal bars of the gate. His silicone bracelet slid down slightly from his wrist. "Were you happy that Kenta was born?"  
  
Minami didn't shift her eyes away for even a second, but Ohno sensed an uneasiness from her. She glared at him, and her chest puffed as if fuming anger build up inside her. If she wasn't pregnant with Kenta, would they still be together? In their last moments before Ohno found out about her adultery, they did both spent time together until the attack. If Kenta wasn't Ohno's child but rather Minami's attacker, why did she still kept him? It had been nagging Ohno for a while.  
  
Ohno gripped onto the metal bars tighter. "Did you loved Kenta's father?"  
  
Minami's eyes suddenly turned glossy. Ohno felt his heart beating slightly faster as he suddenly remembered that face. The same face that belonged to a woman he once loved. But somewhere down the line, their trust for each other shattered, and Ohno was beginning to see that his old art trips were the cause of it. Her bottom lip started trembling slightly, and she took a deep breath before speaking in a calm, sorrowful voice.  
  
"Goodbye, Satoshi..."  
  
She whirled around—her hair swung like fiery pinwheel—and marched back into her home. Slamming the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a long chapter to make up the previous one!  
> and yes, the inspiration for aiba's daughter's name was his role in My Girl (hence yuka as his wife) ;A;  
> notice how i made this really huge time leap into two months later since sachi's death. mainly because i wanted to get jun's baby out of the hospital XDD  
> next chapter...more sakumiya moments ;)


	9. Mesto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAK2J05Vmhc

In the three months since Nino found out about Sachi's death, the once genius violinist has not picked up his instrument. Nino has regressed into a deep depression, and Sho had no other choice but to look after him. Sho had hoped the memorial service helped bring closure for the violinist, but Nino never set foot in the practice room.

Sho was also bombarded with new responsibilities after Sachi's passing. Suddenly, phone calls would ring almost every day giving Nino their condolences while still asking for a concert. Sho became a manager overnight, and the stress was killing him. Sho ended up rejecting any requests saying that Nino was in no condition to play his violin. Which was basically the truth.

At first, it was bearable. Nino would wake up, take showers, eat his meals, and go to sleep. But the man never uttered a word nor play his usual morning scales practice or his one o'clock rehearsals. Sho tried to lure Nino out of his room by playing the piano as loudly and as soulful as he could, but Nino hardly left his room.

As time went by, Nino's depression slumped even further. The man wouldn't get out of bed—he had to be told by Sho to take his daily showers and baths. And Nino barely touched his plate except nibble a few pieces of food. The bags under Nino's eyes grew larger. Sho noticed every morning how red Nino's eyes were, possibly from late night crying, and the pity sunk deeper in Sho's stomach.

And now here they were. Three months later, and Sho was spoon-feeding Nino. At least Nino was still able to go to the bathroom by himself, but his movements have become so slow. Sho would go by through a whole the day without seeing Nino leave his room except for dinner hours—the only time Nino ever made an appearance. The house has grown quiet without any music. The only sounds came from the television at night with nothing else to do, or the sizzling of Sho's cooking. He had gotten better, and Sho tried to make healthier meals to boost Nino's strength. He even called Nino's doctor to make a home visit.

But Aiba sighed heavily when he exited Nino's bedroom. "There is only so much I can do for him. I'll write up a prescription and have it mailed here."

Sho bowed his head with gratitude. "Thank you, Doctor. It'll...it'll be more than enough."

As Sho walked with him to the front door, Aiba gave him a skeptical look. "Tell me, Sakurai. What made you decided to stay by Nino's side for so long? I mean no offense, but Nino's needs are far beyond anyone can handle that isn't family. Why are you still here with him?"

Sho paused in his footsteps, staring down at the hardwood floor with a sullen expression. "I've wondered that myself, Doctor. Why am I still here with him? I was only hired to be his accompanist, never his caretaker. And now I have to handle all of the bills, cook his meals, do his laundry, and manage his music career." Then, Sho raised his head. "But I think it's more than that."

Aiba blinked at him. "Oh?"

When Nino's depression was at an all-time low, Sho would check up on him at night. But before he could open the door, Sho already heard Nino's sobs through the door. The man never cried in front of Sho, but Nino never hid his grieving expression.

"I know he doesn't say it in words," Sho sighed, "but he needs me. And I have nowhere else to go myself. I can't just...leave him."

When he glanced at Aiba, the doctor smiled warmly at him. "Sachi made the right decision in hiring you."

"Huh?"

Aiba lightly shook his head. "Never mind. If there's any updates on Nino's condition, call me."

"O-of course," Sho nodded, and Aiba walked out the front door.

Sho let out a long and tired sigh before he went back to check Nino. Truth be told, after the first month since Sachi's death, a part of Sho wanted to run away from this responsibility and never look back. But the stronger half made him stay. It was just as his mother told him—one day someone will need him and thank him for it. But it wasn't so much the gratitude that Sho was after. Ever since he heard Nino's work up close, Sho's goal was to bring Nino back to his feet and play the violin again. Music was Nino's functional method, and it affects everyone.

Even Nino's simple piano playing back at the hospital brought smiles to all the children. Though he wasn't an expert on the piano yet, Nino's music captivated people of all ages. The concert was coming soon, and Sho didn't want the poor children to be disappointed. He has to get Nino back into shape again...he just wasn't sure how...

Sho knocked on Nino's bedroom door. "Nino? I'm coming in."

When he opened the door, Nino was still lying on his side with the blankets covering him. It has been a while since Sho last entered Nino's room, and there was a distinct odorous smell in the air.

Sho sat down besides Nino on the bed and uttered softly. "Nino, how about take a bath?"

"..."

"I'll wash your blankets while you soak up," Sho said. "We need to wash them."

"..."

"I'll go draw your bath," Sho said, and left Nino's room.

He turned on the faucet and felt the water until it turned warm, then he plugged the drain to let the water fill the tub. Sho folded a fresh towel on the rack and set clean clothes for Nino to change into on the side. When the tub was full, Sho turned off the water and poured soothing bath soap into the tub. After a quick swirl with his arm, the water turned into a white opaque liquid. Sho returned to Nino's room to find him still lying in his bed.

"Your bath is ready," Sho said.

Nino made the slightest sound, but he didn't budge. Sho pinched the bridge of his nose before he slowly pulled the covers away. Nino's hair was a tangled mess, and Sho noticed Nino haven't changed his clothes in nearly a week. Nino finally sat up and swung his legs over the edge of his bed—his eyes cast down and his head bowed low.

Despite Nino's sweaty clothes, Sho wrapped his arm around Nino and hoisted him up. Nino didn't seem to mind the touch, and he allowed Sho to lead him towards the bathroom. Sho set him down on the toilet seat cover and closed the door behind him.

"I hope he'll do alright in there," Sho mumbled and headed back to Nino's room to do the laundry.

An hour went by and Nino never left the bathroom. Sho was just about to make dinner when he decided to knock on the bathroom door.

"Nino?" Sho called through the wooden door. "Are you finished with you bath?"

"..."

"Is everything alright?"

Still, no reply. For a fearful second, Sho wondered if Nino got hold of a razor or drowned. Not wanting to overreact, Sho slowly opened the door and peeked inside. He didn't find any blood in the water, nor was there a suicidal Nino. In fact, Nino remained where he sat since Sho left him: on the toilet seat. The steam from the hot tub was long gone, and the soap slowly swirled in the center as the only opaque area. The towel was still dry, and Nino still wore his dirty clothes.

Sho dipped his hand into the water. It was already lukewarm. Sho didn't hide his tired sigh and plunged his arm into the tub to pull the plug. The water slowly drained away as Sho stood there staring down at Nino.

The violinist did nothing but stare at the tiled floor with the most dejected face. Sho squatted down to his knees, hoping to make some eye contact, but Nino glanced away. So he reached out and took Nino's hand.

"Nino, please...you need to wash up," Sho pleaded. "You...you can still shower for yourself, right?"

"..."

Sho bit his lip before standing back up and rubbing his face with exhaustion. He couldn't keep ignoring it forever, but Sho hoped it didn't come to this. Nino's slow mobility has reached rock bottom, and Sho saw no other options...

When the tub was fully drained, Sho pulled the shower curtains and turned on the shower head instead. While he waited for the hot water, Sho turned to face back at Nino. The man did not reject Sho's touch as the pianist pulled Nino to his feet. Sho took a deep breath and turned Nino around so he only saw the man's back.

Sho grabbed the hem of Nino's shirt and slowly pulled it up. Nino complied by lifting his arms up, and Sho was able to remove the shirt over Nino's head. Sho's heart accelerated fast and pounded hard against his chest. Nino's skin was still pale as their last physical encounter. The heat rose to Sho's cheeks as he tucked his thumbs under Nino's sweatpants and slid them down.

Nino lifted his foot from each leg hole, and Sho balled up the pants into the laundry basket. It was only Nino's back, just a regular man's body, but Sho's eyes couldn't stop wandering. It reeked with sweat, and there was thin layer of grease, but Nino's skin was so clear. His thin arms and thighs made Sho swallow nervously. But Sho didn't dare take a peek at what's in front...

Sho pulled his own shirt over his head and removed his pants and underwear. From behind, he guided Nino to enter the shower. The warm water cascaded down their bodies, and the steam rose to the ceiling. Nino's hair became flat against the pouring water, and Sho pushed back his wet hair to see.

He started with the shampoo and combed through Nino's hair delicately with his fingers. He placed one hand over Nino's eyes as he gently pushed Nino's head towards the pouring water. The soap spilled down Nino's neck and torso, and the scent of the shampoo reached Sho's nose. The pianist bit his lip to stop himself from sniffing closer at Nino's hair.

He then reached for his body wash, but it was nearly empty—Sho made a mental note to make another trip to the store. Sho searched through the number of bottles in the shower rack—he made another mental note to throw out the trash. Finally, he found one pink bottle in the back and poured a reasonable amount onto the body scrub. He quickly worked up a foam and brought the scrub to Nino's back. Sho made slow circles along Nino's back and shoulders. Under the water, Nino's skin felt ten times softer. As Sho's hand slid along Nino's arm to wash away to soap, the hurricane of butterflies fluttered in Sho's stomach.

Sho kept his eyes closed as he reached his arm around to wash Nino's collarbone and chest. The violinist stood perfectly still, never protesting and never reacting. A part of Sho wanted Nino to give some response, but the man was too deep in his depression to notice Sho bringing the body scrub lower to his belly.

Sho paused right below Nino's navel. He gulped loudly, but he didn't advanced forward. He couldn't work up the nerve, and the risk of losing his control was too great. Nino's skin felt so good under his fingertips, Sho could almost picture the bed sheets...

Instead, he let the water wash away the remaining soap on the scrub, and it flowed down Nino's legs. Finally, Sho turned off the water and pulled the curtains back. Nino stepped out the tub and waited as Sho got the towel from behind. Sho wrapped the thick towel over Nino's shoulders and rubbed the man dry. Sho tried to dry Nino fast when he got down to the man's legs; he still avoided Nino's pelvic area. Not once did Nino saw Sho's front, and it was only respectful if Sho didn't see Nino's either.

The flustered pianist wrapped the towel around Nino's waist. Sho quickly grabbed a spare towel and hastily rubbed himself dry before covering himself. Finally, he turned Nino around so they faced each other.

"You can put your own clothes on, right?" Sho asked.

Nino's eyes were more focused on Sho's chest, but the man finally nodded.

Sho made a satisfied nod and swallowed once again. "Good."

He took their dirty clothes away just in case Nino picked them again, and he walked out the bathroom. Sho pressed his back against the cool wall, covering his mouth with his hand. His heartbeat was still pounding like crazy, and he felt the blood rushing towards his groin. Sho scrunched his eyes shut and lightly pounded his forehead just to make himself calm down.

Dinner was awkward. There was always silence between them ever since Sachi's death, but this silence was different. Somehow, Nino's movements appeared more precise and conscious. The man's eyes would glance across the table where Sho's hands lay before staring down at his food again. Nino still ate in small bites, but at least the man ate more than before. Nino didn't bother to stay in the living to watch television. Instead, he retreated to his bedroom. But Sho didn't follow. He, too, returned to his now permanent bedroom and decided to sleep in early.

He was about to fall asleep when he heard his door creak open.

Sho raised his head with slightly sleepy eyes. "Nino?"

The violinist stood at his doorway, timid like a little boy, in a clean gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt. Sho sat up, more awake, and wondering if he was dreaming again. But it was very much real. Sho was thankful at least Nino was fully clothed. Nino slowly walked up to Sho's bed and crawled next to him.

"N-nino?"

The violinist snuggled himself comfortable next to Sho with his eyes closed. But even in the dark, Sho saw tears leaking out from the corners of Nino's eyes.

"Sachi..." Nino moaned. "Sho...smells like Sachi."

Sho blinked and watched Nino let out more gasping sobs into Sho's pillow. Then, it clicked in Sho's brain. The pink bottle from the shower. He had used Sachi's old body wash for Nino. The smell must have brought back memories of his sister again. Sho wasn't sure if this was a mistake or a new step forward. Nino continued to cry quietly next to him, and Sho finally ease down next to him.

He brought his arm around Nino's shoulder and pulled the man close to his chest. Nino didn't protest from the closeness, and Sho gently rubbed Nino's back. He closed his eyes and hummed a simple lullaby. Hopefully, he could lull Nino to sleep.

And he did.

*****

Aiba stared down at his reports for the longest minutes. He couldn't focus on his work or any of his daily routine; his mind was completely a void. He found himself thinking about Nino and Sachi instead. When he confirmed to the police who was Sachi's family, his mind and body became completely numb. Only afterward when he was alone in his office did the grief and devastation settled in. And the home visit didn't relieve the negativity in Aiba's heart either. Nino was in terrible shape, and the dreaded feeling of uselessness came back into Aiba's mind. If this keeps up, Nino might not be able to play for the charity concert. Nino might even cancel it...

Someone knocked on his door. "Doctor Aiba? Chiaki is here."

Aiba took a deep breath and patted his face. "Okay, send them in." A few minutes later, Chiaki entered his office in her custom wheelchair. Her mother followed after her, quiet and timid as ever. He never failed to greet his patients with a smile. "Hello, Chiaki. It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Aiba," Chiaki said honestly, looking a little tired. "Thank you for recommending me this wheelchair."

Aiba nodded his head. "No problem, Chiaki. How is it doing for you?"

"It's really great," Chiaki said. "I can move faster in it. My classmates help me without me asking. But it's always more fun when my friends push me to go faster."

"That sounds like fun," Aiba chuckled. "I'm glad your friends are helping you out."

They carried on with their counseling session. Surprisingly, Chiaki was taking her disease very well. Aiba still question why children are more accepting of their diseases more so than adults. It always pained Aiba to see children more appreciative of life at such a young age because he heard stories from his wife. Secretly, they cry at night...

"Aiba, I have to tell you something," Chiaki said, her eyes brightened with a little more energy. "I've finally found it! I have a new dream!"

He gasped out loud, overly expressing his excitement. "That's great, Chiaki! What is it?"

"I want to see Ninomiya's concert!" Chiaki smiled back. "My friend lend me her CD, and I love his music. I heard he's going to perform for this hospital. I can't wait to see it!"

Aiba didn't let his smile waver, but he definitely felt his heart sinking.

"I know the children can see the concert for free," Chiaki continued, "but I want to be different. My mom owns a bakery store, and I'm going to be a delivery girl for my neighbors. I'm going to work hard to submit my own donation for the concert. After all, I don't have a long time to live, I might as well help those who have a chance to live longer."

Aiba sucked in his lips to stop them from trembling, but his nose was already starting to burn. "Is that so? That sounds wonderful Chiaki."

"It's all thanks to Aiba," Chiaki said, earnestly. "You told to find a new dream, and now I'm going to work hard for it. You'll see. I'll attend Nino's concert as the highest contributor ever."

He couldn't ruin the moment. Chiaki and her mother were smiling so happily and savoring the precious moments they have left for each other. It took Aiba all his strength to make it through the session until Chiaki left his office. When he closed the door, the room was dead silent. He walked over to his desk where a pile of reports waited for him to complete. His eyes lingered on a particular flyer promoting the concert.

His smile was completely gone, and he angrily swept his arms across the table. The files scattered everywhere across the white tiled floor...

*****

Jun made fake airplane noises with his lips, and his cute daughter laughed loudly with her mouth wide open. Jun took the opportunity to spoon-feed her the mushy baby food. Sachiko didn't seem to mind the taste but neither did she swallowed it. Sachiko squealed happily at Jun's funny noises, and the sweet potato mash dripped down her chin.

"Ah, ah, ah! Sachiko," Jun pouted, scooping the mess from her face. "This time close your mouth, okay? Aaaahhmmmm."

But baby Sachiko didn't close her mouth nor swallow down the soft food. Her head lolled to the side and gazed up at her loving father, but Jun gently titled her head into position.

"Come on, girl. Eat for me," Jun said and brought the spoon to her face. "Aaaah."

Sachiko opened her mouth for the food, and this time she closed her mouth around the tiny baby spoon. But some mash still spilled out from her mouth. Jun giggled at her silly face.

"Why won't you eat your food, you silly little girl?"

After a messy dinner, Jun washed her up and set her down on the diaper table. After he slipped on her baby pajamas, Jun noticed Sachiko flopped limp in his hands. Jun frowned slightly, but then Sachiko lifted her head as if nothing happened. It has only been a month since Kiko left, but Jun noticed subtle differences in Sachiko's behavior since she left the hospital.

Jun pushed the worry thought away and assumed it was nothing. He gently laid her down in her crib where she yawned deeply. He stroke her fine hair before leaning down to kiss her goodnight. It was going to be another late night since she fell asleep early, but it was all part of being a parent.

It was around two in the morning when Jun heard Sachiko crying. With tired eyes, Jun sat up and walked over towards Sachiko's crib. He lifted her up to change her diaper, but she kicked and waved only her left arm and leg. In fact, it almost appeared as if she could only move her left side.

"Hmm?" Jun blinked down at her. "Maybe she's having a fit for a wet diaper."

He cleaned her thoroughly before strapped on a fresh diaper, but Sachiko was still crying. Jun sighed heavily and tried to rock her back and forth in the middle of the dark room. He patted her back while calculating in his head the last time he fed her. But just when Jun was about to walk into the kitchen for Kiko's stored breast milk, Sachiko's cries subsided.

"Was it just the wet diaper?" Jun mumbled to himself.

After he set her down in her crib, he face-planted with exhaustion in his own pillow. Only three hours passed when Sachiko started crying again. Jun grumpily got up to cradle Sachiko again. He tried to feed her this time with the bottle, but the milk dripped down her chin and she continued to cry. Jun didn't want to drown her with the milk, so he set it aside.

"What's wrong, girl?" Jun sighed before a yawn escaped his lips.

Sachiko's head drooped to the side. Perhaps the baby mattress was too soft, and Jun settled her down on his own bed. He carefully secured her with a blanket so she wouldn't roll over or hurt her neck. He gently patted her tummy and tried to shush her from crying.

But Sachiko cried until the sun appeared...

*****

Sho's lips pressed against Nino's neck, and he sucked down tightly on the soft pale skin. Nino whimpered in his arms and stroke along Sho's arms. Sho's heart pounded hard against his chest just by hearing the sounds Nino made, and his adrenaline gradually rushed through his body. He moaned as he passed his tongue over Nino's collarbone and down to his nipples where he lightly pinched it with his teeth.

Nino gave out a little cry, but the violinist gripped tightly onto Sho's hair. The pianist trailed his fingers down Nino's side and towards the man's thigh. Sho grinded himself against Nino's pelvic area while lapping over a hardened nipple. He felt something warm touched his chest and dripped down his abdomen. The smell reached his nose, and Sho breathed in deeply.

Sho drew away and wiped the white mess with his hands. He gazed down at a blushing Nino, and the pianist brought his daft messy hand to violinist's face. Nino took Sho's wet hand and licked his fingers, just like he did with the pudding. Sho felt an aching twitch in his groin just by watching Nino's tongue curl around his index finger. Sho let out a growl and crashed his lips hungrily against Nino's.

"Sho...Sho..."

His eyes flew open.

He side-glanced at Nino who was standing beside his bed, fully clothed and freshly washed face.

Sho, however, felt hot and flushed. "N-nino?"

"...I'm hungry," Nino simply replied and left Sho's room.

The older man groaned out loud and rubbed his face. This was the second time he had a sex dream with Nino. Except this one was a lot more vivid. Sho could have sworn he felt Nino's body heat under him. He closed his eyes and tried to recall the scent and the taste, but all the senses seemed to vanish away. Only the vision remained vibrant in Sho's mind.

Dreaming of a flustered Nino would have brought a delightful and bashful grin to Sho's face, but not anymore. As the pianist slowly got up from bed, the shame and embarrassment wallowed up inside him. Although Sho admitted that Nino's body looks pleasing, harboring any personal feelings for the man would seem unprofessional; Sho was hired as a pianist and nothing else. As far as Sho could tell, the only person Nino ever loved was Sachi. Nino never mentioned a previous relationship nor expressed any affection to anyone. But then Sho recalled the secret men's magazine that Nino kept under his pillow...

After Sho splashed his face with water, he quickly whipped up breakfast for Nino. Ever since that one night when Nino slept next to Sho, the violinist finally showed some improvement. For one, Nino finally bathed and showered on his own properly, and he finished his plate. Nino was even talking more, and Sho was grateful. Although Sho suspected it was the medicine that Aiba prescribed, he was still pleased to see Nino was slowly getting better.

But the man still wouldn't touch his violin.

Sho sat alone in the piano room and practiced by himself. Nino still hasn't picked out the songs to play for the charity concert, but Sho continued playing just to keep his skills from getting rusty. While managing performance requests, food shopping, cleaning the house, and taking care of Nino, Sho used every chance he could get to play.

But despite the hectic days, Sho still wasn't sure he was doing enough to help Nino. Sho was doing more than being Nino's piano accompanist now, but the man still wouldn't play his most precious instrument. Even though the extra work did helped Sho keep his mind away from old memories, he wished he could do more for Nino.

Using the house phone, Sho called his mother for advice.

"Oh the poor dear," his mother sighed after hearing the full story. "Tell Nino I'm sorry for his lost."

"I will, but..." Sho leaned against the wall with his head bowed down, "I don't know...if I'm really helping him."

"What do you mean?"

"Cooking, cleaning, managing...they're all things I can mindlessly do now," Sho said. "I'm wondering if I'm the problem that he's not getting better. I'm not a replacement for Sachi, and I think he sees that. What if he doesn't want me around? I know he needs me, but...I don't know what else to do."

He heard his mother grumbled at him from the other end. "Frankly, my dear, I'm surprised you feel that way. You were always intelligent and honest. I don't think it's a matter of doing more but expressing yourself more."

Sho felt his heart thump a bit. "I've tried playing the piano with him but-"

"With your words, Sho," she said. "Tell Nino you are worried about him. Tell him you want him to play the violin again."

Sho nodded to himself. "I...I do want him to play again."

"Then there you go."

It seemed so simple, but it wasn't the easiest thing for Sho. He lack in telling his emotional feelings. And seeing that Nino does things on his own terms, telling him to play music again was out of the question. All Sho could do was playing the piano and the music pieces he knew by heart. His fingers danced across the keys, his mind repeating the same prayer. Play music again. Hear my song. Please come back to the violin. After a month of playing the piano alone, Nino finally entered the practice room.

Sho heard the floor creak behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder. "Nino?"

The man walked over towards his violin case and cracked it open. Sho held his breath as he watched Nino carefully picked up the violin and tucked it under his chin. Nino tightened the bow and brought it to his strings to fine tune. Sho smiled brightly as Nino walked up next to Sho. As expected, Nino communicates through music.

Neither of them said anything, but they both started playing the same piece together...

*****

Two months have passed, and Sachiko seemed to cry more and more. Jun was at his wit's end with her, but he continued to cradle her and praying she'll stop. He had only been able to go to his restaurant three times since Kiko left; he couldn't bear to leave Sachiko even if his sister did offered to babysit her. Caring for Sachiko was now his responsibility and dedication, but Sachiko's cries just seemed to grow louder and sounded even worse.

To add to his stress, the air conditioner broke in the middle of summer. He fanned Sachiko as best as he could, and he took the blankets away at night. Thankfully, the technician came to fix. But in the time he waited, Jun suspected Sachiko caught a fever. At night, it was always the same: Sachiko cried, Jun changed her diaper, he tried feeding her, and Sachiko continued to cry. Gradually, Jun began eating less himself and drank more coffee just to keep up with Sachiko's night calls. Yet, his eyes weighed as heavy as a sack of rice, and his sagging frown might as well be permanent.

When the doorbell rang, an overwhelming sensation of relief crashed down on Jun the moment he saw his wife at the door.

"Kiko..."

Her eyes widened at the sight of him and a screaming Sachiko in his arms. But she smiled softly at him and teased. "My gosh! What have you done to my baby?!"

After dropping her bags, she easily scooped Sachiko into her arms and carried her back to their room. Jun leaned on the door frame and watched his wife magically rocked Sachiko to sleep. Something about watching Kiko smiling in the dark room with Sachiko's head resting on her shoulder made Jun's heart swell. It had never occurred to him how much he missed all three of them together; the past two months had been the most loneliness nights of his life.

Kiko hummed a sweet lullaby—probably composed by Nino—and placed Sachiko back into her crib. When Kiko drew her arms away from the baby rails, Jun roughly pulled her arm and pressed his lips onto hers. He could feel Kiko's lashes fluttering against his face, but he continued to breathe in deeply and wrapped his arms around Kiko's shoulders. He was so relieved...so relieved that he wasn't alone in this. He was so glad he had Kiko with him.

When he pulled away, Kiko giggled a little. "I missed you too."

"I missed you more..."

Kiko chuckled before patting at Jun's chest. "You look like an absolute mess. Was she that bad?"

"I won't lie, she was a handful." He leaned down and brought his nose close to Kiko's neck. "Or maybe because you weren't by my side."

"I'm sorry I had to leave you," Kiko moaned affectionately and brought her arms around Jun's neck. They rocked back and forth as if they were having a little slow dance. "I promise I won't do something like that again. Why don't you wash up and rest up tonight? I'll be on night duty."

He shared with her one last kiss before he headed for the bathroom. At least the hot water was still working. If that had broken too, Jun might have cracked under the pressure. Now that Kiko was back, some stress had finally washed away along with the water falling down his body. When he got out of the shower, he patted himself dry and slipped on clean and comfy sweatpants.

"JUN! JUN! COME HERE QUICK!"

His heart sank at the sheer volume of Kiko's scream. He raced down the hall and burst through the door. He saw Kiko holding Sachiko limp in her arms. Tears poured down Kiko's face, and her lip trembled as Jun tried to summarize the picture.

"S-she's...she's not breathing!" Kiko cried.


	10. Nocturne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xndVtyZEIo

Aiba woke up with a phone call from the hospital. It was an emergency call that they needed his prognosis for a new patient. Apparently, it was an infant and they were short-hand on experts in the pediatrics department (despite the fact he was in the neurology department. Everyone has already associated him with children). When he arrived at his office, Aiba sat down at his desk and opened his case file. A six month old baby girl was admitted to the ER with poor breathing and low muscle tone. One look at the premature birth status told Aiba a lot already besides the obvious symptoms—he had study cases like these many times to recognize the signs. Aiba frowned slightly in the privacy of his office before he mentally prepared himself. The parents of the child were waiting for him.  
  
The one of the hardest parts of being a doctor was delivering the bad news.  
  
Aiba knocked on the door and slid it open. "Excuse me."  
  
The moment Aiba set foot in the room, the husband stood up looking flustered and anxious. "What's wrong with her?"  
  
"Please try to relax," Aiba said calmly with his hand out. Usually Aiba's smile would smooth over even the worse tension. But at times like these, a smile wouldn't help them nor bring the right message. "I'm Doctor Aiba Masaki. I'm a neurologist."  
  
The wife covered her gasp with a trembling hand. "Oh god. Is something mentally wrong with my baby?"  
  
Aiba glanced down at the said patient. A ventilator hooked to the child like a life line, but Aiba could see the little girl's chest rising and falling normally. The parents were lucky to act quickly and bring her to the hospital.  
  
"I can only give a prognosis at the moment," Aiba explained slowly and calmly as he could despite the husband glaring hard at him. "Until I perform the proper assessment, I cannot say what she has for sure. However, her condition as well as her history points to possible clues that this is a serious condition."  
  
"Then just tell us already," the man blurted out sharply. "Just tell us what you think it is. Stop making us more worried as it is!"  
  
Aiba sucked in his breath to calm himself down. Jun—as said in the case file that Aiba read beforehand—walked around Sachiko's bed to stand closer to Aiba as if to threaten. The wife, Kiko, remained next to her daughter and holding her tiny hand.  
  
The doctor let out a sigh and spoke in a clear and soft voice. "I believe your daughter is suffering from cerebral palsy. It is a disorder that impairs movement because the lack of brain development." Aiba could see the couple's eyes widen with fear the more he talked. "It is extremely hard to detect in infants. Usually symptoms don't show until two or three years of age. However, there are links that in vitro fertilization and premature birth increases the chances for a child to have cerebral palsy. It is possible that Sachiko may suffer from future problems such as seizures and difficulty in speech, movement, sleeping, and eating...I'm so sorry."  
  
The air was thick with tension, and Aiba wished he had more to say. Finally, Kiko let out a sob and hid her face into the bed sheets. Jun's eyes were wide and glossy, and Aiba had a hard time looking away from them. Aiba could almost see his reflection. But Jun's expression was full of pain and disbelief.  
  
"Is...is there a cure?" Jun croaked at last. "You can fix Sachiko, right?"  
  
Aiba dropped his gaze for only a mere second when Jun suddenly grabbed a fist full of his white coat. Jun brought his face close to Aiba's and snarled. "Is there a cure?!"  
  
"Jun, stop..." Kiko moaned from across the room, but Jun didn't let go.  
  
"I'm afraid there isn't," Aiba uttered quietly, but Kiko cried even harder into the bed. "But it can be managed with treatment and proper therapy. In some cases, surgery might also-"  
  
"Stop kidding with me!" Jun shouted and shoved Aiba away.  
  
"Matsumoto-san, I must ask you to lower your voice," Aiba said sternly, his glasses slightly crooked from the push. "This is a hospital, and your daughter is still recovering."  
  
Jun didn't shout after Aiba's words, but the anger was still present in his voice. "Your prognosis is wrong, and I demand for my daughter to have a proper diagnosis!"  
  
"I need for her to be awake before I carry on with the rest of the assessment," Aiba tried to stand his ground. "Please, Matsumoto-san. I know this is a very difficult time for you, and I understand what you're going through, but-"  
  
"Do you?!" Jun glared at him, his eyebrow twitching. "Do you know what it's like for a doctor to tell you that your child can no longer eat, sleep, and play like a normal person anymore?! Do you really know the fear of your child no longer breathing in your hands?!"  
  
Aiba clenched his jaw.  
  
Jun's vicious eyes suddenly turned soft as the tears finally started brimming in his eyes. As if frustrated with emotions surfacing, Jun bowed his head and headed out the door. Kiko didn't call after him, and Aiba was alone with her and Sachiko. At least with Jun out of the picture, Aiba's breathing and heart rate became steady again. He started approaching Kiko, but the tired mother heard his footsteps and raised her head.  
  
"Please...give me some time, Doctor," Kiko moaned before her sobs came back. "I just...I w-wish to be alone with Sachiko..."  
  
Aiba felt his heart sink at the sound of her shaky voice. He was a doctor; he was supposed to help people. But he obeyed her wishes and quietly left the room. He leaned against the wall and took of his glasses. He rubbed the bridge of his nose before sliding his hand over his tired face. It wasn't the first time Aiba had to deal with difficult parents over their child, but it still exhausted every part of his body. The clock over his head read half past midnight, so he headed back to his office to finish up his report.  
  
When he turned around a corner, Aiba saw his wife sitting on the floor with her knees up and her head bowed down against her arms. Their nurse shortage was worse than ever for the past few weeks, and Aiba could see the stress gradually building up on their staff. Seeing his wife so defeated always breaks his heart. Aiba approached Yuka and sat down next to her alone in the hallway. She looked up to see who decided to accompany her in this late hour, and he gave her a warm smile when she saw him. Yuka grinned back as well.  
  
But the smile was short-lived.  
  
Yuka's eyes turned red as tears started seeping out and down her cheeks. Aiba's eyebrows pinched together as he watched Yuka break down in front of him. She sniffed quietly as Aiba let her head rest against his shoulder in the deserted hallway. The hospital setting was tough. There were times when Aiba's miracle smile was contagious to everyone in the ward. But every once in a while, there would be those long exhausted days that drains everyone. Even Aiba and his wife.  
  
"I'm so tired, Masaki," she sobbed. "These children...always crying and crying at night...I'm so tired..."  
  
Aiba only glanced up at the opposite wall, recalling Jun's sadden face and his angry words. "...I know. But they're not the only ones in pain."  
  
*****  
  
Sho woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He rolled to his side, snuggling the blankets closer to his face, and inhaled deeply. Only then did his eyes snapped opened when he realized he wasn't the one that made coffee.  
  
"Nino?"  
  
Sho hurried out of his room and found Nino in the kitchen chopping tofu and green onions for the miso soup. This was the first time Sho has ever seen Nino cooking, and Sho's mouth was stuck in an awestruck expression. Nino glanced up and smirked.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"M-morning," Sho grinned back and walked up to him. "You're cooking?"  
  
"I've seen you and Sachi do it a bunch of times," Nino pouted, concentrating on the amount if miso paste he was supposed to put in. "It can't be that hard, right?"  
  
Sho chuckled after Nino poured in the paste. "Well for starters, you put too much in."  
  
"...ah."  
  
"I can fix it," Sho said, ready to take the spoon away from Nino.  
  
But the violinist turned away from Sho. "No, let me do it. I want to do this by myself. I know I can but...just watch over me."  
  
Sho still had his hand out, but he took a step back and watched Nino make breakfast. The autistic savant moved a lot slower than he normally does when he plays his violin. Sho assumed Nino's skilled fingers would be efficient at other tasks, but Nino had a hard time planning out the next step of the process. Every time Sho tried to tell him the correct answer, Nino would hush him up and figured it out himself.  
  
In the end, Nino pulled off a successful meal. And the man seemed proud of himself.  
  
"It's sorta like music, only it's with different sounds," Nino explained over the table. "If I think of the noises as music, then the set becomes clear and I can understand the order."  
  
"I'm not sure what the means," Sho chuckled with his left cheek full with rice, "but I'm glad you're finally starting to cook."  
  
Nino set his chopsticks. His eyes cast down with his brow furrowed. "I want to do more. Sachi had always been there to take care of me. But now that she's gone, I realize I can't go on like this."  
  
Sho slowed down his chewing. The seriousness in Nino's tone perked up Sho's attention greatly. "Do you mean...you're going to start living on your own?"  
  
Nino quickly gazed up. "You've taught me how to play the piano, and you've stayed with me after I lost Sachi." Nino gave a confident nod. "I want to know how to pay my own bills, how to fill the bathtub, how to manage my schedule. I need to be more responsible. I have to stop relying on people like my sister...and you."  
  
There was utter silence between them, and Sho couldn't take his eyes away from the sincerity in Nino's face. Sensing their awkwardness, Nino glanced away and resumed back to eating as if they never had this conversation. But in the back of Sho's mind, a new pending fear was growing.  
  
At one point, Sho would have loved to hear those words come out of Nino's mouth. It felt like ages ago when Sho wanted nothing more than to leave Nino's home early instead of dragging his feet back for practice. Sho hardly did what he wanted, and his individuality was draining away just by living with Nino. But everything has changed. Now, Sho yearns for Nino's dependency. There was something about caring for someone for so long but not being able to let go. Sho liked the feeling to be relied on.  
  
Now, Nino talks about being more responsible?! Where would Sho's place be then?  
  
Sho cleared his throat. "But you need me, right?"  
  
Without looking up, Nino replied back. "Of course. I can't learn all of these things by myself."  
  
As subtly as he could, Sho let out a sigh of relief. So long as someone needs him, Sho's guilt-ridden past wouldn't have to suffocate him...  
  
*****  
  
Now the bartender was telling Jun to stop, and he finally understood why Ohno was so annoyed with the man. Jun clicked his tongue in annoyance, and the bartender quickly refilled his drink. At least Jun had a little more bite to get what he wanted from the bartender than Ohno. Jun swallowed another gulp of beer and lowered his head.  
  
Ever since he left the hospital in the early morning, Jun spent all day on his own roaming around the city and still dulled from his shock. He shed stubborn tears every other hour, more so whenever he came across kids running under the summer sun. Kiko kept calling on his cell phone, but he just wanted to be alone and lost with his thoughts. When night came, Jun's eyes were dry and practically bloodshot, and all he could think of was find a place to drink.  
  
And here he was, drinking in the same lonely bar.  
  
Jun wasn't even sure where he was heading until his feet led him back to the same bar. It was quiet, no loud music, and the bartender wasn't always nagging (aside from the drinking). At least here, Jun could unwind and calm down a little even though the grief was still swirling deep inside him. Jun always associate alcohol as a cleanser of that grief, but this pain would never go away. Never.  
  
Jun slammed down his empty glass before moaning quietly to himself. "Sachiko..."  
  
"So you finally said something."  
  
Jun glanced to his side and saw it was his drinking buddy Ohno. He didn't even notice the man until just now. Jun sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Sorry...a lot has happened."  
  
"Same," Ohno replied. "Who wants to go first?"  
  
Jun waited for the bartender to finish wiping a few glasses and heading to the back to read his magazine. He leaned on the counter and played around with his shot glass. "Remember the last time I ran out before my wife was in labor?"  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"It was a premature birth."  
  
He could see from the corner of his eye that Ohno turned to look at him. "Is she alright?"  
  
Jun lifted his glass to his lips. "She...she had a birth detect...cerebral palsy." And Jun down the last of his drink.  
  
There was long pause between them, but Jun was thankful. It meant Ohno was really taking it all in for him. Somehow, Jun wished he met Ohno sooner to appreciate his company more. Rather than looking for advice, Ohno offered him an ear to listen. And that was all Jun really wanted.  
  
"I can only imagine," Ohno uttered softly. "But in some sense...I do know what it's like to feel helpless...and see someone you care for suffer."  
  
Jun gazed back and spotted a silicone bracelet on Ohno's wrist. When he saw the familiar hospital's logo, Jun pointed at it. "What's that?"  
  
Ohno glanced down at his bracelet. "This? Doctor Aiba gave this to me."  
  
Jun's eyebrows shot up. "You know Doctor Aiba?"  
  
"Yeah, he was my son's neurologist," Ohno explained before rubbing the bracelet between his fingers. "The hospital is holding a charity concert for the children." Jun spotted Ohno's lips twitched slightly upward. "He told me he once had a daughter. But one day while playing baseball, she got hit by a car. He gave me a good lecture on how lucky I should be that my child is alive. Aiba told me to fight for my child...but I don't even know anymore."  
  
Jun sat there in silence as traces of guilt start building up inside. He let out a quiet moan as he realized the things he yelled at Aiba not too long ago. Jun was just worried for Sachiko, and his angry words just spilled out of him. He had no idea the pain Aiba must have been through when he listened to Jun's rage.  
  
Jun glanced back at his drinking buddy and noticed the man was still staring down at the charity bracelet. "Why wouldn't you fight? Kenta is your son. I...I would do anything to protect me daughter."  
  
"Kenta is not my son," Ohno sighed, and Jun's lips parted in shock. "One day when I went to the hospital for Kenta's therapy, Ninomiya Kazunari was there."  
  
"Really?!" Jun gawked.  
  
Ohno nodded. "Apparently, Aiba is also his doctor as well. Funny how you introduced me his music and suddenly I met him. Well, I didn't really met him face-to-face. A...complication happened."  
  
Jun waited as Ohno took another gulp of his beer, groaned out loud, and continued with his story.  
  
"I met with my ex-wife," Ohno said, his eyes gazing down at his drink. "She was there to take Kenta back. We argued and suddenly...this man showed up, and Minami started shouting at him. He was one that started all this." Ohno's brow furrowed briefly as if there was a hidden hatred buried inside him. "He must be Kenta's real father."  
  
"Did you catch his face?" Jun asked, feeling intrigued with Ohno's story.  
  
Ohno shook his head. "Only for a few seconds, but he ran away the moment Minami started pointing at him. But I did hear Ninomiya yelling "Sho" to him. I think that's his name."  
  
Jun's heart jolted for a split second. "Did you say Sho?!"  
  
Ohno glanced back at him from his sudden volume. "Yeah. It seemed like Ninomiya knew him. Why?"  
  
"I think I know who you're talking about," Jun nodded. "Nino's sister died recently, and we attended the memorial service. There was a man named Sho who was with Nino. Kiko told me that he is Nino's new piano accompanist. But now that his sister died, Nino's new caretaker is him...Sakurai Sho. I can give you their address. You should talk to him."  
  
Ohno's eyes were wide with the new information. He sat more straight in his seat as if he was eager to know more. But then Ohno's eyelids drooped and so did his position. He resumed back to original hunch and brought his drink closer.  
  
Jun frowned. "Ohno?"  
  
"What's the point?" Ohno mumbled, looking more defeated and dampened. "Minami wouldn't let me see Kenta. And frankly, I don't think I want to see the guy. Knowing what he did and what he started. I probably wouldn't even control myself if I saw him again. And Kenta...Kenta is better off with his mother."  
  
Jun sucked in his bottom lip. He wasn't sure why he felt this urge to help Ohno, but the sight of Ohno's poor, sorry, hunched-over demeanor made Jun think of his own future. This man was once a father for a good six months, and now his child was taken away from him. Jun wondered if he'll end up like Ohno: depressed, child-less, and nursing hangovers.  
  
Jun quickly pulled out his cellphone and scrolled through his contacts. He used to think Kiko's nagging behavior of organizing his contacts was pointless. But now he was sending silent thank you notes to her in his head as he found Nino's new home address. Sachi made sure that if anything happened, Nino could call either Kiko or Jun.  
  
He asked the bartender for pen and pencil, and he scribbled down the address before passing it to Ohno.  
  
"Talk to him," Jun said firmly.  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"Then ask him for a DNA test," Jun snapped back. "You can pound his face all you want, but get his DNA so you can finally get rid of that doubt inside you."  
  
Ohno stared back at Jun as if he was a mad man. "Why are you always helping me?"  
  
Jun lowered his gaze. He stood up and pushed the note closer to Ohno. "I believe what Aiba said. You should fight for your child. Ohno...you really have no idea how lucky you are to have your child healthy and alive." Jun pulled out his wallet to pay his tab. He was about to leave until he glanced over his shoulder. "Ohno, you make a great father. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting here brooding about your son."  
  
Jun left the bar and walked down the streets. The July night air felt welcoming despite swallowing down shots of grieving alcohol, and he flagged down a taxi. As the driver made their way back to the hospital, Jun glanced down at his watch. It was already one in the morning.  
  
There was something he had to do first.  
  
The main lobby and hallways were absent of any visitors and patients except for the night shift employees—Kiko might be at home—but Jun wasn't heading for Sachiko's room. He found the neurology department and walked down the halls with his loud footsteps. He found Aiba's office, but the room was empty.  
  
Jun held onto a slimmer of hope that Aiba hadn't left home yet, and he continued to look around the dark empty ward until he entered an open playing room for kids. Someone with a green and white shirt sat on one of the kiddie benches while holding a baseball in his hand. Jun approached from behind, and Aiba turned around at the sound of Jun's boots.  
  
"Matsumoto..."  
  
Jun made an awkward swing with his arms. "You can call me Jun."  
  
Aiba only nodded and turned back to stare down at the lonely baseball. Jun came around and sat next to the doctor. "I just want to say...I'm sorry for what I said." Aiba gazed up at him. Jun noticed he had his glasses off. "I overreacted. I should have been more mature about the situation. I was just so worried and so scared, and things just started coming out of my mouth without thinking. I know you can only do so much and-"  
  
"Jun," Aiba sighed quietly yet it was enough to silence Jun's blabbering. "It's okay. I'm used to it. As a doctor, I run into these situations."  
  
"Well, I mean...it's just...I had no idea."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Ohno told me...about how your daughter died. And yet I said those awful things. I'm so sorry."  
  
Despite the lack of light in the ward, Jun was able to see a bright smile spread across Aiba's face. "You know Ohno-san too? The man was right. It is a small world. I'm almost tempted to ask if you personally know the violinist Ninomiya as well...wait. Don't answer me. That look on your face is starting to scare me."  
  
Jun let out a chuckle. It was strange how even in the darkness, Aiba was able to change the mood from mourning to silly. Perhaps that's why so many people are drawn to the man. Ohno, Nino, and now Jun are connected to him. Jun was thankful he finally met Aiba.  
  
He stood up and bowed to Aiba. "Please take care of Sachiko."  
  
Aiba grinned and uttered as sweet as honey. "I'll do my best."  
  
Jun took Aiba's hands and shook them heartily. For a moment, Jun could feel his eyes burning again, and he quickly made one last bow and left the ward. Everything will be alright. Jun will fight with Sachiko, and hopefully Ohno will do so for his kid.  
  
At least they both have a common ally. Aiba Masaki.  
  
*****  
  
When Jun left, Aiba let out another tired sigh before standing up. He stretched his back and tossed the baseball back into the toy box. He glasses was still in his breast pocket, but he glanced at the clock. He knew his shift ended since evening. But even though it was past midnight, Aiba always had his habit of checking his rounds through the pediatric ward.  
  
The children were fast asleep, and Aiba also spotted a few nurses sleeping as well. But he didn't have the heart to wake them up. These nurses worked so hard; it was almost cruel that the administrators refuse to change their schedules. But what choice do they have with so little at hand. Yuka was lucky to have her shift end early. However, she insisted to stay and help relieve some burden from the other nurses. But Aiba told her to go home.  
  
Finally, he entered the last room of pediatrics department. It was empty, but he walked in anyway. The bed was neatly pressed and ready for a new patient. But Aiba recalled a time when Koharu laid in that very bed...  
  
*****  
  
_He didn't mean to throw too hard. And he didn't see the car coming. But by the time he did, Koharu had already ran out into the street to get the ball. Aiba dashed as hard as he could, but the truck already ran over her and Koharu laid unconscious. The driver had the decency to call an ambulance while Aiba tried to resuscitate her._  
  
"Koharu!"  _Aiba cried._ "It's okay, Koharu-chan! Papa will make you better!"  
  
_But there was so much blood...so much damage..._  
  
_By the time they reached the hospital, Aiba feared the worse. The emergency doctors and nurses ran around frantically, trying to recover Koharu. But they're doing it all wrong. They're doing it wrong! Aiba rushed out and tried to push the useless nurses and physicians out of the way so he could save Koharu himself._  
  
"Let me do it!"  _Aiba shouted as a few nurses pushed him away._ "Let me do it! I'm a student doctor!"  
  
_But they only pushed him farther away and out of the ER room. They wheeled her into surgery, and Aiba had to wait for long agonizing hours. His wife came after he called her, but she was brave enough not to cry. They held each other close and waited for the surgeon to give his report.  
  
Finally, they were allowed to see her. But it was worse that Aiba imagined._  
  
"She has severe damage to her brain. I'm afraid if she doesn't recover, she might enter a vegetative state."  
  
_They moved her to the neurology department where she remained for weeks. The care was intense and excruciating. Yuka took time off her part-time job so the nurses wouldn't have to deal with a brain-dead child. Aiba studied even harder in his field, hoping there was some way to wake Koharu. But nothing came to him.  
  
One night, while Yuka was looking for a new job, Aiba visited Koharu alone. Her eyes were partly open and staring forever at the same spot in the ceiling for the past two months. There were so many machines just to keep Koharu alive: feeding tubes, heart monitor, ventilator. Aiba stood in the dark, looming over her, and spotted a single tear slid down Koharu's cheek.  
  
He couldn't take it anymore. Why must his daughter have to suffer more? If he was a good father, maybe none of this would have happened. If he was a better father, maybe Koharu wouldn't have to cry.  
  
He found a box of rubber gloves and slipped them on.  
  
He switched off all the machines and gently closed Koharu's eyelids..._  
  
*****  
  
Aiba stood over the same bed, now empty, and his tears wouldn't stop falling....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's two! (kinda) :3  
> sorry for the lack of sakumiya. the side stories were getting some focus in this chapter. but i hope you enjoyed some of the insight from aiba's pov and how everyone is coming together!


	11. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAkw_Wi4yIo

Sweat build up on Sho's brow rather quickly, and he saw from the corner of his eye that Nino also looked flustered. The two musicians played their instruments with such energy that Sho could have sworn their eardrums would burst. But the music score indicated them to play extremely loud, but it's not enough to be "loud." Nino's deft fingers were a blur on the violin, and his arm swung hard and deep. Sho kept the harmony on the piano, but he made sure to stay under Nino's volume. Together, their vehement and upbeat music filled the practice room.  
  
Then, Nino played a long note alone. Sho took this chance to catch his breath as well as to turn a page on the music score. For the next measures, Nino played by himself in a beautifully sweet solo. It was a complete contrast to what they played earlier. The calming after the storm. There was no hint of sorrow in Nino's music, nor did Sho sense regret in the violinist's playing. Instead, Nino's music sounded mellow and healing. A recovering sense. The corner of Sho's lips turned up before he resumed back to his piano.  
  
Nino was getting better.  
  
There were times when Nino would still look depressed, but it was less than before. At least Nino was back into playing his violin again. It seemed to be the perfect remedy for him, and Sho stopped giving Nino's medication from Aiba. Sho was glad the man was playing his violin with more emotions again besides sadness, remorse, or vengefulness.  
  
And Nino kept his word on being more responsible. There were times when Sho found Nino vacuuming the living room or doing the laundry. Nino still had a hard time sorting through his paperwork, and Sho helped him there the most. But having Nino do more work than practicing his violin made all other house chores less burdensome. Sho could finally focus on his piano skills more often. In some sense, Sho gained back some of his old individuality and his role as a pianist instead of some house butler.  
  
They both crescendo to their climatic ending. Sho turned his head in time to see Nino swerving his body with his bow arm, completely absorbed into the feel of their duet. Sho, too, snapped his head whenever he pressed down a series of chords. The music rose higher and higher; Sho could practically feel the tension and heat rising inside his whole body. At last, they finished their final note and the music echoed throughout the entire house until there was nothing left but silence. Only then did Sho took a breath.  
  
"That was great," Sho smiled.  
  
Nino nodded back. "That  _was_  great."  
  
Sho chuckled at Nino's repeated words and stood up. "But that was only morning practice though. I hate to imagine what you'll put me through during the afternoon practice."  
  
Nino made a little smug grin before turning around to hide his face. Sho set down the fallboard while Nino hummed the piece they've just play while cleaning his violin. Sho watched from behind as Nino tenderly care for his precious violin. The way Nino gently wiped the strings up and down made Sho swallow. Sho's eyes trailed to the back of Nino's neck were a little perspiration shined. Nino rolled his head to stretch his sore neck, exposing more skin, and Sho quickly looked away.  
  
"Sho," Nino spoke up, "have you ever played the violin?"  
  
"Only once," Sho admitted, crossing his arms and tilting his head in thought. "When I was a kid, my mom made me take violin lessons, but I quit after the first day."  
  
Nino chuckled. "Why? The violin is a beautiful instrument. It's probably the best musical instrument out there. How could you quit after one time?"  
  
"I guess I wasn't that much in love with it as you are," Sho smirked.  
  
"Do you want to try playing it for a bit?" Nino offered. "You taught me how to play the piano. I'll show you how to play the violin."  
  
Sho blinked a few times, astonished. He wondered if anyone was even allowed to touch Nino's beloved violin. The brilliant savant took such diligent care of his instrument, Sho assumed it was worth more than his own life. And yet Nino held out the violin to Sho as if offering a spare pencil.  
  
Nino walked up to Sho. "Hold it by the violin's neck. Here. And let it sit under your chin."  
  
With Nino's guide, Sho brought the dark wooden instrument on his shoulder and leaned his jaw against the chin rest. Sho suddenly went stiff from the awkward position. Nino's neck was shorter, so Sho had to lean down even farther to have the violin secure under his chin. Sensing Sho's discomfort, Nino giggled at the pianist goofy stance. Nino retreated back to his violin case to get the bow.  
  
"You hold the bow at the frog. Your thumb goes down here," Nino mumbled as he positioned Sho's fingers. "Middle and ring finger over like that...lay your index finger like this...your pinkie curled..."  
  
But Sho couldn't help but think how cute Nino's fingers looked as they played around with his own.  
  
"Make sure you play only between the bridge and the end of the fingerboard," Nino indicated, and Sho brought the bow hair to the string.  
  
Suddenly, Nino appeared at Sho's left hand and started talking fast. "On the D string, your first finger is about an inch from the very tip of the fingerboard. That's an E note. Your second finger plays the F note, but a whole step makes it F#. And then just a half-step after that is G. A half-step after that is a G# or an A-flat. If you stretch your pinkie...yeah, like that, it's a whole step again to A. But the third string is the open A string-"  
  
 _"His babbling is so cute,"_ Sho thought while trying not to smile.  
  
The phone rang down the hall.  
  
They both glanced at each other, Nino looking somewhat disappointed that they were interrupted. But Sho handed back the man's violin. "I'll get it," he said.  
  
Sho left the room—he felt slightly cooler outside of the practice room—and answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello, is this Sakurai Sho?"  
  
Sho frowned slightly. "Yes?"  
  
"This is Doctor Seiji. I'm afraid I have-"  
  
Nino skipped down the hall and chanted "milk buns, milk buns" over and over.  
  
Sho called after him before he entered the kitchen. "Only two! Don't eat too much!" But Sho smirked when he saw Nino tripped slightly at Sho's words. Nino turned around, pouted at Sho, and started walking back towards him. Sho returned back to the phone. "I'm sorry, Doctor. What is it you called for?"  
  
"Sakurai-san, there is no easier way to say this...but your mother has passed away."  
  
Nino playfully poked at Sho. "I want more milk buns."  
  
"She had a stroke this morning," Doctor Seiji continued. "We did everything we could...I am sorry."  
  
"I'll get you one too if you let me have three milk buns. Sho?"  
  
The doctor continued explaining the medical problems that happened, but his voice seemed to drain out from Sho's head, as well as Nino's nagging for a treat. Sho's eyes stared blankly at the wall with his hand still holding the phone.  
  
For once in his life, Sho's mind was a complete blank.  
  
*****  
  
Kiko looked up everything she could about cerebral palsy. She consulted with other doctors and professionals on the internet and in person. She took time off work just to look after Sachiko. She read numerous research articles and attended to many meetings about the disorder. Kiko's goal was to absorb as much information as she could about cerebral palsy just so she could provide the perfect care for her daughter. Jun, on the other hand, went back to his restaurant and came home rather late almost every other day. But they do take turns with night watches.  
  
The first time Kiko witness a seizure scared her to bits. Her mind raced with possible solutions, but she could only sit and watch her baby shake rather abnormally. Sachiko's arms would lock into place, and then she would resume back to normal as if nothing happened. Every time it happened, Kiko felt the same lump stuck in her throat. But Kiko did not allow herself to cry in front of Sachiko.  
  
The medications were confusing, but Kiko studied hard to make sure she administered the right amount at the right time. She barely noticed the bags under her eyes growing heavier, nor did she noticed Jun's worried gaze. All that matter was caring for Sachiko and suiting to her needs. There were times when Kiko woke up in the middle of the night just to make sure Sachiko was breathing, but the baby slept like an angel.  
  
The only thing annoying her was Jun.  
  
The man didn't seem to do anything. He would only play with her and watch television with her. Sachiko would smile back at the screen, but then her facial expression seemed to be stuck that way. Jun laughed hard and mimicked her face. Kiko held back her tongue, but watching her husband making fun of her daughter's stiff face made her blood boil. He wasn't doing anything to find the best treatment or understanding more about Sachiko's disability. Kiko was the only one doing all the hard work. Who does he think he is?!  
  
One night, Kiko was cooking dinner when she finally heard the front door open.  
  
"You're home late?" Kiko said bitterly in the kitchen when Jun returned.  
  
Jun set down his briefcase and started removing his tie. "It was a long meeting with the restaurant managers. They're thinking of building another one, so we went out for drinks."  
  
"Oh, you went drinking," Kiko said in a sour tone. She started chopping the vegetables in a more vicious manner. "So then you're not hungry."  
  
"Umm, well...no, but-"  
  
"No, that's fine!" Kiko squeaked, tossing the vegetables into her pot. "It's not like I researched for hours online trying to find good meals that's best for Sachiko. It's a recipe that takes three hours to make, and I figured we all try to eat like Sachiko so she won't feel lonely as she grows up."  
  
She started moving about the kitchen in a hasty manner. Kiko stirred the pot with a wooden spoon, turning on the water faucet to clean the spoon before slamming it down in the sink, and then proceed to slamming more things.  
  
"It's fine that you're not hungry!" Kiko said louder, not once glancing up at her husband. "I wasn't hungry myself either. I've been focusing too much on caring for Sachiko, but that's just me. I know you're busy with your work. Heck, I left for two months, so it's only fair that now I'm taking care of her. But all this cooking is really nothing! None of it! You know, I might as well throw it away and you-"  
  
Jun rushed into the kitchen and hugged her tightly from behind. Kiko paused for a moment, but she quickly wiggled herself away from his arms and walked away from the kitchen and down the hall to their bedroom.  
  
"Kiko!" She heard him calling after her. "Kiko...Kiko, wait-"  
  
Jun was right behind her as she whirled around to face him.  
  
"Why aren't you doing anything?!" She screamed at him. His eyes widen while Kiko's stung with angry tears. "I feel like I'm the only one doing all this work to make sure Sachiko is getting the right care. I've stayed up late at night to know all I could about cerebral palsy, and check up on her to make sure she's alive! I'm the only one cooking her meals and give her the medicine!"  
  
Sachiko started whining since she was also in the same room. It was the only time Kiko decided to ignore her as she continued to glare up at Jun's regretful face.  
  
"Why would you go drinking with your colleagues at a time like this?!" Kiko wailed out, her hot tears finally spilling out. She fiercely whipped them away, but her voice started to fail her. "Do you care m-more about your restaurant t-than Sachiko?! Why a-aren't you trying to c-care for her?!"  
  
Sachiko started crying now, but it wasn't so loud that she needed immediate attention. Jun also didn't go to retrieve their crying baby. He focused on Kiko and didn't break eye contact. Kiko wasn't sure why Jun looked so sorry; she assumed she was finally able to make Jun feel guilty.  
  
Then, Sachiko let out a really loud wail. Jun looked away from Kiko at last and turned to pick up Sachiko from her crib. Their daughter's cries subsided as Jun calmly rocked her.  
  
With his back still facing her, he uttered softly. "Kiko...who do you see? Someone with cerebral palsy, or a girl named Sachiko?"  
  
Kiko sniffed back her tears and croaked. "What?"  
  
Jun turned around, still patting Sachiko's tiny back. "You're doing a lot for Sachiko, I know. But what about what she likes?"  
  
Kiko stared blankly at Jun.  
  
"Did you know that Sachiko laughs at Bananaman?" Jun continued. "She loves the stupid faces Himura makes on TV. Or what about her favorite song? She can't say it, but she smiles while listening to my aiko CD." Jun walked up to Kiko who couldn't stop the tears sliding down her face. "Why are you looking at our daughter like a thing with a disorder and not like an actual person?"  
  
Something broke inside her, and she closed her eyes and covered her face. He was right. She never once played with Sachiko. It all felt like work to Kiko: looking for nutritional meals, measuring the medications, timing Sachiko's seizures. Kiko was so focused on cerebral palsy, she forgot to be a mother.  
  
When she lowered her hands, she saw Sachiko gazing up at her with round eyes. Kiko took her from Jun's arms and held her close to her chest. Her sobs came out in shaking breaths. Kiko's main priority was to make sure Sachiko received the best care, but she stressed herself to the point of near exhaustion. After all the research Kiko did, Jun was the one who knew more about Sachiko.  
  
"I'm so sorry..." Kiko moaned, "...I'm so sorry."  
  
"No, I'm sorry," Jun sighed, pulled her and Sachiko into his arms. Sachiko was safe between them, and Kiko rested her forehead against Jun's wide shoulder. "You're right. I should try to care more about Sachiko's medical needs. But Kiko..."  
  
She gazed up with her tear-stained face and red eyes. Jun, however, smiled back at her sweetly.  
  
"Please don't think I'm not doing my part as a parent too," he whispered.  
  
Kiko shook her head. "I won't. I promise I won't ever doubt you." She laid her head back on his shoulder as he rocked them both. "From now on, I know you are doing everything that is best for Sachiko...and I will too."  
  
She felt Jun kiss the top of her head. In her chest, she heard Sachiko cooing and twitching her good leg. In the arms of her husband, and with her baby in her own, Kiko wondered if this is just the first test of their small family. No doubt there will be more complications down the road, but Kiko knew they can overcome them.  
  
Together...  
  
*****  
  
Sho sat on the couch since the phone call. Lunch passed and dinner time passed. The house was quiet even during Nino's normal one o'clock practice time, but Sho didn't hear anything. Or rather, he wasn't paying attention to the music. He didn't even respond to Nino's moans and complains next to him. His eyes seemed deadlocked on the floor, but his mental vision focused on something far away.  
  
His mother is dead. The one person Sho always called to whenever he was feeling down. Ever since Sho's arrest, all of his friends abandoned him. His former co-workers never called him. Even his own family seemed to ignore him. They all saw him for what he was back then. A criminal. A sex offender.  
  
Only his mother was there for him. Teasing him, nurturing him, and helping him when he felt down. And now she was gone. Was this how Nino felt when Sachi died? Was there this vast emptiness inside him that he didn't know what to do? Sho didn't have the energy to do anything. He wasn't crying; his dry eyes surprised him. But he wasn't surprised with the lack of motivation he had left in him. Sho just wanted to sit here... and do nothing.  
  
"Sho," Nino mumbled next to him for the tenth time that day. "Sho...let's make dinner already. I ate the last milk bun."  
  
"..."  
  
Nino started shaking Sho's shoulders. "Sho!"  
  
"Mmmm..."  
  
Nino went away again, but after ten minutes he returned with more energy. "Sho! Come with me!"  
  
The violinist started pulling Sho to his feet. Nino held Sho's hand and led him back to the practice room. Why did Nino drag him here? Even though he didn't have any energy to do anything, practicing or listening to music was the last thing on Sho's mind. He turned around to walk away, but Nino pulled him back inside. Sho didn't bother to protest, and he allowed Nino to sit him down in front of the piano. But there was no way Sho was going to play the piano now. He didn't want to. He didn't have the heart to.  
  
But Nino didn't pick up his violin. Instead, he sat down next to Sho on the piano bench. "Play along with me," Nino instructed as he placed his own hand on the piano keys.  
  
Sho only gazed down at the black and white keys rather lifelessly; his hands remained still on his lap. However, Nino was grinning and plucking the notes playfully. At first, Sho's mind was blank and zeroed out of everything. But then he listened closely to the melody Nino was playing.  
  
It was the TV jingle Sho played when they first met.  
  
Sho watched Nino play the notes with his right hand over and over again. Then, Nino seemed to be lost in his own music playing. The man nodded his head to the music with his ear slightly turned towards the keys as if he could understand the sound better. The concentration showed on Nino's brow, and soon he drew his hand away with a smile.  
  
"Play!" Nino nodded to Sho.  
  
But Sho only blinked back in awe at Nino's energy. How can this man play so happily on the piano at a time like this? How can this man assume that music can fix everything?  
  
As if annoyed by Sho's lackluster response—which was rich considering how much Sho had to put up with Nino's dead repsonses—, Nino reached for Sho's left hand. Sho watched Nino slid his short hand underneath Sho's and touched the keys. Sho's hand overlapped Nino's, but Sho didn't budge as Nino began playing Beethoven's Pathetique Adagio cantabile.  
  
Sho sat there in silence, staring down at his dull motionless fingers shadowing Nino's. The savant violinist still couldn't grasp the notes for the left, and Sho lifted his hand away from Nino's to play on his own. Nino started smiling wider when Sho finally played the correct harmony, and Nino carried on playing the right hand which he knew best. Sho frowned slightly at Nino's overly happy reaction, but he continued to play the piece.  
  
There was something about the piece that seemed to drown out everything else from Sho's mind. Its soft and slow melody took away almost everything negative inside him. Soon, his face relaxed and focused solely on playing the piano. With Nino next to him, everything seemed to wash away. They were once again lost in the music. Then out of habit, Sho lifted his right hand and carried on playing the piece on his own.  
  
"That's it, Sho," Nino muttered next to him softly.  
  
Sho's lips parted as he watched his own hands danced across the keys. The music grew louder at his fingertips the harder he pressed down the keys. Then, he lightly tapped the keys to play softer. There was a tiny twitch of his lips, but Sho continued to play. Nino joined in on a higher octave and echoed Sho's piano playing. Nino learned to play the piano rather quickly, and soon they played an echoing game.  
  
Sho would play a part of the sonata, and then Nino would play it back but in a different style. It didn't distort the tone of the piece, rather it was as if the music expanded their world. Then, Nino made the game more challenging by adding new variations to the song. Completely original. His brilliant mind kicked up a notch, and suddenly Sho couldn't focus on anything else but Nino's playing. Sho put his listening skills to the test and copied as best as he could to mimic Nino's melody. They continued this, one after another, hoping to one up the other from playing. Sho didn't realize he was smiling.  
  
Then, Sho's finger slipped on the wrong key, and he groaned out loud.  
  
"Yes! I win!" Nino cheered, and Sho let out a chuckle.  
  
So that was it. Nino was trying to cheer him up. Sho blinked as he stared at Nino's profile, smiling and laughing at Sho's mistake. Nino was able to sense Sho's distress, and rather than talking to him, Nino made Sho smile again. He was never good with words, but if it was with music, Nino could express anything. He wanted Sho to be happy again...  
  
Sho leaned forward and gently kissed Nino's grinning lips. Sho kept his eyes closed, hoping he could savor the moment, but he could feel Nino's smile slowly retracting away. Nino didn't move, and Sho's heart came to a halt for a millisecond. Sho's brow furrowed slightly, hoping Nino would react eventually. But the violinist didn't. Sho moved his jaw and pulled Nino's bottom lip into his mouth, drawing it in tenderly.  
  
His hand was itching to feel Nino's smooth face again, but he never got to feel the subtle touch. Nino suddenly pulled away from the kiss and quickly ran away. Sho listened to Nino's slamming his bedroom door, and Sho sighed out loud.  
  
"What was I thinking?" He mumbled, burying his face into his hands.  
  
Sho glanced down at his watch and remembered he had not feed Nino once. Feeling even more guilty, Sho quickly headed for the kitchen and made a quick meal. To show how sorry he was, Sho made Nino's favorite meal: hamburger steak. He placed the plate on a tray, along with Nino's favorite tea drink, and carried it to Nino's room.  
  
He knocked on the door. "Nino...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I mean, I did but I just...well, I made you dinner. It's your favorite."  
  
There was no response.  
  
Sho opened the door and saw the room was dark. He spotted Nino hiding under the covers with his toes barely sticking out, but Sho didn't advance forward.  
  
"I'm going to leave it here," Sho said, softly. He placed the tray at the foot of Nino's door.  
  
He closed the door and walked back to the living room. He plopped himself down on the couch; the groove quickly molded to Sho's body from the hours of sitting all day. The memory started replaying back in Sho's head, and his heart started beating again. The heat quickly rose to his cheeks, and Sho slouched in his seat with his hands covering his face with embarrassment.  
  
There was no denying it. Sho was attracted to Nino, but Sho didn't know to what extent. Those sex dreams only made Sho feel more nervous than aroused. He feared his former habits would resurface if he sees Nino naked again. Since his incarceration, Sho has tried to burn out the memories of his crime, his shame, his guilt. He vowed to himself to never do something like that again.  
  
But when he saw Nino smiling and playing the piano to cheer him up, Sho suddenly wanted to kiss him, hold him, and touch him. Nino has become such a precious part of Sho's life, he wanted to keep Nino close in a tight embrace. The warm feeling swelled inside Sho until he couldn't suppress it any longer—he reached for a couch pillow and squeezed it close to his chest. The bubbles haven't died down, and Sho began to wonder what Nino really thinks of him.  
  
But then he remembered the kiss, and his face went back to a deep shade of red.  
  
Sho groaned again and buried his face into the pillow. "Why did I do that...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it seemed short, but NOW i can begin explaining some inspirations i got for this story  
> i started working on this fic since summer last year after taking a certain summer course. that course was a psychology class: Death, Dying, and Grieving  
> (yeah it was fun!)  
> my professor told us true stories (with anonymous names) of different death scenarios, the process of their grieving, levels of stresses etc. these lectures inspired me to start writing this fic because just hearing my professor talk, it showed me how raw our emotions can get during a time of death or someone dying. and i really wanted to capture that in my writing. so essentially, this sakumiya fic was born because of that death class XDD
> 
> all deaths that happened in this fic was based on a true story (except aiba, i kinda tweeked his story a bit. the doctor irl didn't kill his daughter in secret. they did it legally). but all the details in this fic are fictional (in rl: the sex offender didn't live with the autistic man, the autistic man's brother took care of him after the sister died, the single father's son didn't have autism but down syndrome, the struggling couple originally had two miscarriages). so yeah, i changed a lot of things.  
> so there you go!  
> i'll update the next chapter soon. see you then!


	12. Duet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (pertaining to AO3 only, but i had a mini heart attack when i thought i miscalculate the number of chapters posted. turns out i had one saved in drafts and that's what threw me off. long story short, case solved). here's a long chapter to make up the previous one. also, take note of the warnings once again. Enjoy!  
> Music reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8ZgUwDQIYw

They returned back to square one. Nino wouldn't make eye contact with Sho anymore, nor would he respond back to Sho's questions. He never carried on their conversation even if it was about music, and he never stayed in the same room with Sho longer than five minutes. He even stopped doing his daily chores or learning to cook meals. The violinist even resorted to playing in his room instead of the practice studio; the rejection utterly crushed Sho's ego.  
  
But Sho did noticed subtle hints.  
  
Nino couldn't ignore food for long. Sho became the sole cooker of the house again. But during meals, Sho spotted Nino blushing more than usual. He took that as a good sign, and Sho tried to be more cheerful. Maybe by forgetting about the kiss, they can go back to normal talking terms.  
  
"The charity concert is coming soon," Sho spoke up during lunch. "Have you decided what piece you're planning to perform?"  
  
But Nino kept his eyes lowered as if he wasn't paying attention to Sho. After living with Nino for nearly a year, Sho understood Nino's body gestures more. Even though the man wasn't looking at him, Sho detected the smallest twitches that meant Nino was listening. He probably had an answer in his head but won't speak it out loud. Judging from the slight pinch on his brow, Nino knew exactly what piece to play and that it was so obvious but Sho was too stupid enough to know. Sho could practically hear Nino's smug voice in his head.  
  
Sho waited patiently, but Nino didn't answer as the long minutes dragged on. They sat in silence, munching on their cold noodles on a hot August day.  
  
"I really like the Chopin concerto we're working on," Sho spoke up again. "You play it beautifully. I really love the music you make."  
  
He heard Nino swallow loudly.  
  
Sho rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer. "Will you show me how to play on the violin?"  
  
Suddenly, Nino got up from his seat and hurried away, but Sho didn't chase after him. He heard Nino's bedroom door close from down the hallway, and Sho let out another defeated sigh. Did he offended him? Was his attempt to flirt so poorly done that Nino had to run away? Suddenly losing his appetite as well, Sho took the dishes away before leaning on the kitchen countertop with his head sunk low.  
  
"I wish Sachi was here," Sho moaned to himself. But the grief settled back in, and Sho covered his eyes. "I wish I could talk to Mom..."  
  
Suddenly, the phone rang. Sho dragged his feet and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Ninomiya's residence," Sho answered dully.  
  
"...Sho?"  
  
His heart stopped.  
  
"M-mai?!" Sho pressed his back against the wall just to support his shaking knees. "Mai, wha...how did you find this number?"  
  
"It...it was in Mom's cellphone," his sister answered, her voice calm and timid. "D-dad asked me to call all her contacts to let them know..."  
  
Sho finally let out his breath that he held in for so long. "Oh...that's right. I used this phone to call her once. But...I got a call from the doctor and...he told me already..."  
  
"Mmm."  
  
There was an awkward silence. Sho hadn't heard from his family since his arrest. Only his mother ever bothered to visit him in prison or call him after his release. The rest of his family were ashamed of him, or Sho assumed they did. He never heard a word from his brother, his sister, or his father. Sho tried calling Shun once, but he was immediately disconnected.  
  
And now, more than three years later by accident, he finally hears Mai's voice again.  
  
Sho's jaw clutched slightly as he swallowed a hard lump. "It's good to hear from you."  
  
"...yeah. You too," she uttered quietly. He heard the smallest sounds of snuffling at the other end.  
  
"Mai, let me talk to Dad."  
  
"H-he's not at home."  
  
Her sniffs became louder, and Sho could feel his throat tightening. He started blinking rapidly and inhaled deeply through his mouth since his nose was burning. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there...for Mom. Please tell Dad for me."  
  
"Sho...why did Mom put this number as Ninomiya?" Mai asked, her voice sounding a little stronger. "Are you living with someone?"  
  
Somehow, her intonation made him feel nervous. "Y-yeah. I am...I'm living with the violinist Ninomiya Kazunari. I'm his new piano accompanist and we work together now."  
  
It suddenly became very quiet at Mai's end, not even a single snuffle.  
  
Worried that she might hung up on him, Sho quickened his speech. "Mai, I'm not a criminal anymore. I am not proud of what I did, and I've paid for it. I had no one else after that. Mom was the only one there for me. None of friends stayed. You, Shun, and Dad don't even want to talk to me, but I missed you guys so much! Please let me come see you again!"  
  
There was a definite click, and the dead ringtone echoed in his ear. Shock slammed into him hard, but it was soon replaced with anger. Sho slammed the receiver down and felt his hands shaking. His only wish was for someone to listen to him, to understand him, to want him. Now with his mother gone, no one in his family will ever talk to him again. He tried, even begged, to reach to his sister when he finally had the opportunity, but he was still rejected. Even Nino was ignoring him.  
  
No one wanted him. The world seemed a lot lonelier, and Sho wanted to do nothing but release his boiling rage. And it sounded like a good idea.

He strolled into the living room and threw the pillows off the couch as well as flipping the coffee table. A bowl of tangerines flew off the table and clattered loudly against the wall. He picked up a tangerine and hurled it across the room. It knocked over a small flower vase, and it shattered to pieces on the floor. The loud noise snapped Sho into attention, and he sank to his knees. He gazed down at his trembling hands, and he deeply regretted his short burst of anger.  
  
Sho heard someone gasp behind him, and he whirled around to find Nino gawking at the scene with horrified eyes. The broken vase must have called Nino to the living room. Sho saw the disapproving look in Nino's eyes, and Sho's heart sank even lower.  
  
"Nino," Sho quickly stood up, worried he lost Nino's trust completely. "Nino, please wait-"  
  
But the genius violinist hurried back to his room. This time Sho followed, but Nino slammed the door at Sho's face and locked it as well. Sho closed his eyes, feeling the guilt sinking deeper in his chest, and he gently pressed his forehead against Nino's door.  
  
"Nino...I'm sorry," Sho said. "I promise I'll clean that up. I didn't mean...I didn't want you to see...if I said something to offend you, I didn't mean to. Please...don't you shut me out too."  
  
But he didn't hear a response. Most likely Nino curled himself under the blankets again, but these doors weren't sound proof. Since their kiss, they've never talked about it. Sho's original idea was to smile it off and forget about it, but Nino was clearly still conscious around him. Then, Sho made a small attempt to flirt, but it only made Nino retreat again. Now, Nino might be scared of Sho's old temperament, and the last thing Sho wanted was for his old habits to resurface again.  
  
The only option left for Sho was to open up honestly. The last advice he received from his mother. He'll have to tackle one issue at a time. Starting with the first problem.  
  
"Nino, you don't have to open the door. But please hear me out." Sho took a deep quiet breath to calm his nerves. "That time when we were in the practice room, I really don't know what came over me. I was just...so grateful for what you were trying to do. You want to cheer me up, right? No one has ever done that for me in a long time. Somehow, seeing your effort made me very happy. So much that...I wanted to..."

Sho's face was blushing. He couldn't even say the word "kiss."  
  
"I just want you to know," Sho carried on, "that our time spent together has really changed me. I didn't even know how to cook until I started living with you. And I have learned so much within that practice room. It's just...so much has happened. I never thought in a million years Sachi would want me to play the piano for you, but she connected me to you."  
  
Still no sounds from Nino.  
  
"When Sachi died, I saw how vulnerable you were," Sho continued. "I was so overwhelmed, but you needed me. I couldn't just...leave you alone! You needed me, Nino. That's why I stayed. And I think the longer I stayed...I must have-"  
  
The doorbell rang.  
  
Sho lifted his head up, wondering if he imagined it, but then someone knocked on the door. Sho glanced back at Nino's bedroom door, hoping the genius savant would answer him, but the door remained closed. Nino was just like the rest of them. Shutting Sho out and ignoring him. The world was indeed lonely. Sho sighed heavily before turning around and heading for the front door.  
  
He wasn't expecting to see the man from the hospital at the door step...  
  
*****  
  
Ohno frowned at him. "Are you...Sakurai Sho?"  
  
The man blinked a few times, startled to see him, and nodded awkwardly. "Y-yes. Can I help you?"  
  
Ohno inhaled sharply and felt his brow furrowed even deeper. Sho opened the door wider and stepped outside. The man was handsome. He was taller than Ohno, and he had a lean body. His lips were luscious, his hair was flowing, and his eyes were bright and intelligent.  
  
So this was him. The man whom Minami cheated with. And he was living with the famous violinist Ninomiya?! The man must be rolling with money. Yet he had the gull to wear only loose jeans and a fitting white T-shirt as if to show off his pecks. No wonder Minami was attracted to him. Their small encounter at the hospital was short, but it was enough for both of them to recognize each other's faces. The more Ohno stared at him, the more he hated him. The nervous flicker seemed present in Sho's eyes, and that's when Ohno knew—this man knew who he was.  
  
Ohno reeled his arm back and landed his fist hard against Sho's jaw.  
  
Sho stumbled slightly from the impact. His eyes scrunched shut, and his mouth gaped open slightly slack-jawed. Ohno didn't hit hard enough, but he felt his knuckles aching from the contact. At least the man will suffer a bruise later. Sho regained his balance with his eyes cast down as if already accepted his mild punishment.  
  
Finally, Sho glanced up and stared hard at Ohno. He almost expect Sho to throw back a punch, but instead the man bowed his head to Ohno.  
  
Sho straightened up but kept his hard face. "Would that be all...Ohno Satoshi?"  
  
Ohno huffed. There was no need to ask how Sho knew his name. Minami must have told him, but that didn't meant it irritated Ohno. For a split second, Ohno wondered if the man ever laughed at him with Minami in secret. Most certainly they did, but Ohno closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down.  
  
When Ohno opened his eyes, his frown lessened. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come out and say it...I need you to come to the lab with me to get a DNA test."  
  
He saw the apple of Sho's throat bobbled up and back down. "What for?"  
  
"...Minami became pregnant back then. And I need to know if...one of us is the father," Ohno answered sternly.  
  
Sho slowly lost his hard look, and his expression became softer to a worried gaze. Ohno watched as the man bit his lower lip, his eyes darting back into the house, and rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"I-I don't...I mean, I don't think I can-"  
  
"You don't have to do anything," Ohno quickly added. "You don't have to take responsibility over Kenta. Minami already has custody over him. I just...I need to know for myself."  
  
Then, it became Ohno's turn to bow his head to Sho.  
  
"Please," Ohno muttered. "Please come to the lab with me."  
  
He only wanted to know if Kenta was his real son; the final aching thorn can finally be removed from Ohno's heart if he had this knowledge. But the times he spent with his ex-wife compare to her lover was slim to none, and so was the likelihood of Ohno being the biological father. But the circumstances differ depending on the real father. If Sho was the father, then Ohno will finally move on with his life.  
  
But if Sho wasn't, then Ohno will fight tooth and nail to get Kenta back...  
  
"Alright," Sho finally answered.  
  
Ohno lifted his head up. Sho slipped on his sandals and closed the door behind him. Ohno couldn't help himself but reach out and shook Sho's hands.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
*****  
  
He hasn't heard a word from Sho since he left his door. Nino laid in his bed and let his mind wonder back to music. It was his only escape and his only safe haven. He could easily hear the music playing inside his head, and his fingers tapped against his pillow in their correct set order. First finger, third finger, second, shift position, first, second, first, fourth, shift back down, third, half-step second back, first, open, third, fourth.  
  
After a while, Nino had to physically hear the music, so he got up from bed. Thankfully, he kept his violin in his room. If he stepped outside where Sho might be lurking around, he'll distort his concentration. Although Nino could ignore him, sometimes Sho's words gets a reaction out of him. And it messes with his music playing. He wanted to be left alone with just his violin.  
  
Nino closed his eyes and let his bow touch the string. His room didn't have the best acoustics as the practice room, but the melody was enough to calm his mind from Sho. The notes came across Nino's mind a second earlier, and he translated them to his fingers in perfect time. Everything was precise, accurate, and carefully articulated.  
  
Music made sense. Sho doesn't.  
  
Then, Nino saw an image of Sho's lips behind the music notes. Nino's fingers began to flutter, and his bow arm swung faster. His heart started to beat stronger, and Nino's brow knitted in frustration. A flash of Sho's neck and collarbone appeared in his mind, and the music notes became harder to see. Nino groaned as he tried to concentrate.  
  
But soon, images of Sho's smile and bright eyes filled his mind. The music notes disappeared, and Nino couldn't play a decent melody. It scattered everywhere. There was no music in his room. Just pointless and tuneless noise.  
  
Nino lowered his violin and set it down in his case. He rubbed his head, trying to block out Sho from his mind. But the memory of that kiss came back, and Nino let out a discomfort moan. The sketchy music was making him disoriented, and his mind slowly became one cloud of confusion. He really liked Sho, but deep down he didn't know what  _these_  feelings meant.  
  
Every time he's around Sho, Nino felt anxious. The music notes that normally appear in Nino's head seem to disappear. All he could see was Sho, and Nino wasn't sure if he hated it or not. When he was with Sachi, he never had this problem. Nino loved his sister, but she didn't distract him from his concentration. Things changed when Sho came into his life. Everything has become one big scramble, and Nino had a hard time sorting through it all. Without music, there was no order. With no order, he couldn't think properly. When he can't think properly, he panics and gets nervous breakdowns...  
  
Time was hard to calculate when the music wasn't in order. Thirty minutes could have passed or even maybe two hours, but eventually his stomach started to hurt. Asking for food would mean leaving the safety of his room, and Nino didn't want to leave. Maybe Sho will deliver food at his door like before, but the pianist never came. Finally, his stomach was really hurting, so Nino unlocked his door.  
  
The first thing he noticed was that the house was dark. Sho hasn't turned on the lights, but Nino turned on the light switch in the living room.  
  
It was empty.  
  
Nino didn't put much thought to the empty living space—nor the mess Sho made earlier—and headed for the kitchen. He found only three rice crackers left, and he ate them with water. He wanted to make something, but there was hardly any food in the refrigerator. Maybe Sho was in his room and will come out to cook later. But the quietness bothered Nino greatly. While ignoring the mess, he returned to the living room and began flickering through TV channels.  
  
Then, Nino found a familiar variety program, but he frowned at it. This variety show only comes on late after Nino ate dinner. But he hasn't eaten dinner yet. Confused with the timing, Nino got up and headed down the hall. Sho's bedroom door was open and dark inside. When Nino entered and switched the lights on, the room was empty.  
  
The house was really...too quiet...  
  
"S-sho?" Nino called out.  
  
He walked faster to the practice room, but there was no one. Nino hurried back to the kitchen, but it was still empty. Nino's heartbeat began to pound faster. His music notes began shaking in his head. It was nauseating, and Nino's breathing became harsh and forced. If he could just find Sho, everything will go back to order. It must!  
  
Nino searched every room of the house, but Sho was nowhere to be found. The music notes vibrated viciously in his mind. Nino began panting as he pulled the cushions from the couch, threw his music book collection down, and upturned every chair. Sho must be here. He can't be gone like Sachi. Sho must be here!  
  
Nino was all alone.  
  
"N-no...no...Sho? Sho! SHO!"  
  
He can't leave him! Sachi left him. Nino can't be alone. What will he do? What can he do?! He wasn't ready to be a full-fledged independent adult yet. He was hungry. He was scared. His head wouldn't stop spinning with distorted music, and his breathing became heavy and panicky.  
  
"SHOOO!" Nino cried.  
  
Maybe he was outside. Yes! He must be outside. And Nino bolted out the front door and down the street...  
  
*****  
  
They said it'll take at least two days before results will show. Ohno promised he'll call Sho when the DNA test results came in, and if he was the real father. Sho touched his jaw where Ohno punched and felt a dull pain. Ohno never apologize for it, but Sho expected nothing less. If he wanted to, Ohno could have continued using him as a punching bag and Sho wouldn't fight back.  
  
But in the time he spent with Ohno that afternoon, there was no threat fuming between them. They were both surprisingly calm around each other. Ohno was nothing what Sho presumed him to be. Minami had always talked about how her husband was always aloof and never around for her. Sho assumed that meant the man never cared for his wife or loved her. But almost everything Minami told Sho about Ohno was wrong. The man did had a heart and cared deeply for this boy named Kenta. Perhaps he was just like Sho. Three years ago, they were both different men...  
  
When Sho arrived back home, he saw the front door was wide open.  
  
Sho's heart sank at the sight and dashed inside. The house was a wreck. The practice room was completely trashed with the music CDs, books, and albums scattered across the floor. Sho ran down the hall and found the living room in even worse condition. It was as if someone torn through the place in search for something.  
  
"Nino?" Sho called out and headed for the man's room.  
  
But it was empty and upheaved.  
  
"Nino!"  
  
He checked the other rooms, but they were also empty in a chaotic mess. Did someone break and enter? There was no sign of broken glass or a window shattered. Did Nino opened the door to a stranger and got kidnapped? Sho's heartbeat pounded harder in his chest as the fear started sinking in deeper.  
  
Sho ran out the door and down the street. It was dark outside, but Sho kept his eyes peeled for any sign of Nino. He really wished Nino carried a cell phone with him, but that was not an option. If Sho couldn't find him, he'll have to call the police. But police officers made Sho nervous.  
  
Sho cupped his hands around his mouth. "NINO!"  
  
He hurried towards the nearby park.  There weren't that many people at this time of hour, so there was no one for Sho to ask if they saw someone. Then, Sho stopped running to catch his breath. He hunched over with his hands on his knees. At least there was more light here with the street lamps. Sho tried to scan the area, but only the Ferris wheel illuminated the most light.  
  
The Ferris wheel...  
  
"Nino..." Sho moaned, and he jogged towards the giant wheel.  
  
The Ferris wheel was no longer in operation in the late hour, but the lights were still on display. There were more people here, and Sho tried to ask a few bystanders. No one seemed to have seen a pale man with dark hair. Sho wiped the sweat from his brow and continued his search.  
  
Then, Sho heard the faint sound of a music box playing in the background. He turned around and saw  street performer turning the handle of a large music box that had a rather carnival-like tune. Others gathered around the entertainer to watch his partner's tap dancing, but Sho spotted one hunched-back man who focused solely on the music...

"Nino!" Sho called out.  
  
He saw the man's head perked up and turned around. Nino gasped when he saw who called him, and Sho could have sworn he saw a joyous glint in the man's eyes. But Nino's lip trembled and started dashing towards Sho. He colliding into him with his arms wrapped tightly around Sho's neck.  
  
Without even hesitating, Sho brought his arms around and hugged Nino back.  
  
But Nino's grip was stronger, and the man didn't seem to have any intention of letting go. Something could have seriously happened to Nino. That fear was a small pit in his stomach now, but Sho squeezed him tighter with his brows pitched together. He brought his hand to Nino's head to hold his closer and basked in the man's warmth. His violinist was safe...  
  
"I'm sorry, Nino," Sho uttered. "I should have told you where I was going."  
  
"You scared me," Nino said, his voice slightly muffled.  
  
"I didn't mean to," Sho sighed, stroking Nino's hair and gazing up at the Ferris wheel. "I went out on an errand. I thought...you didn't want to see me."  
  
They pulled away from their embrace, but Sho held Nino's face in his hands to make sure the man faced him and saw his seriousness.  
  
"I promise I won't do anything like that again," Sho nodded.  
  
Nino gave him a shy smile that Sho found absolutely adorable. He placed his arms around Nino's small shoulders, and they walked back home.  
  
*****  
  
Sho ordered food out since it was already too late to cook dinner. Plus, Sho was tired from all that running and panicking. Nino didn't seem to mind having sushi delivery despite the expensive price, and they ate their meal in the midst of a messy living room.  
  
"We gotta clean this up, Nino," Sho sighed with his hands on his hips.  
  
"I was searching for Sho," Nino said as if he was proud of himself.  
  
Sho chuckled. "Do I look like I could fit under the couch?"  
  
Nino waved his fingers close to his head. "Without the music, I can't think straight."  
  
"Oh really?" Sho raised his eyebrow, not really sure what Nino meant with that. "There was no music, and you decided to trash the house. And now?"  
  
"The music is in order."  
  
"So let's put things in order," Sho nodded.  
  
At least Nino didn't do massive damage. Things were easily placed back in their rightful place, and there was no need to bring out a broom or a vacuum (except for Sho's broken vase). Together, they cleaned the living room. It was the first time Sho saw Nino actually do some real cleaning, and Sho hid his small chuckle. Watching Nino's body in motion other than violin playing was interesting.  
  
They moved on to the practice room where it took a lot more work. Because Nino was peculiar of its order, Sho followed Nino's instructions on where things needed to be placed. The higher shelves could only be reached by a step ladder, and he allowed Nino to do the honors.  
  
"Tchaikovsky is above Bach. But Beethoven is higher because he's a higher B note," Nino explained. "Everyone else is in alphabet."  
  
"Right," Sho nodded. He had no clue what Nino meant, but he gathered all of the Beethoven music compilations.  
  
It was a wide stack, so Sho passed them to Nino a few at a time. Nino stood on his tiptoes to reach the highest shelf. He leaned far across to insert the first set of books. After Sho handed the next batch of music books, he went back to gather more.  
  
He heard a loud scrap of the wooden step ladder, and Sho whirled around. Nino was on the verge of tipping over.  
  
"Nino!"  
  
Sho quickly dashed forward just in time before Nino hit the floor. The step ladder collapsed onto its side, and the music scores scattered once again on the floor. Nino's face was incredible close to Sho, and they paused in their awkward stance with Nino slightly leaning forward and Sho's arms around his waist.  
  
The butterflies came back in Sho's gut as they stood up straight. Nino's eyes didn't turn away and stared deep into Sho's gaze. How strange. Only a year ago, Sho was annoyed that he had to work with an uptight autistic man. But now he would run after him. His whole world seemed to be about this one man in front of him, and it all started in this very room.  
  
Sho lowered his head and brought his lips against Nino. It was only a gentle press, and he inhaled Nino's scent before closing his lips around Nino's mouth again. He heard Nino let out an uncertain moan, and Sho opened his eyes. He withdrew his head away slightly. He still kept his hands on Nino's hips, but neither one of them back away any further. Their faces were only centimeters away from each other.  
  
Nino made no sudden moves, and Sho felt his heart slightly sink with disappointment. He turned his head away, but then he felt a pair of warm lips touch the corner of his mouth. Sho quickly gazed down at Nino. His face blushed deeply, and Nino slowly brought his hands up Sho's chest and snaked around his neck.  
  
Then, Nino glanced down at Sho's parted lips and took them for his own.  
  
This...this was it! Nino was finally giving him a response, and he wasn't shying away. Sho inhaled sharply and pulled Nino closer. He heard Nino whimper at Sho's quick movements, but the violinist didn't back away. In fact, his tongue entered Sho's mouth. Sho groaned deeply as he felt the urge to taste more. His kisses began to trail away from Nino's lips and along the man's jaw. Sho nuzzled with his nose and pressed his lips against the crook of Nino's neck.  
  
"S-sho..." Nino gasped.  
  
His mind geared into an instinctive and lustful mood, a setting Sho haven't touched in years. His hands pushed up Nino's shirt and savored the soft skin under his fingertips. His thumb was about to pass over a nipple, but he stopped. Sho paused from his neck kisses and quickly pulled his hand back. He gazed down at Nino, slightly panting and feeling his face growing hot. No doubt the man looked beautiful and alluring to Sho all flustered, but he wanted to do this right. He will not make the same mistake three years ago...  
  
"Nino," Sho gulped. "Are...are you sure you're okay with this? I...I mean, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. And I just...umm, I would never-"  
  
"Sho," Nino silenced him. He brought his hand to cup Sho's cheek. "I...I want feel Sho's music."  
  
He blinked. "What?"  
  
Nino blushed even harder. "Whenever you touch me, new music plays in my head. It's nothing like the day-to-day music that I'm used to. My order. But this..." Nino lowered his eyes to Sho's chest before gazing back up. "I want to feel it...hear it...please."  
  
If that was how Nino saw things, then Sho had no problem with it. He gently held Nino's hand and grinned back. "If I do have a certain music within me, I definitely want to share it with you...Nino."  
  
In truth, Sho didn't know what "music" Nino was talking about. But Sho did know their physical skinship would bring about a new connection between them. The violinist could finally see his raw emotions and how much he craved for this sensation. Sho pulled Nino for another kiss and brought Nino's hips closer. He felt Nino drawing in deeply and combing through his hair, and Sho let out a small moan. His fingers gradually unbuttoned Nino's shirt, and his hands glided over Nino's bare shoulders until the shirt fell gracefully on the floor.  
  
Sho pulled his T-shirt over his head, and their lips quickly rejoined rather feverishly after the split second of separation. Nino's chest rose and fell as he brought his hand up along Sho's bare abdomen. They broke their kiss to catch their breath, but they played and teased each other with subtle brushes of their lips. Their noses gently bumped against each other, and Sho would tug at Nino's bottom lip with his teeth. Nino's hand continued to slowly feel up Sho's chest and thumbed over Sho's nipples back and forth. The playfulness brought a smirk to Sho's lips, but he held Nino's hand and lowered it down. Their held each other's gaze—Nino was written with anticipation as well as nervousness.  
  
Sho unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned, and unzipped his jeans. He saw Nino swallow nervously, and Sho felt hesitant.  
  
"Nino, we don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable," he quickly uttered. "I don't want to...disrupt your music order."  
  
The savant violinist lowered his gaze. "No...I'm ready. Just...guide me."  
  
Sho smiled and tugged at Nino's arm. "Here...lie down next to me."  
  
They eased themselves down on the floor, despite the littered music books and CDs everywhere, and laid on their side. Sho waited until Nino brought his hands up to Sho's chest. Nino's fingers padded around Sho's skin, feeling, massaging, and tracing along muscle lines. Sho lazily draped his arm over Nino's narrow hip, and Nino's hand trailed farther down to Sho's briefs.  
  
He watched Nino gulped a few times and his mouth parted open with his eyes focusing only on Sho's crotch area. Finally, his hand rubbed against Sho's bulge over the underwear fabric. Sho let out a small hiss and pulled himself closer to Nino's hand. A warm sensation began building up inside Sho as Nino felt around the shape with his short hand. Sho quickly gazed up and saw Nino's parted lips and concentrated brow.  
  
Sho reached up and smoothed his thumb over Nino's cheek. "Relax...go ahead."  
  
But the violinist was still holding back, and Sho's craving grew stronger. It seemed like Nino had spent time with his favorite men's magazine but never knew the practice. Not wanting to wait any longer, Sho pushed down his briefs to expose himself—tucking the elastic band underneath the sack—and guided Nino's hand to touch him again. Nino's face blushed even deeper as Sho felt Nino's hand touch his bare skin.

  
"Pull it up..." Sho moaned, his hand over Nino's. "Yeah...yeah, like that...hold it tighter...tighter...yes, ah, yes just like that...aahh, Nino."  
  
Sho closed his eyes and savored Nino's hand pulling up the skin of his growing erection. Sho started breathing heavier, and the warm knot was building up even stronger inside his chest. He clasped his hand over Nino's hand, indicating him to squeeze more as Sho let out another gasp.  
  
"You're...you're so warm," Nino muttered.  
  
"Come closer," Sho mumbled with hooded eyes. "I want to feel your warmth."  
  
Sho brought his arms around Nino's waist to pull him in for another kiss, more hungrily and passionately. Nino crawled on top of him and shared back with the same intensity. He released his grip around Sho and returned back to trailing his hands over the pianist's chest. Sho slid his hands underneath Nino's sweatpants and groped at Nino's rear. The violinist let out a gasp but didn't part away. Sho continued to squeeze Nino's bottom before tucking his thumb under the waist band and pulling it down. Sho eyes trailed down to see Nino fully exposed body.  
  
Nino's face was a bright shade of pink. "I'm...I'm not-"  
  
Sho peeked his lips on Nino's nose and whispered. "You're beautiful."  
  
Nino grinned back and sat up on Sho's lap.  
  
With his eyes locked back on the man above him, Sho's hand slid down from Nino's hips and toward the man's groin. He cupped the rounded skin and watched Nino's mouth parted open in pleasure. Sho gave a tight squeeze at the violinist's erection, and Nino cringed into it. A throaty groan escaped Nino, and Sho pulled. He started slow to give Nino time to adjust. When he saw Nino's face relaxing, Sho pumped harder and faster. He never heard Nino make such noise, but it excited Sho. He wanted to expose the violinist more, feel more, and taste more.  
  
In the ambient light of the practice room, their world reduced to just the littered music sheets, CDs of great composers, their instruments, and their bodies. Their warmth gradually build into an intense heat that Sho had never experienced before. It was so much more vibrant, moving, and meaningful. Their fingers locked together. Their moans echoed each other. Their salt trickled down their throats and lips, a sample of their first tasting. Sho could just consume Nino for hours; it was such a joy to hear the wails escape from the violinist. Nino's knitted brows remained tight, and Sho couldn't keep his mouth closed. And Sho finally heard the music escape from Nino's lips as their bodies merge.  
  
"Sho...this...this music!" Nino cried out loud with his eyes shut tight. "Aaah!"  
  
The pianist grunted a response. "Nino...you feel so damn good...Nino!"  
  
This was their music. It wasn't just the sighs and moans from their mouths or their bodies slapping together. Sho's heartbeat pounded in his ears. The blood rushed through his veins and warming his body. His muscles ached and the tension grew inside him, just like their music practice whenever they were reaching the climax. Sho glanced up at Nino and saw a mirrored expression gazing back. And in that moment, Sho didn't want this feeling to stop; he wanted this building crescendo to keep rising. He wanted to stay lost in the world that only Nino understood best and to wallow in it, burying deep in it. Sho wanted to keep climbing, making every part of him take a step closer to the very pinnacle of their piece.  
  
"Sho...Aaah, Sho! SHO!"  
  
He dug his nails into the pianist's skin. "Nino...Nino!"  
  
Then, everything reached its peak, the final forte note, and Sho couldn't hold back. He let out a yell and released his load. Nino soon came afterwards, dripping down onto Sho's heated abdomen. Their bodies trembled in its intensity. Sho kept his eyes shut, lingering in the last few aching seconds. He could feel his neck vein pulsating. Then as quickly as it came, it vanished like a soft ending note of a musical piece. Nino lowered himself down onto Sho's chest, and he quickly went to sleep. Sho's eyes grew heavy. But with the last remaining energy left in him, he brushed aside a few bangs from Nino's forehead and wrapped his arms around the violinist's narrow shoulders. Their scent filled the room and clung onto their skin, but Sho didn't mind. Warm and content, Sho fell asleep with his precious violinist in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's rated R for softporn, aka, no penetration details :3  
> i didn't want to make this entire fic to be NC17 just because of one scene (it's my opinion, but i believe NC17 fics deserves more than one smut scene). even though it is implied they did had sex, i kept it rated R, so i hope this was satisfying enough  
> (or who knows, maybe i'll make full blown smut side chapter. no promises XD)


	13. Flat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this week's music reference is pretty upbeat and yet the title looks like a total mismatch. but i love this piece, and this chapter has its reasons to be called as such. so enjoy!  
> Music reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTr8KHDmMWw

It only happened once, and now sex was part of their daily routine. Or at least to Sho, it seemed like the savant violinist schedule to have it every day. When Sho wakes up and heads for the shower, Nino would follow in after him. After meals, Nino would start nagging at him while doing the dishes until the violinist practically pulled him down to the kitchen floor. Even during practice hours, they resume to the same position.  
  
And Sho didn't mind at all.  
  
The old guilty feelings from his past seemed to be nonexistent, and Nino practically recovered from his loss of Sachi—he made an alter for her and prayed every morning with a soft smile. Now, nothing seemed better than the feel of each other's touch, and tonight they were in Nino's room. They laid under the bed covers, stark naked, after finishing their first round while basking in their afterglow. Sho had his arm draped over Nino's slim shoulders with his lips gently tracing over the outline of Nino's face. Nino's rounded nose brushed ever so slightly against Sho's cheek.  
  
"Sho...?" Nino moaned.  
  
Sho kept his eyes closed and continued pressing his lips against Nino's smooth pale skin. "Hmm?"  
  
"I want to hear you play a piano piece."  
  
Sho chuckled. "You did a thousand times." Sho pulled Nino in closer and breathed in the man's hair deeply before passing on more kisses below Nino's ear. Sho heard Nino sigh an octave higher than his normal voice. Sho pulled Nino's leg up to his hip and slid his hand along Nino's thigh and rear.  
  
Nino brought his arms around Sho and held onto the pianist's sloped shoulders. "I want to hear it on stage..."  
  
"You will," Sho moaned into Nino's neck, "during your concert."  
  
"Alone."  
  
Sho paused.  
  
"I want to hear you play a solo piece," Nino said seriously. "I'll sit with the audience and listen to you on stage. I...I want to know."  
  
"Do you mean a recital?" Sho asked, slowly pulling away from their embrace so he could read Nino's expression. "Because I've already submitted your set list to the organizers. I think it's too late for me to add another piece."  
  
"Play for me then," Nino pressed on. "I want to hear it."  
  
Sho's eyebrows knitted slightly, but he smirked away the awkwardness. "There's no need for that. Nino, I can perform something at home. I don't need to be on the spotlight...now come here." Sho brought his lips back to Nino's neck. "I want to feel you again."  
  
But Nino drew away and frowned back. "But...I have to know!"  
  
"Know what?"  
  
Sho could see the pupils in Nino's eyes dart back and forth. The man was struggling to formulate his thoughts into words, and then Nino started groaning out of frustration. Nino retracted his arms away from Sho and stared up at the ceiling with a lethargic look.  
  
Sho felt the first pang of rejection. "Nino? Nino, what's wrong? Tell me."  
  
Instead, Nino rolled to his other side to hide his face from Sho. He brought his knees up and moaned. "I don't know how to say it. But I just need to know..."  
  
Sho sat up, and the blanket slid down his shoulder. "Okay! I'll play, so please don't ignore me. I'll play right now."  
  
"No!" Nino yelled. "I need to hear it on the stage! It's different!"  
  
"But the papers already gone through!" Sho tried to reason with him. "Maybe not now, but sometime in the future I'll perform for you, okay? Just for you."  
  
Nino sat up and glared at Sho. "It has to be now!"  
  
"Why?!" Sho shouted back.  
  
Nino set on fire. "Because I want to hear  _your_  music, Sho! I want to know! You have to play on stage and play the piano because I want to hear your music! Play the piano so that I can hear it. I want to hear it because I have to know-"  
  
"Nino!" Sho held the man's shoulders. "You're not making any sense! You're just repeating yourself."  
  
"Then you don't understand!"  
  
Finally fed up, Nino pushed Sho's arms away and marched out of his own bedroom. Sho heard from the down the hall the bathroom door slammed shut. A few minutes later, the sounds of running water from the shower head reverberated through the walls, and Sho plopped his head back down on the pillow.  
  
Nino has heard Sho play the piano plenty of times. He even  _taught_  Nino how to play the piano! Why now does he want to hear Sho perform on stage? He was certain he expressed himself enough to match with Nino's violin; Sho always tried to balance the same tension, rhythm, and emotions as Nino. But to perform by himself under the limelight seemed intimidating. It has been years since Sho last had a proper piano recital, but it wasn't Sho's main issue.  
  
After more than a year living together, Sho felt unsure about his future. No doubt he has grown attached to Nino and his music, but Sho had a feeling it would all end soon. Nino was becoming more and more independent. He finally grasped an understanding in managing his music career and personal life, and Sho found less and less things to do around the house. Nino was able to do them all (in a slow manner). Now that their connection has reached an even deeper level, Sho worried if he has grown too attached.   
  
He began to wonder if being with Nino was really the best option for him...  
  
Sho grumbled and rubbed his face. "What does he really want from me?"  
  
A few minutes later, he heard the phone ringing. Nino was still in his "I'm-ignoring-you" shower, so Sho slipped on his cotton pants and answered the phone.  
  
"Ninomiya's residence."  
  
"Sho?"  
  
His eyebrows perked up and a smile spread across his face. "Mai! You called me back."  
  
"I thought I tell you Mom's funeral day."  
  
"...oh."  
  
"I told Dad, but he didn't say anything," she said. "You can come, but please don't expect anything."  
  
Sho's smile slowly dwindled away. "I understand."  
  
*****  
  
They told him they'll have the results in two days, but it felt like two years. Ohno sat alone in his kitchen with beer and rice crackers, waiting for the blood test results to come in. Sho asked Ohno to not call him when the results come in, and Ohno respected his wishes. He felt bad for punching Sho as his first impression, but Ohno was surprised when the man didn't retaliate. Even on the way to the lab, Sho was polite around Ohno. He must have been a different man before.  
  
But so was Ohno. The past year has changed him as well.  
  
Suddenly, the phone rang and Ohno hastily stood up to answer. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello, Ohno Satoshi?" A female replied back. "This is Platina DNA Lab Center. We've completed your DNA test of your son, Kenta."  
  
Ohno's heart pounded so hard against his chest, he thought his whole body was vibrating. "I see. Thank you for calling."  
  
"Based on the results, your DNA matches with Kenta. If you like, I'll have the lab results be mailed to your home address for your records. Would you like to have-"  
  
But Ohno took his phone away from his ear and raised his fists up with victorious glee. He let out a silent shout of joy and uttered "Yes! Yes!" under his breath. His hands were shaking just out of sheer excitement. He was the father. He was the father! Kenta was his own!  
  
"Ohno-san?"  
  
"H-hi! Yes, umm, thank you for your hard work."  
  
When he finished the conversation, the first thing Ohno did was call a lawyer. He researched the past two days with a sliver of hope that he was the father. And now that he can confirm that he is, Ohno can put up a case.  
  
The next day, Ohno met with his new lawyer to cover the details. Thankfully, Ohno was also financial stable to take care of Kenta—Ohno never left the fishing auction warehouse, and it paid off. All that was left was to inform Minami about the case.  
  
Ohno called her while in the office. "She's not picking up...Hello, Minami? It's me, Ohno. I'm speaking with a lawyer about custody over Kenta. I found out that I am his father, and I want him to live with me. Call me back, bye."  
  
"Do you know where she lives?" His lawyer asked.  
  
"I do," he nodded.  
  
"We can make a house call."  
  
Together, on a hot summer day, they headed for Minami's home. But when Ohno rang the doorbell, no one answered. Frowning slightly, Ohno glanced up at the house. There was no car on the driveway, and Minami wasn't picking up Ohno's calls.  
  
"Perhaps they're out for the day," the lawyer sighed, fanning himself with a paper fan. "Want to get something to eat? I know a great soba restaurant."  
  
But no matter how many times Ohno rang the doorbell, no one answered and it left an unsettling feeling in Ohno's stomach. A nagging intuition wouldn't stop poking at him. Something wasn't right. He pushed the iron gate, and it moved at his touch. The pending worry started to build up inside as Ohno pushed open the gate and walked into the premise.  
  
"Ohno-san!" His lawyer called after. "What are you doing? We can't trespass."  
  
But he didn't listen. He walked up to the front door and knocked. No answer. He started pounding even louder and harder, hoping someone will get annoyed with him and eventually answer the door. He has been apart from Kenta for more than half a year, and he'll be damned if the reason he couldn't get to Kenta soon was because no one was home.  
  
Then, he heard a sound from inside.  
  
"Ohno-san, let's call it a day," the lawyer moaned under the beating sun. "We'll come back when they-"  
  
"Shh!" Ohno hissed. "Do you hear that?"  
  
They both held their breath and strained their ears. Outside in the blazing sun, the chirping cicadas faded into the background. But deep inside the thick walls of the modern house, Ohno heard a boy crying.  
  
"Kenta!"  
  
Ohno tried peeking through the windows, but he couldn't see anything through the heavily dense curtains. Kenta sounded like he was in the back, so Ohno dashed around the house. A locked door resisted Ohno's urgent hand, but he could hear the crying more clearly. This wasn't a normal cry from Kenta. He sounded scared, and the strength of his voice seemed to be fading. No one was answering Ohno, which translated to him that Kenta was all alone in the house. The worst possible scenarios started filling in Ohno's head.  
  
"Damn!" Ohno grunted.  
  
He looked around and found a garden rack. Ohno quickly grabbed it just as the lawyer joined him in the backyard.  
  
"Ohno! What are you-"  
  
Using all his strength, Ohno smashed the window with the butt end of the rack. Ohno reached inside and unlocked the latch. The window was small, but Ohno was slim enough to fit inside. His lawyer, on the other hand, was too big and had to wait until Ohno unlocked the back door.  
  
Inside, the house was sweltering hot and stifling. Not a single air conditioner or ventilation was on. Sweat already build up on Ohno's brow as he followed the sound of Kenta's cries. It didn't take long until he found Kenta lain on the living room floor and frighteningly still.  
  
"Kenta!"  
  
Ohno knelt next to his son and gently help him sit up. Kenta was burning to the touch. His little face was pink and sweaty. His clothes looked dirty, and the hot room intensify the smell of Kenta's dirty diaper.  
  
"Oh god," he heard his lawyer behind him. "They left him alone in here?"  
  
Ohno shouted over his shoulder. "Get some water! Call an ambulance!"  
  
Kenta stopped crying, but he was barely conscious. Ohno started blowing to cool Kenta's hot face and wiping away the sweat from his forehead. He lifted him up and carried him to open a window to let some air in.  
  
"They're on their way," the lawyer said. "It's a good thing you came to check, Ohno. That's some fatherly instinct!"  
  
But Ohno ignored him and never left his eyes from his son. His whole world. "It's okay, Kenta," Ohno whispered. "I'm here."  
  
"...Papa..."  
  
*****  
  
Aiba smiled angelically as the children ran pass him down the hall. A timid nurse followed them with a worried face. Running was not allowed in the hallways, but physical activity wouldn't bring any harm to these children. Summer was always the liveliest time in the hospital, especially in the children's ward where they can finally go outside and play. But they were especially excited for the upcoming concert. More and more donations were coming in thanks to the promotion alone. Aiba was glad Nino battled through his depression in time for the concert.  
  
When Aiba entered his office, he was surprised to see Nino waiting for him.  
  
"N-nino!" Aiba gawked at him. "What brings you here?"  
  
The autistic man looked bashful, but he sat up straight and eager to tell something. Aiba closed the door behind him and sat down in his chair.  
  
"Where's Sho?" Aiba asked.  
  
"Sho went to buy food," Nino mumbled.  
  
Aiba's grin grew wider. "You came by yourself! This is fantastic, Nino! You're finally showing some independency. Sachi would be so proud."  
  
Nino made a small smirk and snugged his short palms between his knees. "I came here because I want to say...you don't want to worry."  
  
"Worry?" Aiba blinked. "About what?"  
  
"You don't want to worry about me," Nino repeated. "And I found someone to play my music for. Sachi listens to my music, but not anymore. And because of that person, I'm able to move on with my life. I've always been dependent on Sachi. But now I can take care of myself. Maybe I was always able to do it, but I never ventured to try. But I have now."  
  
Aiba raised his eyebrow at Nino. "Let me guess...is this person Sho perhaps?"  
  
Nino's smile became brighter. "He doesn't know it, but he is the reason why I'll continue playing music. Before, I always play for Sachi. But his music skills changed me. That's why I wanted to tell you not to worry about me. I found someone."  
  
The man has finally bonded with someone. A sense of pride swelled inside Aiba, and he couldn't help but clap his hand down on Nino's shoulder. No words were needed as they both knew what this meant. Nino would no longer need Aiba's assistance in building relationships. Nino was content with Sho now, and he was finally independent with his autism.  
  
"You must tell me," Aiba leaned forward. "Have you confessed to Sho yet?"  
  
Nino tilted his head at Aiba.  
  
"Did you tell Sho you love him?" Aiba asked plainly.  
  
"W-we care for each other," Nino stuttered.  
  
But Aiba caught his hesitation. "Did Sho tell you he loved you?"  
  
Nino's earlier smile seemed to grow weaker, and the man shrunk back to his old hunchback habit.  "Sho will play his piano...and then I'll know."  
  
"Know what?"  
  
Nino turned his gaze away, his brow slightly furrowed. "Don't say that."  
  
"I'm sorry," Aiba quickly uttered. "But have you talked with Sho about your feelings?"  
  
The violinist kept his eyes on the floor and shook his head.  
  
"But you love each other?"  
  
Nino ruffled through his hair. "Please, Aiba. I'm don't know how to say things like that."  
  
"Okay. How about his response. What did Sho tell you? Did he say he loved you?"  
  
"...I don't know."  
  
Aiba let out a low sigh and leaned back into his chair. So that's the problem. Neither of these two musicians confessed to each other. Aiba could sense Nino was greatly disturbed by this dilemma. Possibly because the man has never encountered such emotions. Aiba wished he could document this very moment for his study, but that would be too insensitive on his part.  
  
Then, Aiba spoke slow and steady. "Nino, I want you to tell me as best as you can how Sho makes you feel."  
  
Nino lowered his hand but kept his eyes on the wall. "The music notes used to be perfect. They made sense to me, and everything was as it should." Nino sucked in his lips. "When Sachi died, they were scrambled and disorganized until they just...vanished. I hated it. I couldn't do anything because nothing made sense. But Sho...he fixed it. The music notes are in order now, but they're different."  
  
"How different?" Aiba asked.  
  
"They're more colorful," Nino answered. "The music notes are more beautiful. Playing the violin feels so much better with Sho. They are in order, and yet they're more alive. This is something I can see because of Sho."  
  
Aiba slowly nodded his head. "And you want to hear Sho play the piano on stage so you can know if he feels the same way, am I right?"  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
"I should have known," Aiba smiled brightly again. "Music  _is_  the only way you communicate best after all."  
  
"Aiba, please tell Sho to play the piano for me," Nino said, his eyebrows raised and pinched. "I don't care if I'm the only one in the audience, I have to know. I need to know. It's the only way for me to understand. Please."  
  
The doctor, Nino's best friend, nodded. "I'll see what I can do. But Nino, you also have to tell him how you feel. At some point, I think Sho wants to hear you say it in words. For his sake."  
  
Nino swallowed nervously but nodded. He stood up from his seat before slightly bowing his head. "Thank you."  
  
After Nino left, Aiba began pondering about Nino's words. Seeing Nino coming to his office alone was a big leap towards Nino's independency, but now Aiba couldn't help but feel a little lonely knowing Nino will no longer be his regular patient. Aiba reached into his drawers and pulled out the concert pamphlet. It was a picture of Nino holding his violin majestically with an unmanned piano behind him.  
  
The concert was for the children, but those who are close to Nino would want to know how he's doing. Inviting them with concert tickets should bring them to hear Sho's music for Nino. Sachi would definitely approve it. Aiba turned on his computer and sorted through his database for two addresses: Ohno's and Jun's.  
  
*****  
  
Nino waited patiently for Sho to return. It was their final night before the concert tomorrow, and Sho left to buy some food out as a pre-party celebration for two. Nino bickered to Sho that he didn't want to go out for dinner, so Sho agreed to order out and pick it up for them. During his wait, Nino sat at the kitchen table feeling bored until his eyes wandered to the mail Sho left behind.  
  
Most of them were bills and ads, but there was one letter for Nino with an return address from America.  
  
The music notes started to jiggle in Nino's mind with curiosity, and he opened the envelope. Nino slowly read the letter and tried to absorb the information. It took him a good five minutes to finally finish a single paged letter, but he understood what it meant.  
  
"A new tour," Nino mumbled to himself.  
  
A new tour meant another tiresome travelling, but it also meant playing his violin for a new audience. Even though Nino didn't like to travel, he loved showing his music skills. It's one thing for him to play his music in the comforts of his home, but it was another when an audience listens to him. People will hear what he has the say through his violin, and giving out tours was the best way to express himself. This tour was for the major cities in America, and Nino couldn't wait to tell Sho that he'll accept. He was happily humming a tune until a new thought occured to him.  
  
What if he performed a tour on his own?  
  
It would be Nino's ultimate test to see the limits and strengths of his independence. He has been to so many countries in Europe already. One trip to America should be a breeze. The music notes played joyful in Nino's head. It sounded like such a good idea!  
  
Finally, he heard the front door open. The music notes rhythmically played across his mind with joy, and Nino greeted Sho at the door. Sho carried the bag of food with one hand as he closed the door behind him.  
  
"Welcome back," Nino said with a playful smile.  
  
Sho was about to reply back, but Nino quickly step forth and stole a kiss. Sho's eyes widened, but then he smirked and brought his free arm around Nino to pull him closer. Sho pressed his lips so hard against Nino's mouth, his nose squished against Nino's face. Their lips parted with a loud suction noise, but Sho gave one last peck to Nino's lips again and smiled.  
  
"You don't normally greet me at the door. What's this all about?"  
  
"Sho, I'm going on a tour!" Nino immediately said gleefully.  
  
The pianist glanced up suddenly, his eyes wide and startled. "What?"  
  
Nino held out the letter. "I'm going to America."  
  
Sho reached out and quickly scanned through the letter. Nino was fascinated how fast Sho's eyes darted across the page. The music notes became a little red with jealously, but Nino quickly reformed the melody into a calmer setting.  
  
Sho made slow nods. "I suppose it fits your schedule. We can go together."  
  
"Actually, I want go to America by myself," Nino continued. "I want to be fully independent by going on this trip."  
  
Sho's brow pitched slightly, and he slowly walked down the hall. The music paused awkwardly, and Nino was unsure and confused about Sho's expression. Sho placed the food on the table but kept his eyes on the letter in his hand. Sho's silence made the music in Nino's head sound anxious and nervous. Nino started twitching the fingers on his left hand, his violin hand, hoping the music will drown out and fix itself to a normal harmony.  
  
"Sho?"  
  
The pianist lowered his hand, his eyes looking dejected and guilty. "Nino...I just...I can't-"  
  
The music grew rapidly and faster, almost agitated. "What's wrong?"  
  
Sho gripped onto the back of the chair and closed his eyes. Nino's music began sounding tense and worried. The order would occasionally skew from time to time, but Nino suppressed the awkward melody he was reading and wondering if kissing Sho would relieve any doubt.  
  
"You can go touring," Sho finally answered.  
  
Nino grinned happily and held Sho's arm. "Yes!"  
  
"But I'll no longer be your pianist," Sho finished. "I'll end my contract."  
  
The music went dead silent. Nino couldn't even move. His gaze never left Sho's sorry face. His face warped into a fixated discomfort, but his grip on Sho's arm was still tight. The only sound Nino could hear was the beating of his own heart against his ear drums.  
  
"The truth of the matter is...you don't need me anymore," Sho continued, looking crestfallen. "You've been through so much, and you're finally back on your own two feet again. You've improved a lot since Sachi died. But..." Sho shook his head and made an even more guilty face, "...you don't need a permanent pianist. You should be free, travelling, and sharing your music for all the world to hear. Anyone can be your accompaniment now. I'll only hold you back."  
  
Everything was blurry. Nothing made sense. Nino slowly release his grip on Sho and took a step back. His eyes searched everywhere, hoping to find some order. But his mind was slowly become a jumbled mess. Not as bad as when he first learned that Sachi died or when Sho disappeared, but it was still making Nino uncomfortable.  
  
"P-please," Nino uttered, "don't say that. Just...just wait for me. Stay here and-"  
  
"And then what?!" Sho said, suddenly raising his voice. "Be shut in the house and only come out to buy food?! Nino, I've been doing everything for you because I thought you needed me. And you did. Believe me, it was a great feeling. Someone finally wanted me. I was suddenly an important person in society again...but I've invested so much into this. In us! I've given you my all, and now I'm wondering if you'll ever say..."  
  
Nino glanced up and saw Sho's frustrated face. The music was back, but it was sober and quiet.  
  
"I'm truly happy you've become more independent," Sho continued, his voice lower and calmer. "I'm sure it's something Sachi dreamed of, and I'm glad too. I will support your American tour all the way. But if you plan to leave, then just tell me...please...the  _one_  thing I want to hear you say to me."  
  
Sho's final words made the music in Nino's head in total disarray again. He wondered if this was how Sachi felt when she was in great distress. So many sonatas and concertos floated through Nino's mind, reconfiguring and reconstructing on how he could resolve this situation. But he could only think of Aiba's advice, and he gazed back at Sho.  
  
"I-I'm...I..." Nino stuttered.  
  
Sho's lips parted slightly, a glimmer of hope lingering in his eyes. But the awkward melody continued to resound. Nino felt his palms becoming sweaty and his face blushing. Nothing came to his tongue, and he stood there unable to utter a word. Why is this so frustrating?! It makes so much more sense with his violin. Why can't he say it in words?! Sho gave him a pitied look, and Nino's heart sank.  
  
"Nino," Sho sighed. "Did you cared about me...or my music skills?"  
  
The violinist's mouth was stuck open; not a single sound could escape. Nino knew the answer, but he had a hard time sorting through his mental music order first to make sense of his words. He knew what he felt! They were right there on the tip of his tongue, but Nino's frustration build up inside him. Why can't the music in his head just go into order again?! If only there was a way he could properly tell Sho what was going through his head, but the stress kept piling up on top of each other.  
  
There was nothing he could do.  
  
Nino turned tail and ran back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these two are so stubborn! (well nino has a unique excuse)  
> so yeah, just because they had sex don't mean they're happily ever after yet!  
> 2 more chapters left!  
> see you in the next update!


	14. Tremelo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music reference (this is a very somber piece for a second to last chapter of the story, but i absolutely love it T_T):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV3SHBFyDZM

_~Three years ago~_  
  
Minami sat alone in the apartment with her wine glass and a bottle of Merlot, staring at the television screen with a great sense of boredom. The TV hosts and comedians laughed at their own jokes, but Minami sipped on her drink nonchalantly. It's been three months since her husband left on his other "self-finding art" trips. She called him last night asking when he was coming back, but all she got out of him was "I'll come home when I'm ready. Please wait for me."  
  
But her patience was wearing thin. She could not stand being confide in one place for so long with no one there to be with her. Being alone was not in her nature. Minami needed to be around people; she needed to be around Ohno. But he wasn't here, and she couldn't wait for so long. Drawing energy from others gave her a great sense of reassurance even if it was only from one person. Whenever Ohno was around, he gave her the love and attention she needed. But he wasn't here to give it to her...  
  
It started as a game. Sakurai Sho was the only cute guy in the office, and Minami liked playing around Sho for a while. The man slated her need, and he made her feel so good during their affair. But deep down, Minami wanted for her husband. Even though Sho was there to keep her company, the one person she was still hoping to come back was the man she married. When Ohno finally came back, Minami's insecurity quickly vanished.  
  
He came back tanner than he first left. Rolled up paper canvases stuffed inside his backpack, dried paint splotched all over his jeans, and numerous keychains and buttons clipped to his belt. He looked like he hasn't showered in days, but finally seeing him again in the flesh made Minami's heart flip with joy.  
  
But if Minami showed too much eagerness, she'll lose any sense of pride; Minami never liked showing weakness. She was still mad at him for leaving for so long. She crossed her arms and pouted angrily at him.  
  
"Welcome back, Mr. Sunburnt," she grumbled.  
  
Ohno shed off his backpack and left it at the front door. "I'm back..."  
  
He walked towards her and sighed before resting his arms around her shoulders. He smelled like grass and sweat. His white T-shirt was dirty, and his rough jeans roughly brushed against her shaved legs.  
  
"You smell awful," Minami groaned, trying to pull away.  
  
But Ohno pulled her closer. "I'm sorry..."  
  
The strength of his arms almost made her melt. It was this sense of security she craved for. Not in the financial sense, but on a personal level. When she was with Sho, it was only a flirtatious fling. It could never be permanent. With Ohno, she got the attention she needed to feel happy.  
  
After a shower, the two spent the night together on Ohno's beloved couch. Since then, it seemed like Ohno was staying with her at home for good, and she was happy. They even went out to a nice restaurant and spent the night at a luxury hotel like lovey-dovey newlyweds. He gave her the attention she finally wanted. It was the only thing she ever asked of him: to love her. But Minami never had the best of luck...  
  
"Someone call the cops!" Her manager shouted while wrestling Sho to the ground.  
  
Minami sobbed as her female colleagues helped her stand up. Another female offered her jacket to cover Minami's ripped shirt. It was a hectic work day with the police at their office and questioning Minami on the specifics. Traveling home was the worst. Her paranoid gradually climbed to the point where everything seemed to increase her vulnerability. She could sense someone was watching her, waiting to strike. When she returned home, the first thing Ohno saw was her bruised eye.  
  
"What happened?!" He gawked at her while holding her face tenderly. "Did someone attacked you? Who did it?"  
  
But she couldn't utter a single word. How can she explain to him the person who attacked was the same person she cheated with? Every time Ohno came back from his art trips, he shared with her all his findings: the people he met, the places he's seen, and the art he created. Ohno was always honest with her. Not once did Minami suspected him cheating. She wanted to believe he was a kind and understanding husband. She wanted to believe that he'll still love her.  
  
So she told him the truth.  
  
"I've...I've been seeing someone," she confessed through her sobs. "Since last month...when you were gone...I've been seeing someone from the office."  
  
Ohno lowered his hands away from her face. His expression slowly dwindled away from a concering gaze to a confused stare, and Minami started to panic.  
  
"You've been gone for so long. I'm not like you! I can't stand to be alone for too long!" Minami cried louder. "I needed to be around someone, but you weren't always there. But now that you're staying at home, I broke off ties with him. And so he attacked me today."  
  
"You...you slept with him?" Ohno uttered, his brows knitted tight and his eyes drooped as sad as a puppy.  
  
"Not anymore," Minami answered. "I don't want to be involved with him anymore, and I-"  
  
"But you were seeing him," Ohno repeated. He took a step back and lowered his gaze. "I thought...I thought you'd wait for me."  
  
Minami's anger quickly rose. "Don't you see the problem here?! I was sexually assaulted, and you're more concerned about that?!"  
  
Ohno raised his voice as well. "W-well maybe that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't cheated on me!"  
  
"You're blaming me for this?!"  
  
"I never asked a lot from you! I only wanted you to wait for me while I try to find my muse, but I come back to find out you've been disloyal to me?! The reason I wanted to marry you was because I thought I could trust you!"  
  
"And I agreed to marry you because I wanted you to always be there for me!" Minami shouted, the angry tears started slipping down her face. "Today...I was terrified! Okay? When I was riding the train, I thought someone was going to attack me again. You wanna know why?! Because I'm so used to you being away all the time. For a moment, I thought I was going to be home alone tonight. That's just how much you've left an impact on me and this marriage. I practically thought you weren't going to be home today!"  
  
Ohno opened his mouth to say more, but then he clamped his lips shut tight.  
  
Minami lowered her voice before she continued. "I need you to love me more...please...or I'll leave."  
  
When Ohno turned his back, her heart broke. She had once loved him, but clearly he couldn't give her the support she needed. She remembered storming out of Ohno's apartment and riding a taxi back to her parent's house. Ohno never called her, so she sent him divorce papers. All in the midst of the court case, Minami felt light-headed until she discovered she was pregnant.  
  
The last thing she wanted to know was the father of her child. If it was Sho's, Minami will constantly be reminded of her affair and her attack. If it was Ohno's, the child will remind Minami of the man who didn't love her enough. So she never filed a father for child support, and she carried out living by herself with Kenta in her one-room apartment. But taking care of Kenta was so much work. He cried all night, and he hardly drank her breast milk. Eventually, Minami found a job and met a new man. The only problem was that she never told him about her child.  
  
Minami needed support. She needed the feeling to be loved again, but she did not want to lose her precious son. Her plan was to secure a marriage with her new boyfriend. But she feared her boyfriend wouldn't support a son who wasn't his own. Convincing him to have his support for her son will take some time. So she gathered all of Kenta's things and left him to the only person she could think of: her ex-husband. A part of her believed Ohno was the real father, but Kenta looked more like her than his father. Within the six months without her son, Minami recuperated her energy back and became less stressed.  
  
So when the day came when her new husband said he'll take care of her son as well, she was ecstatic. Someone finally wanted to love her and support her son financial. It broke her heart when she had to leave Kenta behind, but he was back in her life again. And now she can give the best care for his autism than ever before. Finally, things were looking up for her, but Minami never had the best of luck...  
  
"When should I go back to work?" Minami asked her husband one night at the dinner table.  
  
He glanced up at her with a smirk. "Work? There's no need for that. Your duty is to stay home and take care of Kenta."  
  
Minami heard a pin drop echo in her head that almost made her heart stop. "T-that's ridiculous. I should be able to work too."  
  
"No, you don't," he said but more firmly. "You're my wife now. And as a wife, you need to take care of Kenta and make sure he gets properly educated before he starts school. Then, you'll have to make sure he is doing well with his studies while keeping the house clean and cooking meals. Everyone knows that."  
  
Minami slammed her chopsticks down in an angry fuss. "I'm not going to be some housewife!"  
  
"And leave Kenta alone?" He raised his eyebrow at her. "He is your son, so he is your responsibility."  
  
"I thought you would support me no matter what!" Minami said, her eyes bulging and completely shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. "Whatever happened to you wanting to care for Kenta as if he was your own? What about wanting to be there for me?"  
  
Her husband continued to eat in his cool and collective manner. "I said I'll help you support Kenta financially. I never said I'll take care of him. Honestly, I don't see why you want to keep him. You seemed so much happier when he wasn't with you. He's quite a hassle too."  
  
Minami was about to retort back, but the words got stuck in her throat. She was indeed happier when living on her own without her son. She had the freedom to do whatever she wanted. She wasn't held down at home, waiting for her husband's return for months, and she didn't wake up at night to a screaming baby. Minami was too free-spirited to be tied down by the housewife lifestyle.  
  
But that didn't meant she didn't love Kenta. Even though she vowed never to know whom Kenta's true father was, Kenta was her only proof that at one time there was man who loved her more than anything. And Minami didn't want to lose that last piece of evidence. She only wanted what's best for her son, but she doesn't want to give up on him.  
  
"Will you look after Kenta tomorrow?" Minami asked. "Spend some time with him while I go out for a bit."  
  
Her husband lowered his rice bowl and stared back at her. "And where will you be going?"  
  
"To find a daycare for Kenta."  
  
The next day, Minami visited every nearby daycare centers that were willing to take in an autistic child. But sadly, many of the houses didn't have enough funds to take in another child. They all told her the same story: lack of child support from their government. Many of them were in danger of shutting down. The best ones were further out of town, but Minami decided to go another day. Tomorrow, she'll look up local nanny agencies.  
  
Only that day never came.  
  
When she returned home, she found police cars at the front of her house. The flashing blue lights brought back ominous memories. Completely flabbergasted at the scene, she started imagining what could have happened. Did someone break in? Did someone hurt Kenta? She approached her house, and an officer stopped her from entering.  
  
"Can I help you, Ma'am?"  
  
"What happened? What happened to my home?"  
  
The officer mumbled into his shoulder monitor before turning back to her. "Are you perhaps Kenta's mother Minami?"  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
Suddenly, more cops surrounded her. Someone reached for her arms and pulled her hands behind her to secure handcuffs on her wrists.  
  
"W-what are you doing?!" She gasped.  
  
"You are under arrest for child negligence," the officer replied and escorted her to a car. "Your son was found in the living room with heatstroke. He's been sent to the hospital."  
  
The officer's words almost sounded foreign and left her utterly shocked and confused. "T-that can't be! What about my husband?! He was supposed to stay with Kenta today! Where is he?!"  
  
"We do not have any knowledge of his whereabouts," the officer answered. "However, Kenta's father has filed child custody over your son. You'll be seeing his lawyer back at the station soon."  
  
The police officer slammed the car door, and she sat alone in the back seat. Minami only wanted to be loved. She wanted someone to support her and be there for her. Now, her husband ran on her, her son is being taken away from her, and she was going to prison for a mistake she never intended to happen.  
  
Minami never had the best of luck....  
  
*****  
  
When he told his mother the good news, her voice screeched at his ear. "AAAAHHH! Congratulations! I can't believe this! I'm officially a grandma!"  
  
Ohno held the phone away from his ear, but he smirked nonetheless as his mother continued to shout with joy at the other end. He sat next to Kenta in the hospital, and his son sat up looking healthy and munching on peanut butter-covered rice crackers that Ohno prepped.  
  
"He's really your son this time, right? Right! Ah, I'm so happy for you, Satoshi!"  
  
"I'm glad too. I never imagined myself being a father," Ohno felt a smile spread across his face as the memories of his struggles replayed in his mind. "Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me. And maybe a little even know. There's so much I don't know yet."  
  
"But you never gave up on Kenta," she reassured him. "You remembered what I told you? Kenta is relying on you, so don't ever abandoned him."  
  
Ohno nodded. "I'm all he has left, right?"  
  
"What are you talking about?! Am I not his grandmother now?" And she laughed.  
  
Just then, Ohno heard a knock on the door. He turned around to see Aiba greeting them. "I have to go, Mom. I'll call you later...yes, I promise to bring Kenta over. Okay, okaaaay...bye."  
  
When Ohno ended his call, he stood up with another huge grin on his face. "Thank you again, Aiba."  
  
Aiba beamed back with his eyebrow slightly raise. "I didn't do anything. I had a day off when your son came in. I only heard the news."  
  
"But you did encouraged me," Ohno said. He glanced down at his silicone bracelet and rubbed it between his fingers. "If you hadn't told me to fight back, I would still be drinking at a bar. But I finally got the courage to meet my ex-wife's lover, and now I finally have proof. It's amazing how much people can change...how I've changed. Aiba, I'm glad I meet you."  
  
"Papa," Kenta cooed with his eyes large, round, and innocent.  
  
Ohno quickly went to Kenta and scooped up the boy into his arms. Kenta started playing with his hand game again, but now Ohno found it the most adorable thing ever.  
  
"But I'm even more glad to have met Kenta," he said before giving a quick kiss on Kenta's soft cheek.  
  
"I'm glad to hear that," Aiba said, approaching the small family. "I have a present for you."  
  
Ohno looked down and saw Aiba handing a ticket. When Ohno took the ticket into his hands, he read the title for Nino's concert: Music for the Children.  
  
"Patients attending this hospital gets free admissions," Aiba explained. "And I wanted to congratulate you on your family reunion."  
  
Ohno bowed his head. "Thank you, Aiba. I think Kenta will enjoy it. He really likes Nino's music." He handed the ticket to Kenta who started turning it over in his tiny hands.  
  
Aiba's face became slightly stiff even with his heartfelt smile. "I was going to mail it to you, but then I thought of handing it to you in person...especially you because...Sakurai Sho will be Nino's piano accompaniment."  
  
Ohno also went still. "So he really is living with Nino?" He lowered his gaze with a slight frown. "What are his real intentions in being with Nino? How could anyone trust that man?"  
  
"I know...there has been some...dispute between you two," Aiba continued, rubbing the back of his neck. "But please come to this concert...with the intention of seeing how much Sho has changed."  
  
Ohno's frown deepened, and he lowered Kenta back onto the bed. "You...you want me to forgive him?!"  
  
"No! No, of course not," Aiba shook his head and hands frantically. "What Sho did was unforgivable, and he has been punished for it. But it's like what you just told me. People change. And I want you to watch Sho and see how different he is now."  
  
The conflicting thoughts started raging inside Ohno's head again. One side says that Sho should be thrown back to jail and rot for all the trouble he started. If it wasn't for the affair, he would have still been with Minami, and Kenta would live with both of his parents. But the other side told Ohno that Sho has turned over a new leaf. Even when they went to the lab together, the air between them was non-hostile. The man wanted to prove himself worthy again.  
  
In the past, Ohno viewed himself as a worthless being too. When he got his divorce and started living on his own, he drank for nights and regretted his decision for letting Minami leave him. And then the sense of hopeless came back again when his son was taken away from him. Now, he was full of energy again with new sense of purpose in his life. If Ohno became a different man, surely he could see a difference in Sho as well.  
  
Ohno sighed. "Alright. I'll go to the concert and see Sho's performance myself."  
  
*****  
  
Kiko waited patiently with the mass of fans waiting for their lottery number to call. She held onto her receipt tightly and prayed silently. Most of the fans were women twice her age, but they started to push and shove their way closer to the stage. But she didn't let their aggression sway her stance. Kiko learned from experience during the times of concert tickets: there is no nobility amongst fans.  
  
The fanclub president stood at the front with a large box. "And the finally lottery winning number is...number sixteen!"  
  
Kiko heard a fifty-year-old woman shriek with happiness before bounding her way to get her concert ticket. Kiko's heart sunk knowing she just lost her chance to get a free ticket to Nino's concert. The lottery tickets always got the best seats, but this year wasn't her year again.  
  
She walked out of the conference room and sulked her way back home. When she open the door to her apartment, she heard her daughter squeal in a loud playful scream—most likely laughing at her father's silly faces again.  
  
"I'm home," Kiko sighed before pouting. "I didn't get the tickets."  
  
Jun lifted Sachiko up and mimic Kiko's pouty face. "Aw, hear that, Sachiko? Mama is gonna spend money on Nino tickets again."  
  
Jun then did a fake impersonation of Sachiko's voice. "Why can't Mama ask Ninomiya-san for tickets?"  
  
He went back to his regular voice. "Because Mama dreams of having Nino to notice her which will never happen like high school juniors daydreaming of their seniors."  
  
Kiko stomped her way across the room and snatched Sachiko away from him to playfully mimic her voice back. "Maybe Mama should marry Nino because he's a lot kinder and more talented in music than her ridiculous, pasta-loving, mascot-obsessed husband!"  
  
She used her normal voice. "I like the way you think, sweetie."  
  
Jun tried to make an angry face, but he had a hard time suppressing his smile. "Well that's too bad because Nino is with Sho now, and we're going to Nino's concert to see them for ourselves."  
  
Kiko immediately dropped her playful act and stared wide-eyed at Jun. "Really?"  
  
"Really," he grinned and pulled out two tickets from his back pocket.  
  
With Sachiko in her other arm, Kiko quickly snatched the tickets with her other hand and gawked at them. These were premium seats! The best spot in the theater to hear Nino's music. Even the fanclub couldn't pass these around.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Kiko gasped. "Where...how..."  
  
"Aiba gave them to us," Jun answered, nodding to an open letter on the table that Kiko missed seeing on her way in. "But he also asked that we stay to hear Sho's piano performance at the end of the concert."  
  
Kiko's eyebrows twitched slightly at the request. "Why would he ask us?"  
  
"I'm not entirely sure," Jun tilted his head. "But I don't see what's wrong with it. You said you were always worried about Nino not living with Sachi anymore. I think this will be Sho's way to prove he can look after Nino...and I want to see it too."  
  
Kiko set Sachiko down to play with her toys. "Do you think Sho is a good person?"  
  
Jun made an unsure face. "We only met him once. And a friend told me some things about him, but I want to see how far he's come."  
  
Kiko slowly nodded before gazing down at her daughter. Aside from the seizures appearing, Sachiko did fairly well. The medication and therapy showed improvements, but Kiko tried not to focus on it so much. Now, she knows her favorite baby foods, the TV shows she likes to watch, and her favorite Nino pieces. In fact, if it wasn't for Nino's music, Kiko would have never been with Jun.  
  
Feeling an overwhelming emotion of love, Kiko wrapped her arms around Jun's neck and brought in his face closer to hers. Their noses bumped into each other, and their lashes brushed against each other. Jun placed his hands on her hips, and they stood there gazing down at each other's noses.  
  
"Alright," Kiko said. "We'll listen to Sho's piano too. I think Nino would appreciate it if we stayed longer, but I'll also do it for you. You seem more curious about his performance than I do."  
  
Jun grinned. "I'm really glad I got those Nino tickets."  
  
And he quickly stole her lips.  
  
*****  
  
Sho sat awkwardly in his black suit with his family and guests on the morning of the charity concert. They all listened in silence to the priest's chanting while a portrait frame of his mother displayed at the front. He saw his father keeping a straight face but with sullen eyes. Sho's siblings kept sobbing even though they were adults. He never kept in touch with them. Every time he did, they ignored him. His father viewed him as a disgrace, his brother stopped talking him, and his sister was afraid to be around him. They were ashamed of him and his crime.  
  
Only his mother supported him. And now she's gone. At least his family was gracious enough to allow him to attend her funeral. Still, they never once greeted him when he arrived or made any eye contact. If anything, Sho was the ghost.  
  
After the sermon, family friends and other guests presented their final gifts and parting words. Sho couldn't even bring himself to stand behind his family, so he treated himself as an outsider and waited as the guests gave their condolences. Finally, he was the last one. They stared at him as if he was a foreigner who rudely interrupted a private funeral. Mai and Shun looked away as he approached them. Only his father maintained eye contact; chin up and nostrils slightly flared.  
  
Sho reached inside his breast pocket, pulled out three reserved tickets to Nino's charity concert, and placed it on the table in front of them  
  
"Please come," Sho uttered. It was hard to speak with his throat so tight, so he bowed his head to hide his face. "It would mean a lot to me."  
  
Sho started to wish he sent the tickets by mail, but it was the only way to get their attention despite the awkwardness. His mother was always critically harsh on him, but she forgave him. It bothered Sho why the rest of his family couldn't. He stared down at the three shiny tickets, but no one made a move to take them. He bowed his head one last time and walked out as quickly as he could. The sooner he was away from the awkward and suffocating atmosphere, the better.  
  
He's not wanted here. He's not wanted anywhere....  
  
*****  
  
That evening, Sho waited backstage with Nino who was slowly cleaning his violin strings. The stage-fright butterflies fluttered like crazy inside Sho's stomach. He glanced at the tall mirror stand again to re-adjust his tie and tugged his jacket to remove any wrinkles. He kept rubbing his hands together to get rid of its sweaty feeling, but nothing else was calming him down. And Nino sat there quietly, his head bowed down and focusing solely on his dark wooden violin.  
  
He has been to many recitals in his younger days, but this was the first time Sho ever performed at the esteemed Bunkamura Orchard Hall. When he first walked in the concert hall a few hours earlier, the immense vastness of the theater took his breath away. And apparently, Nino has attended to this venue more than a dozen times already.  
  
Sho had never performed for more than a hundred viewers. But now he going to perform to more than two thousand spectators. A complete full house. He wished he could get a glimpse of the audience, but he was alone with Nino in their private dressing room, waiting for the cue. Sho wanted to know if his family came, but he'll have to find out when he walks on stage...  
  
A staff member wearing a "Music for the Children" T-shirt entered their dressing room. "We're ready. Please follow me."  
  
Nino walked out first, and Sho followed after. They were silent throughout the entire walk until they positioned just outside the entrance to the stage. A page-turner greeted Sho as well.  
  
"Ninomiya-san, please wait here," the staff instructed. "Sakurai-san, please head out on stage."  
  
Sho gulped nervously. It was custom for the pianist to wait on stage before the main violinist entered. Sho took in a deep shaky breath before letting it out low and slow. He stepped out and walked briskly across the stage with the page-turner following behind him. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, and their silence grew louder. He approached the piano and sat down on the bench. The grand piano was so much larger than the studio piano he normally practiced on, but the music score placed on the piano rack was the same one. The familiarity gave Sho some peace.  
  
The staff signaled to the hospital representative to come on stage. The audience applauded his entrance, and Sho took the time to glance at the audience. But the blinding spotlight made it impossible to pick out faces. They all looked like one big blot of darkness. Sho took another deep breath and listened to the administrator's opening speech.  
  
"Hello everyone and thank you for coming," the administrator spoke. "It gives me great pleasure to announce our first charity concert for the pediatric ward of our hospital. As many of you may know, our country's birth rate is declining and so is our medical care for children. It has been a struggle for us, and for many years, to give the services these children need. Children suffering from disease and illness. It has been, indeed, a constant challenge.  
  
"But thanks to your donations and the generosity of hundreds across the city, we can finally take a step forward," the administrator smiled. The audience gave a short round of applause before he continued. "My colleague, Dr. Aiba Masaki, told me he was good friends with a famous musician. And I can't help but think...it must be fate that he's come to us. A brilliant man with the gift of music has come to perform for the children. When you hear his performance, please think on the purpose of this charity, your donation, and future of our country. And so without further ado, let's welcome a round of applause to the renowned violinist...Ninomiya Kazunari!"  
  
The super star came out on stage, the audience gave a warm welcome. Sho could a few fans whistling and calling out Nino's name. But the man seemed completely oblivious to their cheers, and he stood at the center of the stage. Sho kept his eyes trained on Nino with his hands at the ready. Nino lifted his violin, and the entire theater went still for a brief moment. The violinist turned and stared at Sho.  
  
They both took a breath at the same time, and Sho began playing the concert's first note...  
  
*****  
  
Sho drank from his water bottle in large gulps. He exhausted a loud sigh and grabbed his nearby handkerchief to wipe his brow. The first half of the concert went by faster than Sho could even remember, but it was successful. They didn't have any hiccups, and neither of them fell behind each other. Sho made sure to stay under Nino's melody when necessary, and they remained at the same tempo even when Nino changed up the speed.  
  
But something was missing.  
  
He lowered his handkerchief and sat down limply on his white wooden chair. Sho glanced up at the mirror and saw his reflection looking just as confused back at him. They were pitch perfect on stage; neither one of them missed a beat. But something was wrong. The nagging feeling was so immense, he was sure the audience could sense it too. Sho glanced over his shoulder, but he was alone in the dressing room. Nino had left to use the restroom.  
  
Then, there was a knock on the door. Sho went to open the door and found Aiba with his usual smile.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
Sho's lips twitched at Aiba's casual greet. "Hi."  
  
"You two are sounding great," Aiba said, entering the room. "I think my wife is becoming a fan of Nino too."  
  
"Heh, leave it to Nino to steal all the wives out there," Sho snorted amusingly before sitting back down in his chair. "Did we really sounded okay?"  
  
"As far as I can tell," Aiba answered honestly. "Why? Did something seemed off when you were performing?"  
  
Sho clamped his hands over his knees a little tighter. "It didn't feel like anything...special. Our times in our practice room had more meaning than what we just performed. We may have sounded nice, but I felt like we sounded dry and hollow. There was no...there was no..."  
  
"Heart?"  
  
Sho glanced up and saw the doctor gazing back with his silver spectacles. He forgot that Aiba was also Nino's closest friend; the man was probably the second person on the planet that knew Nino best after Sachi. Sho sat up more in his chair.  
  
"Aiba, was I good enough for Nino?" Sho asked earnestly. "Nino only needed me for my piano skills and taking care of him when he was at his lowest. But do you think...I mean, uh, that is...did he ever-"  
  
"Why don't you ask him?" Aiba asked him back.  
  
"He doesn't know how to respond back," Sho sighed with a hint of annoyance. "I don't know if I'm going about this the right way."  
  
"Then perform on stage for him," Aiba answered simply. "After the concert, ask your question through your piano. Nino knows music best. It's how he communicates. So why not perform a solo-"  
  
Sho abruptly stood up; the white wooden chair nearly tipped over. "Nino talked to you about this, didn't he?"  
  
Aiba looked taken back from Sho's sudden movements. "Eh?"  
  
"He asked you to tell me to play on stage, didn't he?!" Sho suddenly raised his voice, his eyebrows knitted together and his hands slightly trembling. "I don't want to keep expressing myself just by playing music. I want to hear the words for myself! Why can't he just tell me in person?!"  
  
Suddenly, the door swung open and Nino quickly stood a little in front of Aiba. "You have to play it."  
  
Just then, the same staff attendant appeared at the doorway. "Ninomiya-san. Sakurai-san. We're ready for-"  
  
But Sho pushed past the staff member and stormed down the hallway.  
  
The anger swirled inside him as he power-walked down the hall and few flight of stairs. There was no destination set in his mind because of his unsourced fury, but suddenly he was almost out the front door. The lobby was completely deserted save for the large banners hanging from the ceiling. Sho glanced up and saw the same promotional photo of Nino playing his violin. Sho couldn't tell if he admired that face or was sick of it. But the answer came to Sho almost too quickly...  
  
He heard someone panting and running behind him. It honestly surprised him to see that Nino had chased after him.  
  
"S-sho," Nino heaved before finally catching his breath. "The concert is about to start. We have to go back-"  
  
"Go back by yourself!" Sho retorted. "We weren't even really playing together. We were only focused on our own parts, so what does it matter. We're done."  
  
"What...what has gotten into you?!" Nino suddenly yelled back. Sho glanced back and saw a flustered Nino with an annoyed glare in his eyes. "I'm asking you to play the piano for me just this once. Is that so hard to do?!"  
  
Sho shook his head. "You don't get it, do you? The music is not what I care about. I don't need a piano to express how l feel. And whatever it is you need to  _know_...you damn well don't need to hear my piano to understand!" Sho inhaled deeply, feeling his face blushing. "I have always loved you, okay!"  
  
Nino's eyes widen and his mouth slightly parted open in shock.  
  
Sho continued. "I'm not the most perfect person out there. My past will always be a constant reminder of what I'm capable of doing, and it  _terrifies_  me every time I'm close to you! But when you told me you want to travel to America alone," he shook his head, "what am I supposed to do?! I've got no one else in this world who wants me anymore! But if you tell me you need me again, to let me be with you, then I swear I will love you endlessly."  
  
Something was already tearing up inside him as he watched Nino's expression turned from shock to pity. Suddenly, Sho's eyes started burning as well as his nose. He had seen Nino's expression before. It was just like the faces he seen during his court trial, from his family, and anyone he tried to get close to. Pitied. Embarrassed. Unwanted. Unloved.  
  
He didn't want this. He didn't want to see that face again! Not from Nino!  
  
Sho ran up to him and grabbed a fist full of Nino's suit. "Say something already! Don't give me that look! I can't stand it! How long are you just going to keep me hanging here?!" The angry tears started sliding down his face. "You are so lucky, Nino. You have all these fans, Sachi, Kiko, Aiba...I have no one...so why...why can't I be like you? Why won't you tell me...that you still need me by your side? That's all I want to hear!"  
  
Nino's eyes remained dried and expressionless as if Sho's heartful confession hadn't reached him. A typical response from an autistic man. Sho saw flashes of red. An old instant surged through him, but it took all his strength not to throw a punch. Instead, Sho shoved Nino hard and the poor violinist hurled to the ground. Sho was a mess between heaving and sniffing. He viciously wiped his eyes, now brimming red from tears, as Nino slowly sat up.  
  
His eyes still stared pitifully at Sho. "No...you're the one who doesn't get it."  
  
Sho's voice cracked. "E-eh?"  
  
"You keep talking as if I'm desperately in need you," Nino said. "But you got it all wrong. I didn't come here to tell you that I need you by my side. I know now I can live on my own just fine-"  
  
Sho grunted like an angry dog in response, and he turned his back on Nino. He could walk out the theater right now, but he could hear Nino standing back up. His feet rooted to the floor. Sho hated how he remained still as if hoping for more...  
  
"I can live on my own now," Nino continued, his voice somber and quiet. "And so can you...but not right now you can't. Even after all this time, you still need help.  _You_  need  _me_. If you want to leave...you can leave, and I won't chase after you. But I won't have anyone else play the piano on that stage. So please play it for me. It's the only way I'll know."  
  
Sho croaked. "Know what...?"  
  
But he heard the carpeted footsteps as Nino walked away. His anger slowly diminished to make room for remorse, and his tears kept pouring out. He glanced back up at the giant promotional banner and sank to his knees. Nino's photo portrayed his entire personality perfectly—forever playing elegantly as if it was the only thing that mattered in this world.  
  
"Why..." Sho sobbed up at the banner, "why did you had to say it like that?  _I_  needed  _you_? How did you even come to that conclusion? I don't get it. That wasn't what I wanted to hear..."  
  
Then, Sho remembered his encounter with Matsumoto.  
  
_"She really understood me even at times when I didn't. That's the kind of person you're supposed to be with."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so here is where i shall reveal my cheesy inspiration to write sakumiya...i drew some inspiration from the song "Endlessly" by The Cab. yeah! i know! where the heck did that come from! i'm the type of person that gets inspired to write by death psych class and corny love songs from 3 years ago! but when i heard i just thought of them, so can you blame me!!? XD
> 
> also, i want to bring up the topic of Minami. what do you think? i hope you don't think she's a scumbag mother anymore. she is a person too, who went through a lot. she did not asked for any of this. she's the extrovert type and needs the love from someone who can support her for whom she is.
> 
> the next update is the final chapter! OHMYGERD!  
> OTL


	15. Sonata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are! the finale! ;A; here is the final music link for you, optional, to listen. it's a very light and cheerful piece, and i thought it would be a fitting ending piece for this final chapter. so picture nino and sho performing this piece :3  
> Enjoy!  
> Music reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q64VUslNgSI

Kenta was getting antsy in Ohno's lap. The intermission was over thirty minutes ago, and the audience buzzed louder and louder, wondering where the great Ninomiya went. Even the pianist was missing. In particular, Ohno wondered if something happened to Sho. The two musicians were clearly gifted in music, but they weren't playing right—Ohno could tell from one artist to another. Something was off between them on stage...  
  
"I hope nothing bad has happened," Jun's wife mumbled, sitting two seats down from Ohno, before clasping her hands together in prayer. "Please let Nino be okay."  
  
Jun continued patting his baby daughter's back who also started fidgeting as well. "Maybe he ate something bad and is taking his time in the toilet."  
  
Ohno heard Kiko slapped Jun's arm. "Nino is not the type to have poor indigestion!"  
  
"You don't know that," Jun teased back.  
  
Kiko puffed her cheeks and looked away from him.  
  
Ohno smirked and murmured low. "I'm kinda glad I'm a single parent."  
  
Jun pouted at Ohno before turning his attention back to the empty stage. "You don't think...Sho left the concert hall, do you?"  
  
Ohno could tell from Jun's tone that he was wondering the same thing. Ohno glanced down at his stubbed ticket that Aiba gave him and furrowed his brow. Kenta started entertaining himself with his finger game, and Ohno stared back at the stage as well.  
  
"I don't know, but I promise I'd come today to see how much Sho has changed," Ohno answered. "This concert is about second chances. I believe in it because I've lived through it." Ohno gently stroke through his son's hair. "So I'll believe in him...I want to know if he did turn out to be a good man."  
  
Another five minutes passed when Kiko was the first to notice Ninomiya walking back on stage. Ohno found it strange how they didn't announce Nino's return to the stage. The violinist walked across the wooden stage in a rather brisk pace as if something pestered him. Kiko clapped the hardest. Soon, the audience saw Nino was back, but there was still a missing pianist. Not even the page-turner was present. The audience remained dead silent as Nino stood there with his violin at his side. A certain awkwardness hung in the air. Everyone waited until Nino raised his instrument to his chin.  
  
"Is he going to play by himself?" Jun whispered. "I thought violins always need a piano accompaniment when performing a solo."  
  
But Nino played anyway. Kenta stopped his finger game and focused back to his favorite musician on stage. Nino's music resonated beautifully throughout the concert hall. His bow arm swung long and wide as his fingers danced across the fingerboard. Ohno wished he had his program pamphlet with him, but Kenta had ripped it to shreds during intermission for fun. Still, Nino played viciously as if he was mad about the world. A rather odd style when the melody he played had a distinct lightness. As a visual artist, Ohno tried to picture a spring setting with birds chirping and the leaves sprouting. But Nino's aggressive energy painted the image in a thick splash of red; the birds yelled at the wind while the leaves burst out in angry puffs. Ohno shook his head thinking this was completely off.  
  
Then, Nino's finger fumbled and played an off note.  
  
Ohno's brow came closer as he listened closely. Maybe he just imagined it. Maybe it was part of the piece to play a weird note. Ohno was no expert in playing instruments, but he knew something was strange with the way Nino was playing.  
  
Before the intermission, Nino's playing was calm and poised—although he was a little robust. The man never batted an eyelid nor did he broke a sweat as he played through he pieces perfectly. Now, Nino's brow was tightly knitted. His disheveled hair covered his face, sweeping back and forth across his forehead with each deep swing of his bow, and his melody no longer sounded right. The birds flew upside down, and the leaves fast-forward through time with changing colors.  
  
"Oh god, what's happening to him?" Kiko gasped.  
  
The audience also started muttering to themselves. Nino's playing grew worse. His bow moved across the strings frantically, but the music rapidly fell apart at his fingertips. They blurred and meshed together in an awful mess. Soon, Ohno couldn't grasp an image from the distorted sounds even if he tried. The gifted musician sounded more like an unintelligent maniac. Kenta covered his ears when it got too much, and the audience's buzzing grew louder.  
  
"Damn it!" Nino suddenly shouted out loud.  
  
The audience gasped in unison as they watched Nino drop to his knees and elbows. His violin laid on the stage as if it was nothing special. Nino panted heavily. He bowed his head low to hide his face, and he clenched his fist tightly to suppress them from shaking. But Ohno could see the slightest trembling...  
  
"Nino has never made a mistake on stage before," Kiko panicked. "He never does!"  
  
Ohno couldn't believe it either. He never met the man personally, but Ohno felt a small part in him to go up on stage and hurry the man out of sight. There was something in the way Nino's body shook that reminded Ohno of Kenta when he was afraid of the vacuums. The similarity was almost striking, and Ohno unconsciously drew Kenta closer to his chest. This was a man in need of help. Someone has to step up and save him. Remove his fear factor.  
  
Then, in the midst of the audience mumbling, a young girl in the front row started cheering.  
  
"You can do it, Nino!"  
  
All the adults grew quiet as they listened to the girl calling out to him. Soon, the children from the pediatric ward joined in, cheering for their sponsor.  
  
"You can make it!"  
  
"Stand up!"  
  
"Don't give up!"  
  
"Nino! Nino! Nino!"  
  
Kenta raised his fist and started calling out as well. "Nino! Nino!"  
  
The violinist raised his head slight and gazed back at the young children up front. Ohno watched intensely as the autistic savant slowly picked up his violin and stood back on his two feet. Ohno and the audience applauded to the man, but Nino looked exhausted on his feet. He lifted his violin as if it was the heaviest object on the planet. Nino grunted and his arms dropped to his side.  
  
"You can do it!" The children screamed.  
  
"Keep fighting!"  
  
"We believe in you!"  
  
Ohno saw Nino mouthing something. A response. But Ohno was too far away to hear, nor was he able to read lips. Nino looked like he was about to give up. None of the adults in the audience joined in the children's cheer. Perhaps just like Ohno, they were just as shock such a display of humanity was taking place. Even Nino looked slightly dumbfound. Here was a man dedicating his concert for the pediatric ward patients in need. But the children end up supporting Nino.  
  
Then, despite the shouting of the children, Ohno heard a pair of pounding feet running down the alley and climbing up onstage.  
  
Ohno gasped. "It's Sho!"  
  
Only a look exchanged between the two musicians, but Ohno could see something clicked between them. While still holding his violin, in a more stronger grip, Nino wrapped his arms around Sho in front of everyone. The audience went still for one second and then back to muttering. The two musicians pulled apart from their embrace and gave each other a determined nod. Sho took his place at the piano bench, and Nino was able to lift his violin back under his chin again.  
  
Finally, the second half of the concert began.  
  
It was completely different from the first half. Not only were they able to play perfectly together, but they were  _with_  each other. Ohno could sense their raw emotions through their playing, and something tugged deep down inside him. Rather than being Nino's accompaniment, Sho acted as Nino's counterpart. He wasn't an add-on but another soloist onstage. Whenever Nino played a melody, Sho echoed back. When Nino performed playful tunes, Sho added to them.  
  
Their music painted a better picture than before. The birds were back, but they soared high above the trees. The sounds the violin whistled in the wind and through the bright green leaves. The piano added footsteps as new critters entered the scene, giving their world more life and vibrance. The music of spring rang throughout the entire hall and encasing the audience in the same environment.  
  
And in spring, the dark cloud drifted into the scene. But it wasn't a vicious storm, rather it was as if the rain had washed away the fierce fire that set them off in the first performance. Ohno could almost feel the audience sighing with relief as Nino and Sho played the harmonious piece together. It rolled in waves that brought a sense of comfort and security. Their trust in each other rang clearly across the stage and into the audience's ears.  
  
Finally, they reached their final phrase with a jubilant tune. The grand finale to the concert. Kenta rocked his head back and forth whenever the main melody played. It didn't even looked like Sho was reading his music score. They were both playing by heart. Ohno saw Nino smiling on stage, and Sho was grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Ah, so this is what Aiba meant," Ohno whispered to himself.  
  
Sho has become a changed man. He found someone just like Ohno found Kenta. This concert was a story of their journey together: the frustration they've been through when they first met, the calming aftermath when their differences were settled, the sudden fear of being apart, and the vibrant ending that leads into a new future. A new spring. The music fitted their story as well as the children. Even Ohno could relate. What once was a harsh and dull life, a new opportunity awaits.  
  
Nino played out the final note in long bittersweet vibrato. When the final note stopped ringing, the audience exploded to their feet and cheered the loudest Ohno has ever heard. Ohno also stood up, with Kenta in his arms, and cheered along with the fans. He glanced to his side and saw Jun's wife crying while Jun waved his daughter's arm at Nino.  
  
The two musicians came to the center stage and exchanged each other glances with a smile. With their hands held, they raised their arms up and bowed to the audience before leaving the stage.  
  
The concert was over.  
  
*****  
  
Aiba made his round trips with the different hospital executives, doctors, and administrators. They were all smiling and shaking hands on what a successful concert they've organized. Thanks to the donations, they can finally make some improvements to their pediatrics department, something that Aiba fully supported. This concert will bring new beginnings...  
  
"Aiba!"  
  
He turned around and saw Chiaki. Her mother pushed her wheelchair closer, and Aiba kneeled down to match Chiaki's eye level. "I'm glad you came. Did you enjoy the concert?"  
  
"It was the best," Chiaki grinned. "I'm so happy I got to see Ninomiya live."  
  
Aiba smiled until the wrinkles appeared on his cheeks. "I'm glad. Your dream finally came true."  
  
Chiaki did her best to nod at him despite her slightly stiff neck. "Did you hear me call out to Nino? I was the first one to cheer to him!"  
  
His eyes widen before his grin grew wider. "Really?! That was you?"  
  
"Yup!" Chiaki giggled. "But it's not over yet."  
  
"No?"  
  
"Seeing Ninomiya play on stage makes me want to fight again," Chiaki said. "I'll keep on doing what I can even if I can't move my legs. Even if my arms stop working or when I stop speaking. I'm going to keep on living and help others who need me."  
  
Chiaki's mother pursed her lips with her eyes brimming with tears. Aiba held Chiaki's thin hands and gave them a firm shake. It seemed like only yesterday when Aiba first diagnosed her with ALS. And now he finally saw her smile, shining ever so brightly. Even through all the bitterness and anguish denial, she has matured so much and Aiba was both relieved and proud.  
  
He rubbed her head as he normally does. "And I'll be there to help you."  
  
As he stood up, Chiaki's mother bowed her head to him and gently pushed Chiaki away. Aiba let out a satisfying sigh and glanced down at his watch. Even though the concert was over, he returned to the concert hall and sat down next to his wife. The seats were nearly empty except for two families sitting closer up front: Jun's and Ohno's.  
  
"Will Sakurai really play a solo for Nino?" Yuka asked him. Her large round eyes observed him for answers.  
  
Aiba leaned back into his chair when he spot Nino sitting in the very center seat of the first row. "You saw him running back onto the stage. He's definitely going to play."  
  
"What do you think happened back then during the intermission?" Yuka asked. "Do you think they got into an argument? I've never seen musicians make mistakes like that before."  
  
His mind replayed the awkward scene he witness between Sho and Nino in the dressing room. Aiba never knew what happened when Nino went after Sho. Aiba hummed in his throat before responding back. "I'm not sure. To tell you the truth, I'm still confused why Nino insisted on hearing Sho's solo on stage."  
  
"It's because Nino communicates through music."  
  
"That he does. But he can still understand what we're saying to him verbally," Aiba quickly replied back. "Even if he doesn't give a response right away, he listens to us. Nino can hold conversations, but not to the extend where he can fully express himself. He uses his violin for that." Aiba tilted his head in thought. "Perhaps Nino believes true emotions are limited when saying through words...and that it is the same for Sho. Now I'm wondering if Nino is setting this private recital for Sho rather than himself."  
  
Yuka's eyelashes batted with astonishment at Aiba's thesis. "You mean to say that Nino staged this to  _help_  Sakurai?"  
  
Just then, the man himself walked across the stage alone and sat down before the piano. The small audience clapped even though it was a miniscule compare to the ambient applause during the main concert. Sho glanced at each one of his listeners, his eyes especially lingered a second longer on Nino's, and he placed his hands on the keys.  
  
"You know what they say," Aiba uttered to Yuka. "Music doesn't lie."  
  
At the first chord, Aiba almost jolted from his seat. The sound and the volume completely resonated deeply in his chest, like dark and impending doom luring in. This was how Sho's story started: full of anger, regret, shame, and slightly vengeful. Aiba glanced down the seats at the other spectators, wondering what their thoughts were.  
  
He spotted Ohno farther down the seats on the right with Kenta sitting on his lap. They both focused on Sho, and Aiba wondered how much Ohno knew about music. Not that Aiba knew any more, but he hoped Ohno could sense Sho's feelings through the piano.  
  
To his bottom left, Aiba spotted the young couple listening intently. Kiko seemed to be the most scrutinous with her piercing eyes. Jun, on the other hand, had a softer expression as if he was concern for a friend. Aiba wondered how much Jun knew about Sho that he didn't.  
  
Finally, Nino sat in the center, leaning slightly forward, with his elbows on his knees. Aiba couldn't see Nino's face, but the violinist sat perfectly still as if he was completely absorbed into Sho's music. Funny how everyone currently in the theater became connected thanks to this one genius savant...  
  
"This is a lovely piece," Yuka whispered next to him. "The poor man must have been through a lot."  
  
"That he has..."  
  
Sho's brow furrowed deeply as his fingers rained down the keys. The melody swelled louder and louder until Sho paused in his music. In the vast nearly-empty theater, the air felt ten times chilling when the noise stopped. Then, Sho trilled a softer note. Before, there was energy and vibrant movements. Now it was calmer, and Sho's piano became sweeter. This must be when Sho met Nino.  
  
"It's like a demon meeting an angel," Aiba mumbled.  
  
"Or a demon turning into an angel," Yuka commented next to him. "It's like a love story."  
  
"I suppose it is."  
  
Even with his eyes facing forward, Aiba could practically hear his wife's smile. "In a way, he's kinda like you."  
  
At this, Aiba snapped his head to face her. "What do you mean?"  
  
Yuka kept watching Sho's performance. "I mean, even a man who committed sin can be forgiven. When you see someone change right before your eyes, how can you justify them for what they were in the past? And especially when he did so much good to everyone around him. Koharu-chan, for example, would not be mad at you."  
  
Sho's piano became more sorrowful, but Aiba's heart was not in rhythm with Sho's melody. Aiba's eyes grew wide with shock as he continued to stare at Yuka's profile. His heart thumped at irregular beats, possibly because a part of him was listening to Sho's piano while the other was beating with fright like a murderer found at the crime scene.  
  
"H-h-how..."  
  
"You were not yourself during Koharu's last few days," Yuka explained, her voice soft and angelic. "I didn't want to believe it. I never asked. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense that it was you."  
  
Sho began playing his second climax, and Aiba turned his head to face the pianist. But his ears were more on his wife's gently voice.  
  
"I was so upset," Yuka sighed sweetly. "There were even times I wanted to avenge Koharu, but I couldn't. I realized if I was there, I would have done the same thing." Yuka reached out and took Aiba's hand. "You're the type of person who doesn't want to see others suffer. Look at all these people you brought tonight. Their lives are different because of you, dear. Ohno would not have his family. Kiko and Jun would not have given their support for this charity. And Nino wouldn't have someone to love. I know they're thankful of you....I'm sure Koharu-chan would have been proud, and so am I."  
  
At the word "thankful", the tears started pouring, and his mouth became an ugly pout. Aiba covered his eyes with his free hand and let out a quiet shaky sob. He grasped onto her hand tighter, and she squeezed back.  
  
Sho was near the ending of his piece. Aiba could tell because he realized it was also his song. It was the same for Ohno, and Jun, and Nino too. They were all similar to Sho in some sense. They were all different people in their past, someone they were not proud of. And yet Sho played his piece with vibrant hope and love as if he had finally forgiven himself and ready to move on. He was ready to face the challenges ahead of him even with the burden of his past sins.  
  
This was the piece Sho played. It was their song.  
  
At last, Sho's piano rang quiet. The first one to clap his hands was Nino. Soon, Aiba followed and the rest gave their applause to Sho's spectacular performance. The man was panting heavily as if he ran for miles. Aiba couldn't blame him; Sho played his entire life summary up to this point in less than five minutes. They all gathered at the front where they congratulated Sho's solo.  
  
"That was wonderful," Yuka commented first with a bright smile and kind eyes. "You should have performed during the main concert."  
  
"If you can play that well, then I don't mind you staying by Nino's side as his accompanist," Kiko said smartly.  
  
Aiba patted his hand down on Sho's shoulder. "Even I was able to understand your feelings through your music."  
  
"You should definitely think of launching a solo career," Jun added.  
  
Nino didn't say anything, but his smile was genuine.  
  
Sho kept looking more and more bashful, his lips sucked in and bowing his head curtly whenever a new comment came towards him. The last person to speak was Ohno. Even with little Kenta clinging to his father's leg, Ohno's eyes still looked hard at Sho. Sensing the awkward tension, everyone waited for the man to speak.  
  
Then, Aiba spotted Ohno's tightened brow softened.  
  
"I'm glad...I got to hear your music piece," Ohno finally said. "Kenta really liked it too."  
  
Sho made a loud snuffling noise and bowed his head low. "Thank you so much!"  
  
The atmosphere grew warm again, and Jun's daughter let out a happy wail. Just her sheer voice made everyone smiling and laughing. It was a moment Aiba wanted to put it in a picture frame. Everyone was full of smiles, the ideal setting that Aiba loved to see. It was something Aiba always strived to see everywhere he goes...  
  
*****  
  
The ride back home was quiet. The magic from their concert still felt alive in their stomach, but it slowly started to feel like a dream. When Aiba, Jun, and Ohno left with their family, the atmosphere became awkward again. Sho's nervousness quickly resurfaced just by being alone with Nino. Neither one of them uttered a sound as they drove through the city streets.  
  
Sho stole a quick side-glance and saw Nino gazing out the window, his chin resting on the back of his short hand.  
  
_"I've got to say something,"_  Sho thought, his hands gripping tight on the stirring wheel. _"But what should I do?"_  
  
When they came to a red light, Sho stared listlessly off to the side of the street. He must have stared at the stupid neon sign for a full minute before a lightbulb flicked in his head. The moment the green light flashed on, Sho drove up the street and made a U-turn.  
  
At last, Nino spoke. "What are you doing? Home is back that way."  
  
But Sho made it back to the neon sign he saw earlier and parked at the side curb. After he turned off the car, Sho got out and quickly went around to open the car door for Nino as if he was his personal assistant. When the violinist stepped out, he also noticed the neon sign and he gazed up in awe.

 

 

_"Guitar Shop"_

 

"Shall we go in?" Sho grinned and took the lead.  
  
A small bell rang when they entered the shop. They were the only customers, and one elderly store manager greeted them with a humble nod before turning back to his laptop. Sho glanced down at Nino and saw the man's jaw hung open. An assortment of guitars displayed across the pale yellow walls, and stacks of guitar tab books and CDs stationed at the center. Behind the register, different types of pegs, string sets, and tuners perched on the shelves. A large range of amplifiers hugged the base of the wall, and small keychains dangled from a display rack.  
  
But Nino's eyes glued to the string instruments on the wall. One in particular.  
  
Sho glanced back at the manager. "Excuse me, may we see that acoustic guitar?"  
  
The store manager looked up, his thick mustache twitched as if he swished his mouth back and forth. Sho imagined what the manager was thinking: what the heck are two tuxedo men doing in my store? But the manager hummed a reply and helped pull the guitar down from its rack.  
  
The moment the instrument touched Nino's hand, Sho already saw the newfound love growing in Nino's eyes. He plucked a single string, and the note vibrated a deep and soothing sound. Without even hesitating, Sho turned back to the store manager. "I would like to buy the set."  
  
This time, the aged manager's eyebrow slowly raised up without even lifting his eyelids. But the man twitched his mustache again and walked to the back of the store to retrieve the necessary items.  
  
Nino peered up from the guitar with large confused eyes. "Why...why are you...doing this?"  
  
"I...uh, I'll explain when we get home," Sho said, sensing the manager was close by and picking out beginner guitar tabs from his collection like an expert.  
  
After Sho made the purchase, they carried Nino's new instrument and equipment into the car trunk. Now the ride home felt less awkward, but Sho's heart started pounding again as he pulled up to Nino's house. When they entered the house, the first place Nino went to was the practice room to set down his violin case and his new guitar—he didn't even turn on the lights save for the one outside in the hallway. Without waiting, he opened the guitar case and lifted the instrument into his hands. He swung the strap over his shoulder, but he paused just as his hands were about to strum the first chord.  
  
Sho lingered by the doorway and watched Nino hesitate. When Nino glanced back, his eyes were shining. Sho nodded to him. "Go ahead."  
  
The violinist stared back down at his new instrument. It was larger than a violin, and it had an extra string. But if Nino could learn how to play the piano, he could learn how to play the guitar. He ran his thumb over the strings, and a melodic tune hummed in the spacious practice room. The strings were so much deeper than a violin. Soft, calming, and romantic. Nino made a little giddy shake, eager to begin practicing. But his body was tired, and Nino placed the guitar back into its case for tomorrow.  
  
"It suits you," Sho spoke up after Nino zipped up the acoustic guitar away. "I think you'll master it in no time."  
  
Nino stood back up, his eyes clear and focused. "Why did you give me this all of a sudden?"  
  
"I thought...a new you should seek out a new skill," Sho answered. "When you were working with me, you learned to play the piano. And now that you no longer need me...I figured you'll want to play a new instrument. A string instrument, of course. They are your specialty."  
  
Nino's brow slightly turned down as if Sho's logic didn't make sense to him.  
  
Sho blinked and gazed around the floor, annoyed that he had to reformulate his words again. "It's like a graduation present. Sachi...was like your violin. Always there. Always present. Always with you. I was temporarily your piano." He stared at the studio piano sitting against the wall. "Not much color. Only black and white keys. Always changing...but now you have a new guitar. Something that can represent a new part of you. The independent you."  
  
The silence dragged on between them, but Sho saw the concentration on Nino's brow. The man was thinking long and hard on his words before he could speak. Sho's palms began to dampen, and he wiped them along his backside to steady his nervousness. A whole year has passed since Sho built this practice room back when he was just a lonesome construction worker. The same room that they encountered their first musical experience, their first fight, their first kiss...first sex. And now Sho will hear Nino's first thoughts of him.  
  
"I've been thinking a lot on the way back," Nino uttered. "About your solo, about my music, about...us."  
  
Sho quickly spoke up. "If you don't want to talk about it, then I'm okay with that. You've made it clear before, and all I can do is respect it. You want to go to America? That is fine by me. I'll be out of your way...I hope you like your new guitar."  
  
Sho turned around to head back to his room, but he felt a strong hand grip tightly around his wrist  
  
"Please listen to me!" Nino said firmly. "What I said earlier, about being able to live on my own, you know I meant it."  
  
Sho's brow twitched, but he didn't dare turn to look back at Nino. If he took one glance, Sho knew he'll be suckered into those eyes.  
  
"About you needing me, you know that was also true," Nino continued. "I was able to confirm that through your solo performance tonight. It told me everything I needed to know." Nino's grip tightened. "It wasn't easy for you...and for so long...and I wasn't the ideal partner to begin with. Do you know what your music really told me? You want to be free just as much as I do. But we complete each other. My violin and your piano. It is like we are chained to each other, and that's why you're so scared of being left alone. And yet the music we play together makes so much sense to me, I don't even know how to explain it."  
  
Sho gave in and glanced over his shoulder.  
  
"All I'm asking is for you to let me have my freedom...let me be on my own for some time...but don't tell you won't be my pianist anymore!" Nino's eyes glistened. "You say your past terrifies you because it reminds you of what you're capable of? Well,  _I'm_  terrified how much I want to keep you because...because I love you too."  
  
Sho's heart leaped to his throat at those words. He whirled around to face Nino and watched the shorter man blushing deeply and veered his eyes down.  
  
"I can live without you," Nino said, his voice low and husky, "but the truth is I choose not to. Not because I'm dependent of you...but because I want you with me!" Nino's voice grew louder with more heated passion. "Just because I said I want to be on my own for a bit doesn't mean I don't want you at all! How can you be so stupid?! I'm not calling myself a saint either, but I swear you were meant to be my partner! I can help you, Sho! And I will love you no matter!"  
  
At that instant, Sho pulled Nino for a tight embrace. Nino's arms wrapped around Sho's back with his short hands clinging to the pianist's shoulders. If there was any trace of anxiety and doubt left in Sho's body, it had completely washed away. Within the dark and quiet practice room, Sho felt lighter as if the final thorn plucked from his chest.  
  
"You were right, Nino," Sho muffled into Nino's hair. "I need you...I need you in my life even if it means to be patient. I will wait for you. Always."  
  
Nino slowly pulled away from their hug and held Sho's face. From the hallway light, Sho could see Nino's eyes sparkling just before the violinist leaned up for a kiss. Sho slithered his arms around Nino's waist as their jaws moved. Their warm lips pressed against each other, and their tongues traced along the corners to each other's mouth. Sho was about to pull away to catch his breath, but Nino quickly pulled Sho's head closer for a longer enduring kiss. Finally, Nino released them just as Sho's lips peeled away from the gifted violinist. Somehow their heartful confessions seemed silly, and they giggled at each other, fingers lacing each other.  
  
"Say it one more time," Nino moaned, his lips smirking. "That you need me."  
  
Sho's eyebrow twitched up. "You're quite sadist, aren't you?"  
  
Nino let out a chuckle as Sho brought his nose to the crook of Nino's neck and nuzzled down on soft skin again. If the world condensed into one room, their practice room was their own once again...  
  
*****  
  
~One Year Later~  
  
  
Sho carried the bouquet of white flowers up the concrete stairs. Nino followed behind him with his own set of flowers, and the split up when they reached the cemetery. Sho gazed down at the numerous gravestones until he found one that was itched with his mother's name. Someone had already placed some flowers before her grave, and Sho made a small smile. He placed his flowers next to it and brought his hands together in a prayer.  
  
Just when he was about finished, he felt his phone buzzing. He reached inside his pocket and read a text message from his brother. They were having a family dinner tonight at a restaurant, and they wanted Sho to join them. Sho's smile grew wider and he happily texted back he'll come. Family dinners were always once a week now.  
  
He stood up and went to find Nino at Sachi's burial. The man stayed still as a statue himself with his hands close together. Sensing Sho behind him, Nino glanced over his shoulder.  
  
"I'm going to have dinner with my family tonight," Sho said. "Do you want to come?"  
  
"No, I like staying at home," Nino answered as he stood up. "You should stay home too. You have a solo concert to perform next week."  
  
Sho chuckled. "I've practiced enough already. I think I deserve a break from music."  
  
Nino flustered up as if he was insulted. "You can't take a break from music! You are a professional pianist now! Music must constantly be your life! Your very existence! I will not forgive you if you quit music!"  
  
"I won't quit, Nino. You're overreacting," Sho rolled his eyes before walking away.  
  
Nino caught up to him. "Will you bring back food?"  
  
"You can make dinner yourself," Sho teased. "Or you can go hang out at Jun's place."  
  
"But Aiba and his wife are planning to have their baby shower there. It'll be too noisy."  
  
"But someone's gotta watch over Kenta and Sachiko during their a play date," Sho refuted back. "You could probably help relieve the parents with your guitar. They like it."  
  
It took a while before Sho became aware of the absent footsteps behind him. When he glanced back, he saw Nino making a pouty face of disappointment. Sho sighed and walked back to Nino. He gently took the violinist hands and kissed the corner of Nino's mouth.  
  
"Let's go home."  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
They walked back down the stairs with their hands laced together and their matching gold rings.  
  
The End


End file.
